


The Unexpected Arrival of Joy

by thesameasmine



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Childhood-Trauma Exploration, Developing Relationship, Dramedy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Healing, Inspired by Pixar's Inside Out (2015), Lena Luthor Character Study, Making Love, Odd-Couple Roadtrip, Phone Sex, Road Trips, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:08:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 78,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22892230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesameasmine/pseuds/thesameasmine
Summary: Inspired by Pixar's Inside Out.Fear is used to running the show when it comes to Lena Luthor's mind, but suddenly this Kara person keeps visiting Lena's office and now Joy has arrived to take over.What in the world is going on?orA quite literal exploration of Lena Luthor's brain.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 163
Kudos: 569





	1. Prologue

“Who are you?” Fear asked the version of Lena wearing a yellow suit. She was not here yesterday, and certainly not the day before that.

“I’m Joy.” She stated as a matter of fact. “Now, if you guys will excuse me!” She put on a big smile, moved a chair to the center of the control panel and got to work.

Both Sadness and Disgust looked at each other completely baffled and Anger was seething with rage, but it was Fear who took it the worst.

Fear was always in control, ever since Lena was a pre-teen.

But now this Kara Danvers person had come into Lena’s life and suddenly, Joy appeared.

Where had she been when Lena’s mother had died? Where had she been when Lex got arrested? Where had she been when Lena was all alone in the world?

Nowhere to be seen, but Fear had been there!

Fear had accompanied Lena through every hardship, every trial and every tribulation.

And now Joy was sitting right there making Lena smile in a really stupid way.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Fear, in her purple pristine suit, stepped right up to the intruder.

“Why my job of course!” Joy winked and smiled.

“Oh no, I don’t think so missy! I’m the one that sits at the center of the control panel. I steer this ship, I always have!” Fear saw spit coming out of her own mouth when she finished the last sentence and quickly looked over to Disgust- who was in fact recoiling with revulsion.

Joy was not really paying attention though. Instead, she kept pressing a red button to her right that made Lena laugh and twirl her hair like a school girl.

All five of them looked to the big wide screen in front of the controls with pure amazement. They had never seen Lena laugh quite like that.

“She’s so beautiful.” Anger voiced in a whisper.

“She is.” Sadness agreed.

Fear let herself contemplate just a little longer. She had never been able to make Lena laugh like that. A surge of jealousy ran down her chest and nested in her belly.

Sadness, Anger and Disgust, went over and sat in their usual seats to the right and left of Joy.

Fear looked around, feeling impotent as she reluctantly took the chair farthest to the right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Buy me a coffee! https://ko-fi.com/thesameasmine


	2. Fear

Fear arrived when Lena was about one year old. The small child was clumsy and Fear made sure that Lena stayed safe.

Fear thought Lena was the most beautiful human being in the entire universe and felt grateful for getting to watch over her. She felt that her role as guardian was crucial in Lena’s development, so that when Anger and Sadness showed up, she explained the hierarchy and they followed. Yes, of course Anger was important. She made sure that Lena was getting what she wanted and what was only fair; be it food or story times. Sadness on the other hand, was mostly a nuisance. Fear did not think that she helped Lena at all.

Nevertheless, when Lena’s mother died, none of the emotions could go on. By then Disgust was part of the group and all three of them would spend entire days crying and consoling each other. Sadness however, somehow managed to take over and keep Lena fed and clothed. That is when Fear understood that she was the strongest of them all.

Then there was Disgust. She was fun and most definitively Fear’s favorite. She made sure Lena did not smell bad, ate good food and dressed properly and that, well… that just really helped Fear feel less stressed about daily life.

As Lena grew, so did the controls inside the emotion's workplace. At first Fear had only one button that she would press for Lena to do whatever it was necessary, but with the arrival of Anger and Sadness, the panel grew in size and new buttons appeared.

Fear asked Anger once what was it that the lever did, because each time she pulled it Lena would do something different. Anger had explained that all the buttons did whatever and that the important thing was to look cool while pressing them. Anger, in her cool red suit loved to pull down the lever. Sadness instead, liked to pull down switches as if they were on a plane's cockpit. Disgust on her part, loved to press a big red button.

Fear had never found her favorite button. There just was not enough time to decide. In most cases Lena needed help right away and thus, Fear would press, pull, or roll whichever button or lever that was the closest. The others made fun of her for that, but it was all in good faith and for the most part Fear did not mind it.

For most of their lives they had bunkbeds in a room on the back, but suddenly some maintenance guys arrived when Lena turned 14 and showed each emotion to a room of their own. That had been terrifying and Fear had slept with Sadness for over a year before actually using her own facilities.

A normal day for them would consist of Fear waking up Lena desperately, just the thought of being late for work would send shivers down her spine. Then she would help Lena eat as quickly as possible. Sadness would take over when Lena was showering and then Disgust would do her thing and help Lena dress. Then it was up to anger to get Lena to work. Transit would incite her so, that most of them would take a ‘spontaneous’ coffee break and leave her alone to it.

After that, Fear would take over during work. She would make sure that Lena was always prepared—or over-prepared as the other emotions would call it—for everything! Just the thought of being asked a question she did not know the answer to would make Fear pee herself. Fear had gotten Lena through most of school, with Anger occasionally taking over if it was necessary for Lena to one-up her long-time college rival, Morgan Edge.

After work, Sadness would do most of the controlling. The other three would usually start cooking a meal and maybe take a shower.

Sadness really liked making Lena watch the city from her balcony. She also enjoyed drinking Whiskey neat and watching re-runs of Monk.

Fear would sometimes keep working after Lena was back home, but that was just to make her do some exercise or make her call her friend Sam. One of Fear's biggest worry was what would happen if Sam suddenly decided to stop being her best friend and left her like everybody else had.

At night, all the emotions would take turns keeping _dream watch_.

Fear hated it when it was her turn. Lena usually had nightmares about the horses back at her boarding school. They would trample her and Lena would end up on the floor beaten up. Fear could barely take it and sometimes would wake up Lena in a panic just to get it to stop.

After Lena finished the 7th grade, more features were added to the control panel.

First and most importantly of all, there were enough seats for the four of them and the panel was now wide enough too.

Second of all, the maintenance guys explained to them that there should always be a guiding emotion between the four of them.

Fear had been there first so it was obvious that this new role would befall on her.

Thirdly, now two emotions could control Lena at the same time. This brought on a complete new array of emotions they had never known before.

At first it was really hard to navigate. Fear had learned that sometimes it was very difficult for them to self-control. So when Fear was trying to navigate a conversation with Edge (he was very intimidating after all, but the pure terror Fear anticipated if he were to find that out would help her construct a façade of superiority that always set him off) Anger could not help herself and she sometimes would take over, resulting in such disdain towards the man that both emotions were riding a complete high when laughing in his face.

That emotion, turns out, was called hatred.

Fear and Anger loved it.

Sadness was scared of it and Disgust found it completely amusing.

However, it was not always the case that Fear learned that being paired up with one of her colleagues ended up being good.

And this is what would happen when her and Sadness handled the controls together. It usually came at quiet times, when Fear could not stop thinking about Lena’s mother for example and then she would lift up her face and meet Sadness' eyes, immediately knowing she was thinking about the same thing.

Soon Lena and her mother were to have lunch and the both of them were obsessing over it. This new emotion was called Anxiety.

Anger hated it.

Disgust found it pathetic.

Fear and Sadness could not help themselves.

As commander of Lena, Fear had many responsibilities. Most importantly: Lena’s well-being.

All four of them were greatly proud of her great intellect and wit. They also adored her dark sense of humor. In the end, Fear learned that what was true for her, was true for each of her colleagues: Lena _was_ the most important person in the universe and they all wanted the best for her.

Then everything changed when Kara Danvers arrived.

At first Fear was weary of Clark Kent entering Lena’s office. He obviously just wanted to make Lena look bad and for everybody to hate her as much as they hated her brother Lex.

“Please let me take over! I can put him in his place!” Anger hit the control panels with her fist in exasperation.

“No, no… we need to play it safe.” Fear had instructed.

“That’s right, just be pleasant with him, that will throw him in for a loop.” Disgust had agreed.

“Who is that?” Sadness pointed to the screen and they all looked over.

In front of them was a blonde woman with glasses, looking a bit lost.

“She’s so pretty.” Disgust whispered and both Anger and Sadness nodded in agreement.

“Be careful, she must be another reporter trying to make Lena look bad.” Fear warned the group.

“Disgust, please help me navigate this. Try to turn up the charm.” She requested.

Disgust had a special ability to make quick-witted remarks and she could also be very charming when handling social interactions.

Part of being a good leader was knowing your team’s strengths and weaknesses. Fear knew she could sometimes come off as mean or childish and she really admired Disgust and her capacity to charm people.

Disgust took over the controls on her side of the panel and asked who the blonde woman was. After learning that she was simply accompanying Mr. Kent, Disgust assured the woman, Kara was her name, that she thought she was an actual reporter.

“There it is! She’s smiling at us, that’s perfect Disgust.” Fear patted the Green-suited woman on the back.

When the whole interaction was over, they high-fived each other. Crisis averted.

“We nailed it!” Anger had exclaimed with excitement.

If only that had been all.

* * *

After that, Kara Danvers started showing up in Lena’s office on a weekly basis. Disgust adored the woman—God knows why, and Sadness would always smile every time that blonde hair peaked through Lena’s door.

“I can’t believe she’s here again! We must’ve done something right, she likes us!” Anger rested her face on her hand as she watched the woman smiling at them.

Fear instead, felt that they needed to be careful with this woman. Lena was an important CEO, trying to make a name for herself outside of her family and this woman- in the blink of an eye had become a reporter. She held power over Lena with only the use of the keyboard in her computer.

“Listen, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out for lunch…?” Kara had asked.

Fear’s gut reaction was to say no immediately, but out of nowhere Disgust had pressed her sacred red button and now Lena was letting out a funny remark about congratulating Kara for daring to take the troll away from her bridge.

Kara laughed at that and Disgust and Anger beamed.

“We have a meeting in like half an hour guys! We can’t go out to get lunch. What if we’re late?!” Fear warned.

“Lena deserves a break, just tell Jesse to postpone the meeting for half an hour, that gives us an entire hour to have lunch with Kara.” Sadness let out with a dreamy sigh.

“No, no way.” Fear took over the controls.

“Oh wait!” Lena said. “I have a meeting in like half an hour. I don’t think there’s enough time for us to have lunch.”

There! Lena was a responsible person. Work always came first!

The other three emotions protested. “Fear c’mon! Let Lena have some fun!” Anger whined.

“Look! Look!” Disgust pointed to the screen. Kara had gestured for Lena to wait for a moment and then left the office only to come back with a brown bag from Belly Burger.

“She’s an angel!” Sadness said with delight and both Anger and Disgust agreed.

Fear rolled her eyes. What was it about this woman that had so entirely charmed everybody? I mean, she was pretty yes, and she was definitively thoughtful—Bringing lunch with her was kind of genius—but what exactly was she doing here?

There was something in her gut that told Fear that Kara was only using Lena. She probably wanted the hot scoop on LCorp’s young CEO.

Fear hated that! If the other three let her get close, Lena could get hurt. This woman was dangerous.

“How you’ve been lately?” Kara asked her as she took a huge bite out of her burger.

Disgust had laughed at that. “Eww this woman eats like a caveman!” But nothing in her tone said that she felt true repugnance, it was more like she was amused by it or something.

Weird.

“Okay, umm- let’s not tell her that much. Please remember that she’s a reporter. Sadness, help me out with Lena’s answer.” Fear had instructed to the blue-suited version of Lena to her right.

Sadness was particularly well suited when conversing about honest things, not to mention that she was completely compassionate and in tune with everybody else's feelings and circumstances. Whenever fear needed Lena to be _real_ , Sadness was there to lend a hand.

Sadness nodded and pulled some of the switches down as Fear literally maneuvered a steering wheel.

“I’m good! I’m just- as you know, I’m new to the city so, I’m still trying to get acquainted with everything.” Lena said.

Fear put a hand on Sadness' shoulder, letting her know she had done a good job. “Perfect, not too much information, but still we sounded like a normal person.”

"I think you two just randomly aired out one of Lena's anxieties..." Disgust commented.

Kara beamed at Lena's comment. “I can show you the city. If you’re free this weekend, we could make a day of it.”

Anger had literally jumped up from her seat and was now fist-bumping the air.

Fear scoffed.

Sadness laughed “We fell right into that one!”

“Say yes! Say yes! Disgust leaned over to press the damn red button, but Fear stopped her.

“Don’t you dare.” She warned.

Disgust let out an exasperated sigh and then lifted her hands in the air. “All yours chief!” She quipped.

Fear took over the controls and buttons. She needed to get this right.

“Oh no, I don’t want to be a bother.” Lena said.

Kara waved her off. “You won’t be bothering me. I’m more than happy to do this!” She smiled pleasantly.

Fear felt frustrated at that, but not wanting to give up, she tried again.

“Really, there’s no need. I’ll eventually figure it out. Don’t worry.” Lena dismissed Kara.

“When was the last time you went out during the weekend?” Kara suddenly asked her.

Fear was taken aback by this. A sudden fright was taking completely over her. Lena had not gone out in months. Lena had no one. No one cared for her. She was going to die alone.

“Fear, are you okay?” Anger asked her.

“I think she’s having one of those panic attacks of hers.” Sadness observed.

“Whatever! I’m taking over you guys!” Disgust took in a deep breath before pressing her glamorous red button.

“You know what? It’s been forever. Let’s do it! Let’s go explore the city.” Lena said with enthusiasm.

Kara let out a little cheer. “Perfect! I’ll pick you up Saturday at ten.”

Sadness let out a strange sound and then nearly fainted.

“Umm… where do you live exactly?” Kara asked.

This immediately woke up Fear from her paralyzing panic. “DO NOT GIVE HER LENA’S ADDRESS!” She yelled loudly.

The other three looked at her as if she had grown two heads.

Fear decided to ignore them and get to work. She took a lever to the right and pulled it down.

“Let’s just meet some place instead. I can meet you at Noonan’s for brunch and we’ll start from there.” Lena said with a nervous smile, her voice nearly giving out at the end.

Kara frowned in confusion at Lena’s sudden change in demeanor, but then nodded in understanding.

Fear let out the biggest of sighs and calmed down.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Anger screamed at her. “You’re making Lena look bad when she’s actually wonderful and pretty and smart!”

Fear recoiled in—well—fear.

When Anger got like this, her eyes would go red and smoke would come out of her ears. It was really intense and intimidating.

“My guess is that since Kara is a reporter, Fear is afraid that if she knows Lena’s address, she will share it with everyone and Lena will get harassed by the paparazzi.” Sadness offered as way of an explanation.

Fear nodded. “Yes it’s exactly like Sadness said.”

Suddenly the smoke coming out of Anger’s ears stopped and her eyes turned back to Lena’s normal green irises. “I get it now. Sorry I yelled at you.” She apologized.

“Guys! Pay attention! She’s leaving.” Disgust called the other’s attention back to the screen.

Kara was now approaching Lena for a hug and Fear could simply _not_ process it. Dread ran through her veins and she clenched her eyes shut.

“Let’s just hug her back.” Sadness offered as she took over and pressed down her switches.

Lena held Kara in her arms for a brief second.

“She smells so good!” Disgust inhaled deeply.

“Oh my God! She totally does!” Anger agreed.

“That was such a nice hug.” Sadness said after it was over.

Then Kara left the office and the other three emotions looked to Fear and waited for her reaction.

“What if she’s just being nice to get at Lena? What if on Saturday she bails and Lena’s left all alone at Noonan’s like an idiot?” She voiced out her concerns.

“Then I’ll make her pay!” Anger said. “Finally use Lena’s bodyguards for something! They can beat the shit out of her!” She finished with pure malice in her eyes.

A shiver ran down Fear’s spine.

“You can’t do that! She’ll tell everybody and their mother and then Lena’s reputation will be ruined!” Disgust warned.

“Either way I don’t think she’ll do anything like that Anger” Sadness started to say. “She’s such a nice person. If she has to bail on Lena, I bet she’ll call beforehand. She’s classy like that.” then she looked down in thought. “Lena will be devastated though.”

“I wish you guys would see her the way I do.” Fear stated with frustration. “She’s dangerous. This woman- it’s obvious that she wants something from Lena. We _must_ be careful.”

The other three emotions groaned in complain.

“Why can’t you just let us have nice things?” Anger whined.

Fear got defensive at that. “I’m right about this. Trust me. She’s up to no good.”

* * *

“I brought you this” Kara offered Lena a small box. Lena was already seated down on one of Noonan’s tables dying of nerves. Both Fear and Sadness had gone in one of their spirals and were smashing buttons like crazy and thus filling Lena with raw anxiety.

“Oh my God, she got us a gift? Gross!” Disgust said, but again her tone showed actual amusement and was in no way denoting the name of her emotion.

Double weird.

“We have nothing to give her? Did she expect something? We have _nothing_!” Fear looked around in a panic and then smashed the first button she could see.

“Thank you Kara and don’t worry about brunch, it’s on me.” Lena said with a small smile.

“Good safe Fear!” Anger cheered.

“Okay let’s open the box.” Fear stated.

“Are you sure you can do this? Is okay if you can’t.” Sadness put her hand on Fear’s shoulder. “We all know how you feel about surprises…”

Fear clenched her eyes shut for a moment. She needed to be brave! Her colleagues were counting on her. “I got this Sadness, don’t worry!” She assured her.

Pressing down a green button to her left the four emotions watched as Lena opened the box to find… a camera.

“What?” Disgust said, with disappointment.

“What the fuck? Lena’s not even into photography!” Anger complained.

They all watched as Kara, now seated in front of Lena smiled softly as she took out a book from her backpack.

“It’s an instant camera! And this here is a photo album so you can save all of our memories from today!” Kara explained.

Sadness awed at that. “She is so lovely. What a beautiful creative mind this woman has.”

“You guys! What even? This woman is so _gross_!” Disgust said with happiness in her voice and Fear even saw her blushing.

Anger got up from her seat and started to applaud and Fear, well… Lena was not exactly photogenic, this was going to end up being a terrible idea.

“Fear, can I?” Sadness asked.

Fear gave her permission because honest to God, she had no idea how to react to Kara’s gift.

Sadness pulled down several switches and got to work.

“This is such a thoughtful gift. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.” Lena said with earnestness.

“Don’t make her look so desperate. Make her cool about it too.” Disgust chimed in and pushed her magnificent red button.

“I have so many of these at home, what’s one more?” Lena quipped.

Kara frowned her eyebrows for a moment, but then let out a little laugh. “It’s not easy getting something for the woman who has everything.”

Before Fear could decide what to say to that, Disgust pressed her glorious red button once again.

“Yeah, but this one’s special because it’s from you: My first friend at National City.” Lena said with a smile.

Kara smiled back, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

“That was a bit corny for you Disgust!” Anger poked Disgust on the side jokingly.

Disgust nodded. “It was, but just look at her… she’s giving us such a gross smile now.” (Again, this was said with complete elation. What was going on with Disgust? Fear had never seen her like this).

Fear let out a frustrated sigh. "Disgust, please don’t control Lena without my permission… you know she can get a bit _erratic_ when we do that."

“Whatever you say…” Disgust said nonchalantly as she looked at her nails instead of looking at Fear’s eyes.

Ugh!

After that, Kara ordered pancakes and ate like 10 of them, to Disgust's delight. Then they talked amicably about their weeks.

Fear let Sadness take over the conversation so long as she did not share too much information.

“I’m so happy I met you!” Kara suddenly gushed after a prolonged silence had ensued between them.

Sadness, moved her switches up and down as everyone watched with attention.

“That means a lot to me. Thank you.” Lena replied

“It’s just that, you know how I wasn’t a reporter when we first met?” Kara started.

Lena nodded.

“Well, after you told me that you thought I was one, I went over to my boss and we talked it over and well… now here I am. I’m so happy that you made me see what was right in front of me. That’s why I’m so grateful that you came into my life.” Kara said with genuineness.

Silence befell the control room in Lena’s mind and then suddenly everything started shaking. All the emotions grabbed onto something to try not to fall down.

“It’s an earthquake!” Fear yelled in a panic. And just as she finished saying that, the tremors stopped.

“What?- What was that?” Anger asked aloud.

“I don’t know, but whatever it was… I didn’t like it.” Fear responded.

“Me neither.” Sadness agreed.

“Lena? Are you okay?” Kara placed a hand on Lena’s shoulder.

“Shit! Do something!” Anger exclaimed, but then immediately she herself pulled down her lever.

“I’m okay! Nothing’s wrong with me!” Lena suddenly yelled at Kara.

Fear face-palmed at this. “Look what you made her do Anger! Now Kara probably thinks she’s a crazy person!”

“I’m sorry! I panicked, okay?” Anger defended herself.

Kara was taken aback. “I’m sorry, I- Of course you’re okay.” She said sheepishly.

Sadness suddenly fell on the floor.

“She hates Lena.” She started crying as she rolled on the floor. “Lena yelled at her and now she hates her.”

Fear rolled her eyes. Sadness was always so dramatic…

“I didn’t mean to be so brusque. I- uh… I was just lost in thought for a moment and you startled me. That’s all.” Lena explained as Fear started to push her buttons.

Kara let out a sigh of relief. “For a moment there I thought I had offended you somehow. I truly I’m so grateful that I met you Lena.”

Disgust looked on in awe. “This woman is so gross. It even makes my stomach twist.”

Fear pressed down two purple buttons on the upper left corner. They were hard to reach, so they had better be worth it.

“I’m not so sure I deserve such high praise. I barely did anything… this is all you Kara.” Lena said in a soft tone.

“YES!” Anger cheered. “You nailed it again Fear!”

Kara cleared her throat before speaking. “Well- it doesn’t matter who deserves credit. What’s important is that we’re here now and we’re going to have lots of fun together!”

Sadness suddenly got up and went back to her chair. “Does she like us again?”

“I think she does… gross, right?” Disgust scrunched up her nose at Sadness.

“I think it’s wonderful.” Sadness offered.

Lena paid for brunch and then Kara guided her to a bus stop.

“This is not your first time in a bus, is it?” Kara asked Lena with a playful smirk.

“Eww… Lena’s not taking the bus! Not in a million years!” Disgust complained.

Fear panicked. “Lena’s never taken the bus. Oh my God, what if Kara wants to murder her and then leave her corpse at one of the stops?”

Anger was fuming! “Who does she think Lena is? A peasant?”

“I think Kara just wants to show us her version of National City you guys… and well, that happens to include a bus.” Sadness offered.

The other three emotions took a pause to ponder Sadness’ words.

“Fuck it! if everybody can take a bus, so can Lena!” Anger exclaimed as she pulled down her lever without requesting permission.

“It isn’t my first time!” Lena suddenly threw a punch at Kara’s shoulder in good fun.

Pain surged through everyone’s right hand.

“God no! Noooo whyyyy!” Sadness whined as she rolled on the floor with pain.

Kara seemed frantic as she held Lena’s hand and examined it.

“Make the pain go away! God whyyyy!” Sadness continued her tirade.

The other three of them held their hands close to their chest in pain.

“What the fuuuuck!?” Anger exclaimed with unmitigated rage.

Fear spoke through clenched teeth. “This woman… she’s hiding something. There’s no way that punching someone’s shoulder can hurt this bad.” She concluded.

Anger and Disgust nodded their agreement as all three looked on at the screen.

Kara was carrying Lena in her arms and walking with her down the street.

Sadness was still rolling on the floor crying her little heart out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!!
> 
> Please let me know if reading this is a bit confusing. It's the first time I write with so many characters to take into account and I really want to get it right.  
> (If it is in fact confusing, any advice on how to do better is more than welcomed).
> 
> Thank you once again and please let me know if you're interested and if I should continue! <3


	3. Sadness

Lena’s mind held several P _ersonality Islands_ that Sadness really enjoyed. There was an entire one dedicated to Whiskey and there was also another one purely dedicated to boxes. Disgust liked to call that island: Repression, but that was simply not true. The Island even had a giant billboard on it that said ‘Boxes’ so, obviously she was wrong. Plus it was not about repressing anything, it was about categorizing and archiving Lena’s emotions. If it were to be called another thing, Sadness would say that ‘Compartmentalizing’ was a way better alternate name.

Another of Lena’s islands, and Fear and Anger’s favorite was ‘Science’. Lena loved that topic with all of her heart and so did everybody on the team. That island was by far the biggest and most complex.

Then came Disgust's favorite island: Self-deprecating quips. This island was very dear to her heart because it held all of Lena’s sense of humor and charm. Sadness hated that island though. She thought it was stupid to air out Lena’s personal issues for the sake of a joke.

Then it came Fear’s favorite Island: Samantha Arias. They had built a monument to her and the people on that island adored her in a sort of tribal primitive way. They would chant and dance around the statue with fires and food. Fear had always wanted to go there and party with those whole loved Sam as much as she did, but being Lena’s main commander left little to no time for recreational activities.

Anger’s ultimate favorite island though, was an entire wasteland dedicated to Lena’s family. It looked like the set of an old Western movie and Anger loved the idea of being there and getting to shoot out a bunch of people.

Fear found that very disturbing.

Islands came and went though. For example, When she was younger, Lena used to have an island entirely dedicated to horses, but that one disappeared a few years into college. (Much to Sadness' devastation). Another one that came and went were the one’s dedicated to Lena’s crushes. In college there had been an island with an entire shrine dedicated to Sally Havilland, that later crumbled after finding out that she was dating Elizabeth Woodward. Ever since her mother died, getting Lena through tough stuff like heartbreak had always been Sadness' job. She simply was the entire team’s rock during a crisis.

And that is why they needed her now that Lena was being carried along the street by Kara Danvers with what most likely was a broken hand. Instead, Sadness had chosen the other route she was good at: Throwing a tantrum.

“Sadness! Get it together now! Lena needs you!” Fear shouted at her.

“Forget about her. She’s no use!” Anger shouted in anger.

Still all three of them held their right hands close to their chest in pain.

“Okay, since we’re going to have to do everything one-handed, let’s try to team-up, okay?” Fear instructed the team.

Disgust groaned. “You and Anger can’t work together unless you want to scare the crap out of the woman with a brick wall for a shoulder…” She warned them

That was true, Fear and Anger combined could get really intense.

“Okay, umm…. Let’s go, you and me Disgust.” Fear ordered.

Both of them pulled a lever they shared.

Lena looked around as Kara ran with her in her arms. “God it really hurts. This is the worse!” She complained.

Kara looked at her directly. “I’m so sorry Lena. Please forgive me.”

“Forgive you? What do have under your shirt? A brick?” She continued to complain.

Kara let out a sorrowful expression. “Not a brick… I just- I go to the gym a lot and maybe my muscles are a little tough or something.”

Disgust raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Wow… that is actually pretty gross!”

Anger was starting to lose it. Her eyes were red and it was only a matter of seconds before smoke started coming out of her ears. “What the fuck? A little tough? How about a motherfucking steel wall, huh Kara?” She yelled at the screen.

Fear took a calming breath and pressed several buttons to her right.

“Where are you taking me?” Lena asked with nervousness in her voice.

“There’s a clinic two blocks away. We’re nearly there.” Kara informed her.

Fear sighed in relief, Kara was not going to kill Lena and then dispose of her body, she just wanted to get her medical help. Thank God.

Once they arrived at the clinic, they took an x-ray of Lena’s hand. It was not broken, but it was sprained.

After that, Lena was given some pain medication and told to come back in two-weeks’ time for physical therapy.

Sadness calmed down once the medicine kicked in and they all regained use of their right hands.

It was now 3 o’clock in the afternoon and Lena was hungry again.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Kara asked her as they walked out of the emergency room.

“Yes, please.” Lena responded.

“I uh- I took pictures. I hope you don’t mind…” Kara took some instant photos out of her pocket and gave them to Lena.

Fear nearly fainted at that. “She’s going to sell them to the highest bidder and Lena will be the laughingstock of the entire country!”

Lena browsed through the pictures.

Lena with the doctor; Lena waiting to get an x-ray; Kara in the front and center of a selfie with Lena in the background being given a few pills.

“This is humiliating!” Disgust complained.

“What the fuck is wrong with that woman?” Anger was fuming now, and everybody had to dodge under the control panel because when she got like that, there was bound to be an explosion.

From under the table Sadness was the last one to voice out her opinion. “Maybe she thought it would be funny? Plus, I don’t think she will sell them, since she’s giving them to us.”

That sounded reasonable, but there was something crucial that was currently happening which impeded the emotions from being rational.

The thing about Anger was that… as Lena gets more and more hungry, all the other emotions get weaker and it is only her who is left with enough strength to control Lena. And as it so happened, Lena was really hungry.

As fire came out of her ears and eyes, Anger opened a little glass-case that protected a very special red button and then pushed it with all of her might.

Fear literally pissed herself. It was not her first time and God knew it was not going to be her last, but still it was such a pain having to take a shower and change clothes in the middle of the day.

“Take me home. I want to go!” Was Lena’s forceful reply.

“I’m- I’m so sorry… I thought you’d laugh. I don’t know what to say-” Kara started.

By now they were back on the street. Lena ignored Kara and took out her cellphone. “Hi, Frank? Pick me up at National City’s Clinic. Yes, right now!” She ordered with firmness.

“I’m going home Kara, leave me alone.” Lena requested.

Kara stepped in front of Lena. “Please let me make it up to you! I’ll do anything.”

Still crouching under the control panel, Fear worried about Kara’s offer. You see… Anger tended to have a sort of sadistic side.

Fire stopped pouring out of every orifice in Anger’s body when she heard Kara’s words. Little by little all the other emotions came out from under the control panel.

“What should I make her do?” Anger asked out loud to no one in particular.

Then she pulled down her lever.

“Take an embarrassing picture of yourself, right now.” Lena demanded.

Kara laughed at that. “Sure, no problem!” She said with true amusement as she grabbed the instant camera.

All of the emotions watched as Kara made the most unappealing face they had ever seen. She lowered her jaw to her chest and a bunch of wrinkles came out under her chin. She then snapped a selfie.

Anger’s eyes returned to normal as she laughed.

“That is _so_ gross!” Disgust started laughing as well.

Lena also laughed, which Kara took as a good sign and continued making horrible faces at the camera and taking selfies. She gave to Lena each instant photo that came out and Anger pulled her lever up and down, getting Lena to shake the polaroids.

Fear let out a small smile. Kara was… well, she was actually pretty funny.

“Disgust, please stop her already and be nice to her.” Fear ordered.

Disgust nodded and then pressed down her marvelous red button.

“Please stop, let’s just go grab lunch Kara.” Lena said between laughs.

Kara smiled one of her kind smiles and stopped taking selfies. “How about one more with the two of us?”

Fear waved a hand for Disgust to stop controlling Lena. “Sadness you’re up!”

Sadness pulled down several switches.

Lena let out a sorrowful smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve taken a photo just for the fun of it.” She confessed.

Kara pulled her arm around Lena’s shoulders. “Let’s keep that from happening ever again, okay?”

She lifted the camera in front of them, about to take the photo.

All of the emotions looked at Fear.

The team… they all really sucked at smiles.

Anger’s smile looked more like a sneer.

Disgust’s smile… that one looked plain sardonic.

Then there was Sadness’ smile that always let people know that Lena was not actually okay.

Fear let out an exhausted breath and pressed a green button to her left.

Lena smiled yes, but her eyebrows showed worry.

Kara took the picture and then let go of Lena.

“We always suck at that. I hate it.” Anger grumbled.

“You’re beautiful. You know that, right?” Kara simply said as she shook the polaroid.

Again all of the emotions in the room stood still, not knowing what to do.

Then the tremors started back again.

“We’re gonna die! We’re all doomed!” Fear yelled as she held on to the control panel with one hand and Disgust with the other.

Anger grabbed a red phone near the edge of the panel and made a call. “What the fuck is going on?” She yelled at the device.

“Well, can’t you fix it? We can’t work here with all the ruckus!” Anger shouted. “Well fuck you! You need to do better! Lena deserves better!” And with that she hung up.

The other three emotions looked to her expectantly.

“Apparently there’s something going on with Lena’s heart. She’s having something called _palpitations_. They’re trying what they can in order to stop it, but so far nothing’s worked.” Anger explained.

Fear groaned in frustration. “This is all so… so _scary_! I have to go take a shower and change… Sadness, you’re in charge.” She said once the tremors had stopped.

“Eww! Did you pee yourself again?” Disgust asked her.

“You _know_ I have a condition!” Fear voiced harshly as she left the room.

Sadness then got to work.

She made Lena smile one of those sorrowful smiles.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kara stepped closer to Lena.

Disgust rolled her eyes. “You’re making her worry… let me just-” She then searched under the control panel with one of her hands, pulled out a keyboard and got to typing.

Disgust only used the keyboard when she wanted to make sure Lena would say exactly what she wanted.

“Nothing’s wrong. You’re very beautiful too.” Lena let out in a breath.

The three of them watched Kara blush at that.

“Holy shit!” Anger exclaimed.

Disgust winked at Anger and then continued typing.

“C’mon, you still have to show me the city.” And as if by magic, Frank pulled over the town car in front of the two of them. “Let’s go!”

All of the three emotions let out a sigh of relief.

“You did so good. I am so proud.” Sadness let Disgust know.

After that, Kara took Lena to the highest point in National City and together they had lunch and contemplated the skyline. Sadness specially enjoyed that.

Then Fear got back with another purple suit and sat back in her designated seat at the center of the control panel.

The women then went to National City’s museum.

All of the emotions were very engaged with the artwork. Each decided that they had found a favorite painting.

A group of water lilies for Sadness.

A still life painting of rotten food for Disgust.

A group of starving people during a war for Anger.

And an entirely black canvas for Fear.

Kara took pictures all throughout and then would place them in the photo album.

“Do you wanna get drinks? I know a place.” Kara offered when it was already dark outside as they exited the museum.

Fear felt a twinge of panic, but decided to ignore it and nodded for Sadness to take over.

Sadness excitedly pulled down a big switch on the upper part of the control panel.

“Do they have good scotch in this place you know?” Lena asked Kara.

“As a matter of fact, they do!”

They ended on a quaint little part of town with little bars all around. All the emotions really enjoyed the lighting and just the good vibe the area gave out.

Fear was really bad at handling social interactions at night. She was always so nervous that something might be lurking in the shadows.

“Disgust, please take over.” She requested.

Disgust smirked and got to work.

They sat at the bar and Lena ordered one Whiskey neat. Kara instead, ordered a Vodka Lime.

“Oh you’re a pussy!” Lena teased.

“No I’m not, I literally sprained your hand with my muscles!” Kara clapped back.

Disgust laughed at that. “Oh she’s good. She’s so good!”

“That you did.” Lena lifted her hurt hand up, the swelling had gotten down, but now it was starting to turn purple in color.

Kara took her hand with gentleness and gave it a little kiss. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

Sadness had to wipe away a single tear that was streaming down her face. “She is just so _nice_.” She commented.

“You more than made up for it!” Lena quipped by command of Disgust. “Can I see your pictures one more time?”

Kara pulled out the photo album from her backpack and gave it to Lena.

Disgust made Lena look for Kara’s embarrassing pictures, but as she browsed they all started to pay attention to all of the other polaroids in the album.

They were all of Lena.

Lena with a look of passionate wrath as she beheld the painting with starving people; Lena as she took a gander at the skyline with a beautiful look of pure melancholy; Lena smirking sexily as she sat on the town car talking to Kara; and then Lena’s selfie with Kara and that horrid look between a smile and an anxious face.

“Way to ruin the album!” Anger remarked at Fear.

Fear looked down to her shoes. Anger was right. “I’m- I’m sorry guys.”

“It’s okay Fear.” Sadness placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not as if any of us is that good at smiling.”

“I particularly enjoy this one.” Kara pointed Lena to a picture on the bottom left.

It was of Lena clenching her eyes shut as a dove flew right by her and frightened her.

All of the emotions laughed good-heartily, including Fear.

“You look so cute like that.” Kara observed.

The room stood in silence at that.

“Guys… Guys it’s coming. HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!” Anger shouted for everybody to hear and in fact, she had been right. The entire room started shaking.

“It’s a _palpitation!!!_ ” Fear yelled in horror.

As Disgust held on to the console for dear life, she lifted her hand with all the strength she could muster and pressed the red button before falling to the floor.

“Not as cute as you look on this one!” Lena pulled out the double-chin picture of Kara.

The tremors stopped immediately.

“She’s hurt!” Anger said as she held onto Disgust.

Both Fear and Sadness looked on with worry.

“Take her to a medic!” Fear ordered and Anger helped Disgust get up. Together they walked over to an elevator and went down.

Will they be alright? What if Disgust was too badly hurt? What if they got lost and never came back? Fear was literally having a panic attack.

Sadness placed both of her hands on Fear’s shoulders to try to get her attention. “Fear! We need to keep going! Lena needs us!”

Fear snapped out of it and got to work. “Sadness, please take over. Just play it sincere.” She instructed.

Sadness nodded in acknowledgement. They both looked at the screen.

Kara was full on laughing at her own photo. She looked so unrestrained and free.

“I see that you’re really good at laughing at yourself. I’m afraid I’m not too good at that.” Lena commented through Sadness’ direction.

As Kara wiped away the tears that had gathered in her eyes from all the laughing, their drinks arrived. There was a moment of silence as they both took a sip.

Then Kara looked at Lena with intensely piercing blue eyes. “I guess I learned that about you today, but it’s okay… I know how easy it is to be too much in your own head and start to overthink about how other people might see you.” Kara commented.

Fear gaped at that. Kara understood.

“Tell her it’s exactly like that Sadness! Go on! Tell her!” Fear ordered in a rush.

Lena cleared her throat. “It’s exactly like that for me. I just- I feel like I can’t relax, y’know? I have to keep my guard up just in case there’s someone out there trying to get something from me.” She said with complete genuineness.

Kara nodded. “And it’s exhausting, right? Not being able to let go and simply be yourself?”

Fear yelled. “It is! Yes!”

Then Lena confessed “Yes! It is so exhausting.”

“Ask her how she does it, Sadness! Ask her!” Fear was feeling frantic now. She had never had this sort of conversation with anybody.

“How do you do it?” Lena asked Kara.

Kara took a pause and looked to the side in thought.

Both Sadness and Fear awaited impatiently for her answer.

“You need to find people you trust; people that allow you to be yourself and then slowly, but surely you start to let go. It’s exhilarating you’ll see… Once you get the hang of it in front of those you trust, you can start doing it around anybody. I don’t know- I think it has to do a lot with self-love as well because it’s you giving yourself permission to be who you are.” She explained elaborately.

“There’s also a bit of a _fuck it_ factor of course. You can’t care too much about what others think after all.” Kara added as an afterthought.

Fear and Sadness were completely flabbergasted.

“How do I respond to that?” Sadness asked Fear.

Fear shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say to that.”

Sadness looked down to the control panel and pulled down a big lever to her right.

Lena leaned closer to Kara and hugged her.

“Oh this feels so nice.” Sadness commented.

“Sadness! Get under the control panel!” Fear yelled as she pulled on one of Sadness' blue sleeves.

They both got down there, fearing that another tremor was coming.

And it did!

They hugged each other tightly as they waited for it to pass.

Kara leaned back, searching Lena’s eyes.

Fear got up and took up the phone at the end of the console.

“You need to fix this!” She yelled at whoever answered.

“We’re on it ma’am. We think we’ve got a solution.” One of the maintenance guys answered her.

“Well whatever it is, just do it!” She ordered.

“On it!” The guy replied.

“Please connect me to the med bay.” Fear requested.

As Fear spoke on the phone with Anger, Sadness payed attention to the screen.

Kara's face was really close now. In fact, almost too close to be deemed normal.

“Fear…” Sadness called out.

“I’m glad it’s just a bruise.” Fear said to the phone.

“Fear…!” She called out again.

“Just get here as soon as you guys can. Lena needs you!” Fear said with intensity.

“FEAR!” Sadness yelled out for her.

Fear hung up the phone. “What?”

“I think she’s about to kiss Lena.” Sadness said in a panic.

“What?!” Fear turned to look at the screen. All she could see now was Kara’s face as she slowly closed her eyes.

Fear fell unconscious to the ground.

Sadness gulped. She was all alone for this. She sent out a prayer to the sky as she took off her blue blazer and rolled up the sleeves of her light blue button-up shirt.

Then she pulled down the big lever on her side of the console.

The kiss felt so warm and soft and suddenly it was just too much for Lena. She could feel tears gathering in her eyes as she poured out all of the raw emotion she was feeling into the kiss.

She felt Kara's thumb caressing her cheek as they kissed.

Sadness started to feel lightheaded as she maneuvered the controls.

Once their lips parted, Kara looked at Lena with worry. “Are you okay?” She asked her as she wiped away her tears.

Lena nodded. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.”

“That’s okay and… for what is worth, I’m pretty much feeling like that myself.” Kara responded.

Sadness’ heart went out to Kara.

“Was this a date?” Lena asked.

“I hoped that it would be, but I wasn’t too sure if you were into me as much as I was into you…” Kara confessed in a soft tone.

Lena took a sip of her Whiskey neat before responding. “Thank you for such a beautiful day. I’ll always remember it.”

Kara smiled bashfully. “Do you think we could maybe do this again? How about next weekend?”

Lena looked to the floor in thought.

Inside Lena’s mind, Sadness was crying and crying as she handled the controls.

“Lena’s been so lonely for so long.” She cried out. “Oh God, she deserves this so bad. It’s so beautiful!” She used one of her rolled up sleeves to wipe her nose and then continued her work.

“Thank you. I would really appreciate that.” Lena finally responded.

Kara grinned with excitement.

A sound from the left side of the room made Sadness turn around. The elevator was back, and in came Anger with Disgust, who was now wearing an arm sling.

Anger looked to the floor at a fainted Fear and then to the screen at Kara’s happy face. “What did we miss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol... I'm having so much fun with this silly thing. I hope you are too!


	4. Anger & Disgust

Anger never knew true meaning in her life until Morgan Edge.

He was arrogant, belligerent and misogynistic. Plus he was beneath Lena in every way and just plain ugly. Like- really fucking ugly, okay? His face could probably scare little children during Halloween without him having to wear a mask.

Needless to say, Anger hated him.

It started pleasant enough because let’s face it, Fear being the commander of Lena meant that she was a very insecure person that always wanted to please. Therefore, when they first met in college, Lena was nothing but nice to him.

Then came his little comments after each exam.

“I got an A on the quiz. What did you get?” He would ask Lena.

“Keep it cool. We do not need to lower Lena down to his level.” Fear had instructed.

Anger was fuming though because Lena had gotten an A+ and this little piece of shit was nothing. Lena was smarter, better and prettier. He needed to know his place and Anger was the right emotion to show it to him.

“Congrats on your grade Morgan. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Fear made Lena say in a high-pitched nervous tone.

_Fuck that!_

Anger took her lever and pulled it down.

Lena dropped her exam on the floor, revealing the grade to everyone in the vicinity. “Oops, sometimes I’m _so_ clumsy.” Anger made Lena say in a completely disingenuous tone.

“Whoa she got a better grade than you Edgelord!” One of the students mocked.

Edge clenched his teeth with rage.

Then Anger pressed a yellow button to the side and made Lena pick up her exam, turn her back to Edge and keep on walking with a swing to her hips. Anger then looked from the screen down to her colleagues.

They were all staring at her with annoyed faces.

Anger, the only one of the group that liked to wear a tie, adjusted it nervously. “What? That was pretty good, wasn’t it?”

“I said we weren’t going to stoop down to his level.” Fear repeated herself. “And you went and goaded him… Now he’s going to be looking for payback.”

“And so what? We can take him! He’s nothing.” Anger countered.

“He _is_ nothing, but still… now we’re no better than him.” Disgust stated in agreement with Fear.

Anger let out a sigh. She really respected what Disgust had to say.

“I’m sorry.” Anger apologized

“Guys look!” Sadness pointed to the screen.

Morgan had just grabbed Lena by the arm. “Let’s see who answers the most questions at Quiz Bowl next weekend alright?” He essentially spit in her face.

“Eww gross! Some of his saliva felt on Lena’s face.” Disgust complained.

“Oh it’s on! It’s motherfucking on you lil’ bitch!” Anger yelled at the screen.

“Lil’ bitch? Seriously?” Sadness asked with incredulity.

Fear simply rolled her eyes at the whole situation.

That next weekend Lena was the one person on the team to answer the most questions. That shut Morgan up for about two weeks.

After that, they continued to have a relationship defined by their rivalry. There were rumors at school about how supposedly they actually had the hots for each other and hid it under the veil of intellectual competition. Nevertheless, as soon as Lena heard about that rumor she started accepting dates with every girl in campus that dared to ask her out, just to let everybody know that she was _not_ straight and that she was most definitively _not_ into Morgan Edge.

Two years of college went by and nothing ever improved between them.

Anger would lie awake at night just thinking about how to crush him. She decided to wake Lena up on a regular basis around 3 A.M. and make her study the shit out of all of her courses.

“You look like shit. What’s going on with you?” Sam, her best friend and roommate had asked after 3 months of this.

“Tell her we’re fine goddammit!” Anger, looking completely disheveled with her pink shirt out of her pants, her red tie loose around her neck and her hair a complete mess, yelled at Fear.

“What if we’re not fine?” Fear looked on at the screen with worry.

“I don’t think we are.” Sadness said between tears. “I miss Lena’s mom.” She said as she walked over to the memories filing cabinet and took one pen drive. She connected it to the console and there she was: Lena’s mom making funny faces at the screen.

Fear succumb first at the memory, then Disgust threw herself at the floor and started crying.

Anger tried to hold back her tears. She wanted to stay strong and keep Lena going, but it proved impossible when Lena’s mother called her _my little flower._

That simply killed her.

She could no longer keep it together and started crying her heart out.

Sadness then took completely over Lena.

“I’m not okay. I- I need help, Sam please.” Lena threw herself at Sam.

After that Lena took it easy for the rest of the semester.

Morgan would brag in the middle of the hallway that he was going to be valedictorian and Lena would just walk on by without paying any attention to what he had to say.

Anger had learned her lesson. She needed to show restraint from time to time or she could really hurt Lena.

“You kissed her?” Anger asked in a loud voice, her eyes turning red. “You know I’m the one that does the kissing around here! How could you?!” She continued yelling.

Sadness stepped back. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.” Tears were running down her face. “I was left all alone and I didn’t know what else to do. Kara’s the one who initiated it.” She hid her face behind one of her arms as she continued weeping.

Anger’s eyes returned to normal. “Are you okay?”

She went over to Sadness and held her in her arms.

(All the while Disgust was trying to wake up an unconscious Fear, who was currently lying on the floor)

“Shh… it’s okay. Cry all you want. I’ve got you.” Anger caressed Sadness hair, whom out of all four of them, was the only one who wore it down.

“I was left all alone. It was awful!” Sadness cried into Anger’s shirt.

Anger tried to make eye-contact with Disgust but it proved fruitless. “D! You need to take over.”

Disgust poked Fear on the forehead one last time before getting up and walking over to the console. “Okay, okay… let’s see- what is Lena up to right now?”

She looked up to find Lena making out with Kara. “Oh my God…” She looked to Anger with a cry for help. “You know I can’t kiss anybody or Lena ends up vomiting. Anger, you need to take over before Kara thinks Lena’s a stiff kisser.”

“Will you be okay?” Anger asked Sadness.

“I think so. Thank you for being there for me.” Sadness expressed her gratitude with utter sincerity.

Then Anger let go and walked over to the console. “Okay, I think it’s been over a year already… Let’s hope I’m not too rusty!” She then winked at Disgust before pulling down her lever.

Lena returned the kiss with fervor; sucking on Kara’s lips and moaning. Kara’s reaction was to cup the back of Lena’s head with one of her hands to pull her in for an even deeper kiss.

“Alright, alright, alright!” Disgust said with encouragement. “This is totally gross, but amazing as well.”

After they parted, Anger high-fived Disgust. “Okay, now _you_ take over.”

Disgust sat down at the center of the console and got to work.

“You’re a really good kisser.” Kara told Lena.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Lena replied.

Disgust, even one-handed, was more than capable of getting the job done.

Kara let out a chuckle, but then her face suddenly turned somber. “Lena, I’m so sorry, but I’ve gotta go. I just realized that I’m late for something.”

Disgust was appalled. “What? But this was just getting interesting! C’mon!” She complained.

“Just give her a pleasant goodbye and let’s call it a night.” Fear said as she was trying to get up from the ground. “And yes, I saw that they were kissing.”

Disgust nodded and pressed her beautiful red button.

“That’s okay. Can’t say that I had a bad time at all. Goodbye Kara.” Lena smirked.

“I’ll try to visit your office during the week- maybe we could have lunch? If I can’t, then I’ll definitively be seeing you next Saturday.” She leaned down and pecked Lena on the lips before leaving the bar.

“What does this make them? Are they dating? Is it casual? Is it serious? Does Lena have to meet her parents?” Fear started voicing aloud all of her concerns.

“Calm down… we’re obviously keeping it cash.” Anger said.

“I think it’s pretty serious actually.” Sadness chipped in.

“Which one is it then? ‘Cause I know for sure that it can’t be both.” Fear lifted her hands in the air in indignation.

Her question, however, remained unanswered as they all watched Sadness' actions.

By now Sadness was back on her seat and she started to pull one of the switches down. Making Lena take another sip of her drink.

“What are you doing? You wanna get her drunk now?” Disgust complained.

The both of them were sitting one right next to the other. Sadness on her designated seat and Disgust on Fear’s seat.

Both Anger and Fear looked warily from one to the other, anticipating what was soon to come.

“Yes. I want to get her drunk. Is that okay with you? Do I have _your_ permission?” Sadness spit out with sarcasm.

Disgust clenched her good hand in a fist. “You wanna do this? Let’s do it then!” She spoke directly to Sadness.

“Oh God no… not again.” Fear groaned as she watched the scene from the sides.

“Lena will find a way to ruin it with Kara.” Sadness said as she pulled down another switch and Lena took another sip.

“Lena is not worthy of love.” Disgust countered as she pushed down a purple button to her left and Lena took another sip.

“Lena will be forever alone.” Sadness bit back, tears streaming down her face.

“Anger you need to do something about this.” Fear begged with tears welled up in her eyes.

What was happening right now was very dangerous. The last time it had happened was after Lena broke up with her previous relationship. Turns out that when Sadness and Disgust worked together, they created a new emotion in Lena called: Self-loathing.

“Stop it! Stop it right _now_!” Anger positioned herself in front of the console. “Lena doesn’t deserve this shit! You’re being so selfish right now, only thinking of yourselves! It is so unfair to Lena. We all love her and you don’t get to say those bad things about her. _Ever!_ ” She was panting with pure rage now.

“Lena _will not_ ruin things with Kara! We will do it right this time!” She spoke directly to Sadness.

“Lena _is_ worthy of love. She is _good_ and _kind_ , she’s the best person we know, of course she deserves love.” Anger spit out directly at Disgust.

“Lena will not be alone! She will always have us, even if this thing with Kara doesn’t work out. We will always be there for Lena and do right by her!” Anger’s eyes turned red now and her ears started to let out smoke.

The other three emotions ducked out of the way as Anger literally shot fire out of her eyes and ears.

She looked savage and Fear felt utter admiration for her.

After that, Lena put the glass down, got in the car with Frank and went back to her apartment.

* * *

It was not easy being like- the only sane emotion in Lena’s brain. What with Sadness being a crybaby, Fear a personified bundle of nerves and Anger being literally a bomb about to go off at any second… Disgust had it real rough you guys.

Still, do not misunderstand. Anger was her peeps… ‘cause honest to God, that woman was hilarious and Sadness… that bitch, never ever repeat this aloud, but… Disgust felt such envy for Sadness. Not about her suit of course, there ain’t nothing better than green, but about the way she could make Lena say the realest of things without faltering. Disgust could never do that.

Fear though, Fear was Disgust’s hero. (Again though, do not tell this to anybody). Why was she her hero? Well, because that woman had it real tough and like- nevertheless she kept Lena going, no matter what. Fear was nothing if not brave.

Anyways, back on topic. It was really hard to be Disgust because she never knew she would be in charge of so many things. At orientation, they explained to her that she should make sure Lena smells everything before eating it, just in case it had gone bad. Plus they also explained that she was the custodian of Lena’s fashion sense. That was it.

Now however, she was in charge of Lena’s sense of humor, snark, charm, comebacks and any other social interactions. It was excruciating.

Most of all because like, where did Disgust find the humor in Lena’s life? In her _tragedies._ What? It’s true… there is no difference between Shakespeare’s comedies and tragedies except for the endings. So yeah, she made fun of Lena’s worst moments and yes, she made Lena just randomly say these things out loud.

_What with my family being a bunch of liars I think I’ve had enough practice to identify one!_

_That’s me, the orphan girl!_

_I’m not myself until I’ve had at least two glasses of scotch._

Those were pearls that Disgust was casting to a world filled with swine.

“Go to therapy!” Sam would tell Lena, and then everybody at Headquarters would look at Disgust like _see what you just did?_

Disgust was not to be blamed though. What did the other’s knew? Fear would only make Lena seem neurotic or at the very least insecure. Anger made her seem like a madwoman and Sadness, well… it was not fun being around a heartfelt sincere person with constant tears bordering in the corners of her eyes, now was it?

So instead, this responsibility laid on her shoulders.

You get it now why it is so hard being Disgust?

“You want some coffee?” Fear asked Sadness. It was the the early hours of morning and all of the emotions were going through their morning routine before going to work.

“Yes please. What time is it?” Sadness replied with a yawn.

“It’s 4:34 A.M.” Fear replied, giving her a cup filled with the brown liquid and after her own sympathetic yawn she said. “I’ll wake Lena up at 5:10 today, she needs that extra sleep.”

“Oh yeah, those extra ten minutes are going to make all the difference!” Disgust walked past Fear and Sadness and served herself a cup of coffee as well.

“What? You know she needs to wake up early. She can’t be late for work.” Fear responded.

Disgust rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah yeah, whatever.”

“Where’s Anger?” Sadness wondered as she headed over to the sink to wash her finished cup of coffee.

“I’m right here! But I can’t decide between these two.” Anger lifted two ties for them to observe. “Should I go with this one? I think it symbolizes: _Let’s make Lena proud!_ Or should I go with this one? Which I think is more of an _Up and at’em_ kind of tie. What do you guys think?”

“They’re both red.” Disgust said in a monotone tone.

“Yeah but like, what’s the vibe you’re getting from each one?” Anger insisted.

Disgust rolled her eyes and kept on walking to the wide window at the back of the office. Sometimes it was simply good to take in the view before heading to work and having to only be looking at the screen.

She watched each of Lena’s Personality Islands and then noticed something new. She turned around to tell the others, only to find Sadness ruminating over which of Anger’s red ties she should wear today.

_Ugh!_

“Guys! Hey, over here! Lena’s getting a new island you guys!” She called them over.

Immediately the other three walked over to the window to watch. Disgust was right, the construction guys were starting to build something new.

“I’ll call and ask what it is.” Fear said as she headed to the phone on the side of Anger’s part of the console.

“Hi, excuse me. We’re all over here at HQ wondering about the new island that’s being built.” Fear asked.

“What?” The guy at the other end of the phone asked her.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” Fear raised her voice.

“Yes I can hear you just fine. You don’t have to yell lady!” The guy replied with an annoyed voice.

Fear’s eyes bulged. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell… we just wanted to know about the new island…”

“Kara’s island?” The guy asked for confirmation.

“Oh so… it’s an island for Kara then?” Fear’s voice came out in a high pitch.

“Yeah! Haven’t you heard? Lena’s crushing on Kara. I thought you guys up there knew everything about Lena.” The guy complained.

“I mean… we know everything important there is to know, but not _all_ of it of course.” One of Fear’s hands was shaking now.

“They told us that the solution for these so called _palpitations_ would come from that island… so we started to build it last night. We’ll continue the work once Lena wakes up in about eleven minutes.” The guy commented.

“In about twenty one minutes actually, Lena’s going to get ten more minutes of sleep this morning.” Fear explained.

“Huh? How about that, maybe you do know important things!” And with that, the guy hung up.

“Well that was just rude!” Fear complained as she hung up the phone as well.

Everybody turned around to face Fear.

“So a Kara island… Lena must be really smitten then.” Anger wondered aloud.

“God knows that I am.” Sadness voiced out.

“Maybe this is a good thing… Maybe Kara can make Lena ‘happy’” Disgust said the last word with carefulness.

You see, all of the emotions had heard about happiness, but either it was something made up in order to sell books and movies… or maybe it was real and Lena’s got lost or something.

It was a touchy subject to say the least because, each and every one of them felt very insecure about never being able to make Lena truly happy.

They could make Lena laugh of course… sort of in a mocking, evil or nervous way. They could make her passionate about something… or perhaps that was just being petty, but for some reason or another, they could not make her happy like they showed in human movies.

“Happy?” Sadness asked almost in a whisper.

“Yeah I mean… why not? Maybe this is it.” Disgust replied.

“No! Lena’s already happy. She has a career, a good friend, hobbies. We’ve done more than enough for her.” Fear said with frustration.

“We’ve done everything in our power. I think she’s already happy.” Anger concluded.

There was no way that Lena was happy. There was no way that the only jokes that came out of her mouth were fabricated by an emotion that was supposed to keep her safe from food poisoning. The others could not see it because they do not know what it is like to carry the weight of Lena’s supposed 'charm', but there _had_ to be something missing.

“Guys… there’s something I need to share with you.” Fear started. “There’s a reason why Lena needs those extra ten minutes of sleep.”

The other three emotions gathered in a semi-circle to hear Fear out.

“Last night, I woke Lena up- I was so nervous about the entire date with Kara and I just- I _needed_ to know.” Fear said to the room.

“Know what?” Anger asked.

“Whether it is possible to sprain a hand hitting someone’s shoulders.” Fear replied in a whisper.

 _Oh_.

“She said she goes to the gym… I believe her, there’s nothing else to it.” Disgust defended.

“We all felt it Disgust. It was like hitting a wall…” Sadness interjected.

“So what? You did a little research or something?” Anger crossed her arms across her chest.

“Yeah… and well… whilst muscles do get tougher if you work out a lot and do a lot of weights, it’s not normal to sprain a hand with the kind of punch we gave her.” Fear started to explain. “Lena watched all of these videos of people hurting their hands because they punched somebody’s torso and… they’re all really big hit, with a lot of strength.”

“I didn’t put that much strength into Lena’s punch… it was supposed to be playful.” Anger justified.

“Exactly. Lena was not supposed to get hurt.” Fear agreed.

“Then what? What does it all mean?” Disgust rushed to the conclusion.

“I don’t know… but, now that Lena’s crushing on this woman- I think we need to be extra-careful. She’s hiding something and we have to protect Lena from getting hurt.” Fear resolved.

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll be careful.” Sadness agreed.

“Now… we only have ten minutes, please eat something before work.” Fear instructed everybody.

* * *

Lena woke up suddenly as she usually did. It was 5:10 in the morning meaning she overslept. Then she ate as fast as possible, cried a little bit in the shower, yelled at traffic as she rode her town car and then got to work.

All the usual things.

By noon she received a text message from Kara.

**[Kara Danvers]**

**Wanna come to my apt and watch a movie?**

“No! no no no no… there’s no way Lena’s going into enemy territory.” Fear yelled at the screen.

“Okay but, wouldn’t this be a good way to get intel on Kara?” Disgust reasoned.

Fear calmed down and looked to her left at Disgust. “You’re right.”

“Okay then it’s a yes!” Anger fist-bumped the air and pulled down her lever.

**[Lena Luthor]**

**7pm?**

**[Kara Danvers]**

**Sure! I’ll text you my address.**

“She replied instantly! She was waiting for us…” Sadness said dreamily.

“What is up with you?” Fear asked Sadness with annoyance.

“She kissed Kara… and so did I… and let me tell you it felt amazing. You should try it sometime Fear.” Anger interjected.

“I can’t… you know that Lena lets out these scared little pecks every time I’ve tried to kiss someone.”

Disgust sighed in defeat. She could not kiss anybody either.

“Still… who knows, maybe Kara will like scaredy-cat little kisses. She did say that her favorite photo was Lena frightened by pigeons!” Anger countered.

Fear’s eyes teared up at that. “You really think so?”

“Stranger things have happened.” Anger concluded.

“Let’s call Sam and tell her everything that has happened. I miss her.” Fear suggested.

“Let’s!” Sadness said with enthusiasm.

“Okay, but don’t tell her everything all at once. We need to create a compelling narrative. I want her to know that we’re cool and interesting.” Disgust spoke directly to Fear.

Fear nodded in understanding and then pushed down several button and got Lena to call her best friend.

“Hey you, it has been a while… What’s up?” Sam answered the call.

“Last night I went out with that reporter and it was a date and we kissed.” Lena let out in one breath.

Disgust dropped her head on the control panel.

Fear was hopeless.

“I know, I know… I just couldn’t help myself.” Fear lifted both of her hands up in self-defense.

“Whatever!” Disgust lifted her face from the console and rolled her eyes.

Sam let out a chuckle. “Good for you Ms. Luthor! Are you really into her or is it like all the other times: You’re more into the fact that _they’re_ the ones into you?”

All of the emotions at HQ stood still.

“She’s lying! It wasn’t like that with Melissa!” Anger belted out.

Disgust shook her head in disagreement. “It’s always been like that with everyone Lena’s ever dated.”

“It’s my fault… I just- I get so insecure that no one will love her that-” Fear started.

Sadness put her arms around her shoulders and interrupted her. “We’re a team, okay? We triumph and fail together.”

Fear nodded in acknowledgement and then gestured for Sadness to answer Sam’s question.

“I’m really into her. I’ve- I’ve never felt like this before.” Lena confessed.

“It makes me really happy to hear that Lena.” Sam replied with nothing but sincerity. “When are you seeing her again?”

“Tonight. She invited me to her apartment to watch a movie.” Lena spoke in a soft tone.

“I see… try to pay attention to what she’s wearing. If it’s too casual then she’s not looking for sex, but if she’s actually dressed up… she might want to take you to bed. Are you ready for that?” Sam asked in a serious tone.

“What?!” Fear felt herself going away into unconsciousness and then Disgust slapped her with her one good hand.

“Get it together! We’ve done it before and we can do it again!” Disgust reprimanded her.

Fear shook Disgust’s slap off and got to work.

“You really think so? We only started dating yesterday. Isn’t it too soon?” Lena asked with worry.

“All I’m saying is that her clothes are gonna let you know what’s up. Pay attention.” Sam concluded.

Fear covered her face with her hands. “Oh God, Lena did not shave in the shower this morning!”

“That’s on me… I made her have one of those good cries instead. My bad!” Sadness raised an arm in self-blame.

Disgust felt like puking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is... Joy!
> 
> (She's fun you guys, I hope you'll like her).


	5. Joy: Part I

After every little interaction and happenstance in Lena’s life, a memory was produced. Physically, this memory came in the form of a sphere that would travel down from headquarters to be stored in Lena’s brain. Another important characteristic to mention about these spheres is their color. Depending on how Lena feels, each orb will be painted purple, green, blue or red. In addition, if Lena’s experience involved a mixed emotion, then the orb would show two colors instead of just one.

Anxiety for example was blue and purple.

Hatred, on the other hand was red and purple.

Self-loathing was blue and green.

And so on…

Sometimes one of the memories was just too important, and instead of going down to be archived, it remained in headquarters inside a glass case just behind the seats at the control panel. These memories were called _Core Memories_ and all of them represented something of the utmost importance to Lena as a person.

There were six of them total.

The first one was Lena as a small child watching her mother drown. Its colors were blue and green. Lena blamed herself for her death.

The second one, was the moment Lena moved into the Luthor’s house and met her brother and new mother. It was purple. Lena was not ready to start out in a new family.

The third one was about Lillian. It depicted a very particular moment when she had taken Lena’s Teddy Bear, Miss Pizzly, from her. Its color was the most beautiful of blues.

The fourth one was Lena wining the science fair when she was only six years old. Its color, a glorious red.

The fifth one was the memory of Lena in her freshman year of college telling Sam that she was a lesbian and Sam accepting her. It was all kinds of colors: Blue, green, purple and red.

Last, but not least, was a strange-looking sphere, it showed Lena as a baby and her mom making plane sounds with a spoon in order to feed her. This sphere had always been there, ever since Fear could remember, but the color- it was bright as a light and none of the emotions could attribute it to themselves.

Fear tended to these memories carefully. Sometimes they would get dusty and Fear would always makes sure to clean them up with all the tenderness in her heart. They were, after all, what made Lena who she was.

Of course, there was the occasional time that Fear found herself cleaning these spheres for no apparent reason other than pure neuroticism.

Like right now, as Lena knocked on the door to Kara’s apartment.

“Get your ass back in here! You’re supposed to be our commander!” Anger yelled at her.

Fear was hyperventilating. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Two hours prior to this, as they let Lena shave her legs while taking a bath in _automatic_. Fear had called for an emergency meeting.

The four of them went to a conference room where there was a round table and sat together for a meeting.

“The target is Kara Danvers.” Fear started in a business-like tone. “Twenty eight years old, 5’8’’ and approximately 120 pounds.” She kept listing. “Blonde hair, blue eyes and has some sort of vision deficiency.”

She took a breath and just kept going.

“Raised in Midvale, allegedly goes to the gym but we don’t know which one, recently became a reporter at CatCo Worldwide Media with an annual income of 55,000 dollars and has a sister working for the FBI.”

Suddenly Disgust raised her hand to ask a question and Fear stopped talking and gestured for her to speak.

“Sorry, do you happen to know her sister’s eye-color?” Disgust asked, looking around the room with complicity when Anger and Sadness started laughing.

“They’re brown. Anything else?” Fear answered in all seriousness.

“What’s her name?” Sadness interjected with her own question and all three of them continued with their laughter.

Fear answered with gravity once again. “Her name’s Alexandra Danvers.”

After the laughter died down, Fear continued.

“Kara Danvers is adopted and we don’t know anything about her birth family. What we know is that her adoptive father died under unknown circumstances and her adoptive mother is still alive and a scientist living in Midvale.” Fear finished, taking a few breaths to rest.

“And you learned all of that when you made Lena research her in the middle of the night?” Sadness inquired with incredulity.

“No. I’ve been cyber-stalking her for a while now. Last night I only researched about hand injuries due to punches.” Fear responded.

“So _that’s_ why you wanted to keep _dream watch_ so often during last week.” Anger reasoned.

Fear nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Okay, so now what?” Disgust just wanted to make this meeting as brief as possible and not feed anything else into Fear’s paranoia.

“Now we do reconnaissance. We go in there and investigate! Our main objective is to protect Lena.” Fear raised her shoulders as if what she had just said was the most obvious thing in the whole world.

“And how exactly are we supposed to do that?” Disgust asked her with incredulity. They were not CIA agents or MI6 spies.

“We catch her in a lie.” Fear explained succinctly.

“Fear I’m sorry, but it feels like you want Lena’s relationship to fail…” Sadness observed.

“On the contrary! I’m making sure that it _doesn’t_ fail.” Fear said.

Disgust scoffed. “So what? We’re gonna play twenty questions with her?”

“Now we’re talking!” Fear exclaimed excitedly.

* * *

As Lena got on her town car and went to Kara’s, Fear got more and more nervous, until she simply had to take out the core memories and dust them.

Once Anger had reprimanded her, she returned to her seat. Her legs were shaking, her hands were sweaty and her heart was beating a mile a minute.

“I’m so excited you guys! I wonder what her apartment looks like.” Anger commented as Lena waited by the door.

Fear looked to Anger at the end of the row on her left. All of the emotions looked exactly like Lena, with a few adjustments here and there to their clothing; like Anger loving ties and Disgust wearing a vest underneath her blazer or Sadness letting her hair down.

To see Anger’s facial expression showing such excitement was quite something. If Fear could help make Lena look like that, maybe all of this dating courtship thing was more than worth it.

Then the door opened and there stood Kara.

“Remember to pay attention to what she’s wearing!” Disgust reminded everyone.

Fear pulled down a control that made Lena look at Kara’s entire outfit.

She was wearing black slacks, a beige sweater and a light pink button-up shirt underneath. She looked as if she was about to go out.

“Oh God!” Fear screamed in terror.

“Maybe this is actually dressed down?” Sadness wondered.

“No, this is dressed up alright!” Anger countered with excitement.

“Whatever it may be, we’ll ponder on it later, right now we need to focus!” Disgust reminded the team.

“Okay okay. I’m taking over for the moment.” Fear indicated.

Kara looked at Lena up and down. “Hi! Oh my God you look amazing! I’ve never seen you in jeans before. Come on in!” She stepped aside and let Lena in.

As Lena walked inside Kara’s apartment, Anger stood up from her seat and leaned in to look closer at the screen. “This is actually pretty nice.” She commented.

“Not too shabby.” Disgust agreed.

“It feels homey.” Sadness followed.

Kara lived in a studio apartment. There was a dining area and a living room and kitchen all in the same space. Off the side of the living room, there was a door which probably led to Kara’s bedroom.

Kara then closed the door behind Lena. “Listen, there’s something I need to tell you, but I actually just got here myself so… could you give me a moment so I can get changed and then we can talk?”

Every emotion looked to the other not knowing what to expect.

Fear then pushed a button.

“Sure no problem, I’ll just uh-” Lena looked around, not knowing where to sit.

“Gosh, I’m a horrible host! Please sit.” Kara gestured to the couch. “Can I get you something to drink? Wine? Oh, I actually bought a bottle of scotch, would you like that?”

When Lena walked past Kara, Disgust perceived a particular smell.

“She smells like smoke.” Disgust voiced out what she had perceived.

Fear frowned in confusion, but nonetheless guided Lena over to the couch.

“Maybe she smokes?” Anger wondered out loud.

Disgust shook her head in disagreement. “She doesn’t smell like cigarettes or even a cigar. She literally smells like smoke from a fire.”

Fear carried on in spite of the comments from her colleagues.

“I’ll have the scotch, thank you.” Lena answered.

Disgust then placed her hand on top of Fear’s. “Why don’t we just ask her about it? You said our mission is to catch her in a lie…”

“O-okay yeah, let’s give it a shot.” Fear agreed.

“Kara, before you go change… I noticed that you smell like smoke. Are you a smoker?” Lena asked.

Kara just stood there by the kitchen counter with a bottle of scotch in one hand and a filled glass in the other, like a deer in the headlights.

Sadness started full on crying. “She’s lying to us about something! I mean just look at her!”

“How could she?! We trusted her.” Anger said with outrage.

Then Kara lowered the bottle and approached Lena over on the couch, glass in hand.

“That’s actually what I want to talk to you about, but please let me change first.” Kara then gave Lena the glass of whiskey and left through the door by the living room area.

Anger stood up from her seat. “What the fuck is going on?”

“I have no idea… like literally no idea.” Disgust replied.

“She kills people and then burns them to cover up her crimes!” Fear shouted, she then started to hyperventilate. “We should leave while we still can!”

Disgust was starting to lose her patience. “Calm down! Everything’s fine. Kara’s not a pyromaniac murderer.”

Lena remained seated, her hand shaking involuntarily.

“Let’s just drink… it might help.” Sadness suggested.

“Okay okay yeah, it might take the edge off.” Fear agreed as she pressed a button.

Lena in turn took a sip of her drink.

“I hate waiting.” Anger whined.

Nobody replied to her comment and instead they all sat there with their thoughts.

Sadness thought of Kara wanting to break things off with Lena and how painful that would be.

Fear thought of some stories about Jack the Ripper Lena had read about a month ago.

Disgust thought of the smoke and wondered whether Kara was a volunteer firefighter, then that thought made her think of Kara in that particular uniform, with the big yellow pants with suspenders and Kara wearing nothing else but those pants.

A shiver ran down her spine.

Anger instead was not thinking about anything in particular. Mostly she just wondered about how much longer would Lena have to wait.

“Sorry I made you wait… But you’re right I did smell like smoke and I felt kind of gross about that.” Kara explained.

She was now wearing jeans like Lena and a simple dark blue comfy sweater. 

Anger sighed with exasperation. “Okay, this better be good.”

Kara sat right next to Lena on the couch. She smelled like soap and shampoo. No way she had taken a shower in just a few minutes! Plus her hair was not wet.

“Okay. Umm- I’m telling you this because I trust you and because I think we could have something here and I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.” Kara started.

Inside Lena’s mind all of the emotions were sitting on pins and needles.

“Remember yesterday, when you hurt your hand punching me?” Kara looked sheepishly to Lena’s now greenish hand.

Anger scoffed. “How could she even forget?!”

Fear made Lena nod in order to answer Kara’s question.

“Well, I told you I go to the gym a lot and stuff and… that’s not exactly the truth…” She continued.

Sadness and Anger reacted immediately.

“She lied to us!” They both said in very different tones. One with resentment and the other as a lament.

“You hurt yourself because” And then Kara took off her glasses. “I’m Supergirl.”

Everybody stayed silent.

And then a second passed.

And another one.

And just one more.

“WHAT?!” Fear screamed at the screen.

“Oh my God!” Anger literally took off her blazer and threw it at the screen. “GET. OUT. OF HERE.”

Disgust felt herself nearly faint… “This is so amazing!”

“It is! This is crazy!” Anger agreed.

Then they noticed Sadness resting her body on the console and just weeping.

“What’s wrong?” Fear asked her. “Lena’s safe! Kara’s literally the epitome of a good guy.”

Sadness lifted her face and wiped some of her tears. “It’s so beautiful. I can’t even.” She continued crying. “Lena’s crushing on a hero.”

Fear smiled softly at Sadness and gave her a comforting hug. “I’m just so happy that Lena’s safe.”

Anger and Disgust were also hugging in celebration and soon enough the four of them were forming a group hug.

“I love you guys.” Anger yelled between happy tears.

“I love you too, so much.” Sadness said, her make-up completely ruined because of all the crying.

“We hit the jackpot so good! So good- aahhhhhhhh!!! I can’t believe Lena has kissed Supergirl!!” Disgust cheered.

Fear was also crying as they all hugged.

It was a beautiful moment for all of the emotions.

Then Fear disentangled herself from the pack as she watched a bright sphere coming out and rolling.

“Guys! Guys! Look.” Fear pointed at the sphere.

The other three emotions turned to look at the new sphere in awe.

“It’s yellow.” Anger observed.

They all watched it roll and roll and then, instead of following the path over to the archives downstairs, it veered over to the path of core memories.

“It’s a core memory! Oh my God it’s a core memory!” Fear shouted in surprise.

“We haven’t had one of those in years.” Disgust commented.

Once it arrived to the glass case, all of the emotions gathered up around it to look closer.

Their faces were now all pressed against the glass in utter bewilderment.

“What does it mean? What does it all mean?” Sadness wondered out loud.

“It means it’s a happy memory!” A voice from behind them answered.

They all turned around to find another Lena standing in the middle of HQ.

She was wearing a ponytail and a yellow suit, but unlike all of the others, she did not have a button-up shirt underneath, but a white silk camisole.

“Who are you? Fear asked this new- new emotion…?

“I’m Joy.” She responded chirpily. “Now, if you guys will excuse me.” She put on a big smile, moved a chair to the center of the control panel and got to work.

Both Sadness and Disgust looked at each other completely baffled and Anger was seething with rage.

She sat on the commander seat like it was nothing.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Fear demanded to know.

“Why my job of course!” Joy winked and smiled.

“Oh no, I don’t think so missy! I’m the one that sits at the center of the control panel. I steer this ship, I always have!” Fear saw spit coming out of her own mouth when she finished the last sentence and quickly looked over to Disgust- who was in fact recoiling with revulsion.

Joy ignored Fear and instead pressed some buttons on the console and it suddenly opened up from the middle and the keyboards of a piano appeared.

Then she started playing it.

The music was melodious and cheerful.

The other four emotions looked up at the screen, behind the face of Kara Danvers there was a body mirror and they all watched in amazement as Lena smiled the most beautiful of smiles.

“She’s so beautiful.” Anger voiced in a whisper.

“She is.” Sadness agreed.

Fear let herself contemplate just a little longer. Lena was laughing now. She had never been able to make Lena laugh like that. A surge of jealousy ran down her chest and nested in her belly.

Sadness, Anger and Disgust, went over and sat on their usual seats to the right and left of Joy.

Fear looked around, feeling impotent as she reluctantly took the chair farthest to the right.

“How did you do that?” Disgust, seating to the left of Joy, asked her.

Joy looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Do what?”

“How did you make her smile and laugh like that?” Disgust specified.

“I dunno… I just play and it comes out like that. Lena’s happy and she should get to express that, don’t you think?” Joy’s fingers moved skillfully across the keyboard and the lovely melody continued to echo across the room.

Joy then looked back to the screen as she continued playing.

Lena was hugging Kara now as she continued to smile that striking smile. “You have no idea how happy you’ve made me.”

It was Lena who had said those words, but the tone of her voice was so different, it sounded lighter and livelier.

Kara smiled back. “I had no idea you would take the news so well.”

“Okay, not gonna lie- I didn’t believe you for a second when you said that I sprained my hand because you go to the gym a lot!” Lena laughed at her own admission and Kara joined her.

“I know, I know… that was so stupid!” Kara said between laughs.

Then Lena took a breath to calm down before continuing. “But yeah I mean, I went into this spiral of paranoia. Like you wouldn’t believe! Full on paranoia!” She let out another chuckle.

“Oh my God!” Kara smiled. “And what did that brilliant brain of yours come up with?”

“Okay okay, hear this out.” Lena started. “Wait! You have to promise not to laugh.” She warned, lifting up a finger in Kara’s face.

Kara lifted one of her hands and then crossed her heart with the other one as she said: “I promise not to laugh.”

“You better not!” Lena playfully threatened her by using her finger to gesture slicing her own neck.

Kara nodded and covered her mouth with both of her hands.

“I thought you were a murderer that burns her victims!” Lena confessed.

Kara let out the biggest of laughs.

“You promised!” Lena pushed Kara playfully as they both laughed together.

Kara continued laughing. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She took a few breaths to calm down. “You thought I was a murderer and still decided to come to my home?!”

“No well, I thought you were a murderer when I smelled the smoke on your clothes… Before that, I was just confused and suspicious.” Lena explained herself.

“Anyways,” Lena spoke. “now you must understand why I’m so happy. You’re like- the complete opposite of a murderer!”

Kara slapped her knee as she started to laugh again.

“I’m just- gosh, I’m so relieved and just- just- so _happy_. I can’t believe I’ve kissed Supergirl!” Lena said in complete amazement.

Kara pulled Lena closer to her. “And you can kiss her again.”

As they kissed, the music in HQ came to a crescendo.

Anger, Disgust, Sadness and Fear all watched flummoxed as Joy moved her fingers in quick fashion, the melody reaching its glorious climax.

The passionate gorgeous music touched each of their hearts and somehow they all realized that they felt a pure and pleasant bliss.

Nobody had ever seen Lena like that. She was playful, lighthearted, funny and easygoing. She knew when to touch Kara’s shoulder as she spoke, just to get her attention in a flirty sort of way.

Her voice was high-pitched, but not in an annoying way- it was just feminine and sexy. She was just so charismatic. Not to mention the things she had said, she was self-deprecating yes, but all in good fun… not in a way that made it awkward for people to hear, plus she was sincere without being sappy. Her laughter was genuine and pleasant, it demanded attention and invited the other person to join all simultaneously.

And that smile, that gorgeous smile none of the other emotions had ever been able to pull off.

Lena was beautiful to the point of painful.

Joy had showed them that.

And as Joy played the last remnants of the song, Sadness noticed that there were tears on her own face and turned to her right to hold Fear’s hand.

After the last note. Joy got up from her seat and vowed solemnly to the other emotions.

“I’m gonna go rest now. I’m extremely tired.” She said in a soft sleepy tone.

The other four emotions nodded nervously.

Joy waved goodbye, just before disappearing through the hall that led to each of their rooms.

Anger then stood up from her seat, both of her hands touching her head in complete shock. “What the fuck was that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Joy, she's overworked and underpaid.  
> Actually, they all are! It's time to form a union!!!  
> #PowerToTheEmotions
> 
> Oh! and here's some drawings from the amazing sango-blep, that sort of inspired how the emotions look.
> 
> Fear, Anger and Sadness:
> 
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/4cdbb234e0a0bc74d73772666be237de/tumblr_prv7fr9O131r6agiko4_400.png
> 
> Disgust:
> 
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/19e9084590b04634d26ce2117f045171/tumblr_prv7fr9O131r6agiko3_1280.png
> 
> Joy:
> 
> https://66.media.tumblr.com/44943376bb8ccdc50d899891ab65c2fd/tumblr_prv7fr9O131r6agiko8_1280.png


	6. Joy: Part II

At the bottom of Lena’s brain there was an endless dark pit.

This pit was the place where things went to when Lena forgot them.

Hundreds of thousands of memories laid there. Things Lena would never again recollect or think about.

Memories of her early childhood, people she had only talked to once, novels with too intricate plots and food dishes she had eaten all over the world.

Most importantly of all, at the bottom of that pit laid dreams Lena had once yearned for.

As a child, Lena had dreamed of drawing the best circle ever on a piece of paper.

She had dreamed of putting bright yellow flowers on her bike’s basket.

Dreamed of discovering a secret world just behind her eyelids.

Now these dreams, as small as may they seem, were long forgotten.

Sadness found this the most despondent place in the whole world.

She thought there was nothing sadder than being forgotten, neglected… left behind.

And even though she consciously knew that Lena was faultless in all of this—because after all, it was only human to forget—she still somehow resented her for it.

She thought about all of this as she sat in the conference room with the other four emotions blabbering about what had just happened regarding Joy.

They had left Lena in _automatic_ , watching a movie with Kara and now here they were, losing their minds.

“Where did she come from?” Fear asked the room.

“I don’t know, but I hope she stays.” Disgust had commented.

“Did you see Lena? She was so happy!” Anger exclaimed.

“Yeah, it was so amazing!” Disgust agreed.

Fear groaned. “But where has she been all this time? Why wasn’t she here with us from the beginning?”

“Who cares! All that matters is that Lena is finally going to be happy!” Anger dismissed with elated glee.

“Perhaps she was forgotten or lost somewhere in Lena’s brain?” Sadness interjected.

“What do you mean?” Fear asked for clarification, her eyebrows were lowered in pure and unmitigated concentration on Sadness’ words.

“I mean that… what if she got lost somewhere in Lena’s brain or what if she fell into the pit and was long forgotten?” Sadness tried to elaborate.

“If that were the case, then how did she make her way back to HQ?” Disgust questioned.

“I say we just- get back out there and do our work and worry about all of this come tomorrow morning.” Anger suggested.

“That’s probably for the best, it’s no use speculating- it’s just plain depressing me to think about all of this.” Sadness admitted.

“Still, please be careful. We don’t know where she came from or what she wants.” Fear warned the group. “Now, let’s go back to work.”

“Kara, I want to thank you for sharing your secret with me.” Lena’s eyes shone with candor as she was about to get into her town car.

Kara, having accompanied Lena downstairs, looked sheepishly to the floor before replying. “I’m glad I told you.”

“Okay Sadness, bring it home- just give her a little goodbye kiss and then get in the car.” Fear requested.

Sadness nodded, but a sudden realization made her do something else entirely.

“About my brother…” Lena started.

“That’s between your brother and my cousin. It has nothing to do with us.” Kara reassured her.

Lena averted her gaze in thought.

Disgust groaned in exasperation. “What are you doing? Why did you have to bring that up right now? The night was going to end on a high note!”

Sadness shrugged. “I don’t know- I just, it seemed right to at least mention it.”

“Just keep going Sadness, say goodbye.” Fear encouraged her.

“We should talk about it at least.” Lena responded.

“We will.” Kara placed a hand on her shoulder, comforting her.

“Goodbye.” Lena leaned in and kissed Kara, she could feel her eyes watering.

“Bye Lena.”

* * *

That night, Fear, Anger and Disgust could barely sleep. They were too excited or nervous to re-meet Joy the next morning.

Sadness kept dream watch.

Fear knew she at least got two hours of sleep before waking up at around 4:20 in the morning. She brushed her teeth and then dressed herself. Turns out that Joy ended up choosing Anger’s room to sleep and thus, Anger decided to sleep in Sadness’.

Fear knocked on Disgust’s door just to make sure that she was ready to start the day.

“Be out in a second!” Fear heard Disgust shout through the door.

Then she went to Sadness’ room and did the same.

“I’m up! I’m up!” Anger guaranteed.

Last but not least, she went over to Anger’s room.

She knocked two times to no answer.

Then she knocked two more before shouting. “Good morning! Hello?”

The door opened and there stood Joy in a beautiful yellow sarong wrapped around her body.

“Hi. Everything okay?” Joy asked between yawns.

“Hello. Are- are you getting ready?” Fear asked her.

“Uh… ready for what?” Joy seemed confused.

“For work of course! We start in like half an hour.” Fear informed her.

Joy turned her head to look at a clock on Anger’s nightstand. “In half an hour it’ll be five in the morning, Lena starts work at nine.”

“Yeah, but we don’t want her to be late for work.” Fear explained, before realizing that by now all of the other three emotions were behind her in the hall, watching their interaction.

“If Lena gets up at five, then she’ll be ready for Frank to drive her by six at the very latest… that means she’ll be at work at six thirty.” She then looked to the side in thought. “That’s two and a half hours before her job starts.”

“That’s what I’ve always said!” Anger whispered, but not quietly enough since everybody heard her.

“Y-you’re right, but- we can skip so much traffic this way. That way is impossible to be late.” Fear insisted.

“She’s not skipping any traffic, most school-related jobs like teachers and staff have to be at work by seven before the kids get there. She’s gonna be in traffic with those people. In fact, Lena owns a helicopter, she could take that to LCorp instead of the car.” Then Joy grabbed the door and started closing it. “Why don’t we do that instead? Yeah? Okay, nice talking to you. See you in two hours!”

Just when she was about to close the door, Fear placed the foot in the way to stop it.

“You don’t get it. It’s very important for Lena to get up this early. She gets to read through everything and study before all of her meetings, that preparation is important.” Fear tried once more.

Joy stopped at that. “Does she have any meetings today?”

“Uh- no, not really. Today’s mostly about working on a project downstairs at the lab.” Fear admitted.

Joy opened the door even more and pulled Fear in by the arm, before closing it.

“What are you doing?!” Fear fixed her disheveled blazer in a panic.

“I’m saving you from embarrassment.” Joy explained succinctly. “Listen, I’m not gonna lose two more hours of sleep only because you’re crazy and... to be honest, this conversation is only hurting your authority with those people out there.”

“So what’s the big idea?” Fear asked nervously.

“We’re gonna compromise. Lena’s not gonna get up at five like you want her to, nor at seven like _I_ want her to, so we’ll do six instead. What do you think?” Joy offered.

Fear stopped for a moment to think. Lena would be at work by 7:40, perhaps even 8A.M. because of traffic. No way Lena was risking her life in a helicopter.

“Deal.” Fear extended her hand and Joy slapped it away before throwing herself in Fear’s arms.

“I’m so happy you saw things my way.” Joy exclaimed excitedly as she hugged Fear.

“I didn’t see things your way… We both compromised.” Fear argued as she let go of Joy.

“To-mAY-to, to-mAH-to.” Joy replied succinctly.

Joy then took off her sarong only to show a beautiful white silk nightgown underneath. “Now, please let me go back to sleep.” She threw herself on the bed and lifted the covers up to her neck, closing her eyes peacefully.

Fear was left stunned. She recovered after a beat and left the room.

Upon opening the door, she hit Sadness on the face. Disgust and Anger were right behind her looking sheepish.

Managing to step fully outside, Fear closed the door behind her and stood authoritatively in front of the other three.

“Lena’s going to wake up at six from now on.” Fear informed the others.

The other three blinked blankly at Fear.

“Okay.” Disgust was the first one to say something.

“Yeah okay.” Anger agreed.

“I’ll just go back to dream watch then.” Sadness commented before turning around and walking down the hall.

“Hey, by the way…” Disgust started. “The construction team called. They said they’re ready to build Joy’s room as soon as Lena wakes up.”

Fear nodded. “T-that’s good.”

“It is! I kind of want my room back, you know?” Anger stated with annoyance.

“Did they finish Kara’s island?” Fear asked.

“Yup that’s pretty much done, come and see.” Disgust indicated.

Anger went back to sleep in Sadness’ room, as Fear and Disgust continued down the hall until arriving back at HQ.

“It’s quite splendorous.” Disgust remarked as she and Fear continued walking over to the big wide window at the back.

Fear looked down and saw Kara’s island over to the far left side. It literally had a giant rainbow on it where a animatronic-like doll of Supergirl would fly through.

“Now tell me if that isn’t the gayest thing you’ve ever seen!” Disgust commented.

“That’s pretty gay yeah.” Fear agreed.

Underneath the giant rainbow there was a huge garden with beautiful flowers of all sizes and colors. Fear could distinguish little children with flower-crowns dancing, playing and flying kites. It looked like some age-of-Aquarius-thing on steroids. There were also butterflies and small things made of light that would swirl around each other and on the corner there was a quaint little wood cabin. Lena and Kara lived there and were currently making out on the porch.

“Jesus Christ!” Fear exclaimed.

“I think the kids are not random at all, but are actually their children.” Disgust commented. “They get right to business up there in that cabin.” She said with mirth.

Fear laughed at that. “I think it’s cute though. It means Lena has big hopes. Even though thinking about children right now sounds completely terrifying.”

“She does have big hopes, come look at this.” Sadness called out to the other two, her voice whimper-y and soft.

Fear and Disgust turned around.

Up on the screen Lena was dreaming that she was flying with Supergirl through an endless starry night sky.

“She has it so bad! It’s so _gross._ ” Disgust commented with a huge smile on her face.

Fear looked at the screen and for a moment, felt really excited for Lena and her future, but then she could not help thinking about not wanting to let her down.

They needed to work together to get her that dream.

They just _had_ to.

* * *

By six, all of the emotions were present and accounted for.

On her part, Joy said hi to everybody with a hug and a kiss on the cheek as if she was European somehow.

Anger loved it.

Disgust just went with it.

Her hug with Sadness lasted just a tad too long.

And when it came to Fear well, it was awkward to say the least.

After that, Joy went to sit in the middle of the console as she had done once before.

“I sit there! You know this.” Fear positioned herself between Joy and her seat.

“Oh… well I mean, where will I sit then?” Joy asked with confusion on her face.

“You can sit next to sadness.” Fear responded.

Without the console being expanded because of Joy’s keyboard, it was not big enough for all five of them to fit.

They all crammed up together as best as they could, but now both Anger and Joy—seated at each end—had very little of the console to work with.

“I don’t like this.” Anger exclaimed.

“I don’t either.” Joy seconded.

Fear let out a sigh. “Just- we’ll manage, okay? The construction guys are busy right now building a room for Joy, but after they’re done I’ll ask them to expand the console.” She tried to appease the two emotions.

“Okay whatever, let’s just start.” Disgust pushed.

Fear nodded and went to push a button, but before she could press it, Joy pulled down a lever right on the edge of the console.

They all looked to the screen.

Instead of instantly jumping awake with a scare, Lena got up slowly, stretched and yawned with calmness.

“God that was one of the best sleeps of my life.” Lena commented out loud to no one in particular.

They all looked to Joy in astonishment.

Joy smirked and winked, lifting one of her hands up to her mouth with the gesture of a gun and the blowing on it as if she had just hit a bullseye out there in the Old West.

“R-right, umm… let’s just go and have breakfast.” Fear instructed the team.

Joy leaned back on her chair and put her hands behind her head for support, her feet going up to rest on top of the edge of the control panel. A smirk still on her face.

Sadness looked to her with a shy smile and in response Joy clenched her eyes closed in a playful way, and then threw a kiss her way.

Sadness smiled wider at that.

Fear controlled Lena and got her to eat an energy bar as quickly as possible along with a smoothie.

“Shouldn’t she eat more?” Joy questioned.

“No, her intake for the morning should be around 400 calories and both of these things supply that. Plus the smoothie is made entirely of vegetables, so she’s getting all of the proper nutrients.” Fear responded.

“Oh okay… I don’t know, it just seemed like a sad breakfast. No offense Sadness.” Joy placed a hand on Sadness’ shoulder and rubbed it up and down with affection.

Sadness blushed at that. “None taken.”

“It’s more than adequate.” Fear insisted.

“Okay well, if you say so…” Joy conceded.

Fear let out a frustrated sigh. All of the other emotions kept watching their interaction from side to side, as if it were a tennis match.

“Sadness, you can take over now for Lena’s shower.” Fear decided to simply move on.

Sadness nodded and got to work.

She made Lena undress and then get under the hot water. After a few moments, Lena started crying.

“Why is she crying?” Joy questioned once again.

Sadness turned to her right in order to respond. “Well, you know how life gets you down sometimes? It’s like that for Lena. You know? because of all the things she has gone through with her mothers and her brother… and her father too.” She tried to explain to Joy.

Joy nodded and placed a hand on top of Sadness as she pulled down one of her beloved switches. “Go ahead, pull one down again.”

As Sadness pulled down the switch with Joy’s hand on top of hers, Lena stopped crying.

Suddenly Sadness reminisced about Lena’s life and where it was going. She thought about her work and the projects she wanted to complete, she thought about Lena’s mother in a _what if_ sort of way. Her ruminating was not as sad anymore, but still thoughtful and with gravitas.

“What was that?” Sadness asked in astonishment.

“It’s what you and I can create together Sadness: Melancholy, nostalgia, rumination.” Joy explained.

Anger and Disgust watched on with enraptured interest.

“Sadness likes for Lena to have a good cry in the mornings though…” Fear mentioned, breaking the moment between Sadness and Joy.

“No, no… I like this better.” Sadness negated Fear’s words.

Fear frowned in confusion. Sadness had always been very adamant about opening up a space in Lena’s routine for her to cry. They had even fought about it a few years back because Fear thought it was a waste of time and worried about Lena being late.

As a response, Joy smiled softly at Sadness and together they finished Lena’s shower.

After that, Lena needed to get dressed.

Disgust looked at the closet in thought and then made Lena go over to a pair of black slacks on the far right of the closet.

“How about a dress?” Joy asked.

“I don’t know, it’s kind of cold outside.” Disgust countered.

“Yeah but like… Lena just shaved her legs yesterday, she should get to show that off. Plus, she’s going to be indoors most of the time.” Joy reasoned.

“We usually just let Disgust do her thing… She knows best.” Fear interjected.

“No it’s okay, Joy’s right… Lena _just_ shaved her legs, she should get to have fun with that.” Disgust justified.

Fear was way more than confused now, they were in the middle of February. It was going to be really cold.

“Let me help then!” Joy pressed some buttons and lever on her side of the control panel.

Lena put on music on her phone and started dancing as she took dress after dress off of her closet and placed them on the bed to browse.

Then she tried a hot pink dress and then a white one.

“We need to hurry or she’s gonna be late!” Fear protested.

“I got it! I got it! How about the red one?” Joy dismissed Fear as she made Lena try the red dress.

“She looks sexy as hell so I vote yes, and not just because I’m partial to that color.” Anger commented.

“She’s going down to the labs today. It’s gonna be really cold.” Fear disputed.

“She can wear a coat and it’ll be alright!” Disgust argued.

Fear took in a deep calming breath. “Okay whatever, but make it quick.”

After Lena got dressed, Frank picked her up in the town car.

Sadness, Fear and Disgust all started to get up from their seats.

“What’s goin’ on?” Joy asked the three that were leaving. “Where are you off to?”

“We usually take a break for this and just let Anger do her thing.” Fear explained.

“Oh…” Joy nodded in understanding and got up as well to join the others.

“She just gets so loud, y’know? I low-key want to strangle her for it.” Disgust quipped.

Joy seemed confused at this and turned to observe Anger at her work.

“You fucking prick! You think you can just cut Frank like that? You motherfucker! Your mother probably wishes you’d never been born you little piece of shit!” Anger yelled at the screen.

Lena on her part was barely holding herself with clenched fists.

“You think I asked to be born into a world where I’m gonna be late for work because of a cunt-fuck like you?!” Anger kept on yelling.

Joy gaped at that. “Is it always like this?” She asked the other three emotions that were now eating muffins and drinking water or coffee.

“Every single morning, yeah.” Sadness answered after taking a sip of her water.

“It’s not your fault Frank. You’re just too good for this rotten world filled with imbeciles!! I fucking respect you Frank! I. RESPECT. YOU.!” Anger yelled between tears now.

Joy went back to the control panel and rested a cautious hand on Anger's shoulder. “Can I help?”

Anger frowned in bewilderment. “What?”

“Just- umm… here.” Sadness placed her hand on top of Anger’s and together they pulled down her infamous lever.

Lena righted herself in her seat, her fists unclenching.

Anger started thinking about how public transportation could improve traffic and that it was the right thing to do for both working-class people and the environment and suddenly, she felt outraged at the government for not providing this service.

“It’s not fair.” Lena suddenly said out loud.

“What Miss?” Frank asked her. “I couldn’t hear you properly.”

Lena sort of woke up from her trance. “N-nothing. Don’t mind me Frank.”

Anger was weirded out by the whole thing. “What did you do?” She asked Joy.

“I just helped you see the bigger picture is all.” Joy explained.

Anger let out a calming breath. “T-that… it felt good.”

Joy smiled with glee.

The rest of the day continued pretty much the same.

Joy would interject here and there around every task the other emotions performed, making Lena think more positively about every little thing.

She walked lighter now, with a little spring in her step and everybody down at the lab noticed as she singsonged melodies to herself during her work.

All in all, most of the emotions took Joy in stride.

All except Fear.

“Joy listen,” Fear started during one of their coffee breaks. “we’re holding a meeting tonight for you to introduce yourself to the team and talk to us a little bit about yourself.” She informed her.

Joy was taken aback by this. “Uh- okay… but I wished you had told me about it sooner, I could’ve prepared a dance number or something.”

Fear laughed at that, but upon noticing that Joy was not joking, she immediately stopped. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious.” Joy replied, annoyance laced her voice.

“Umm, right… Well I mean, you can still do it.” Fear tried to repair her previous shortcoming.

“You’re right!” And with that, Joy walked to the side of the coffee break room and started doing the floss dance right next to the fridge.

“What the…?” Fear wondered out loud in a whisper.

An hour later, Kara showed up with Lunch to Lena’s office.

Joy was galvanized into action. She made her way through Sadness to reach Fear and then sat on her lap.

In spite of protests from the purple-dressed emotion, Joy activated the piano in the middle of the console and started playing.

“Just hang in there, okay? This is important.” Joy said to Fear.

Fear was perplexed. No one had ever sat on her lap before, they had a strict zero-tolerance policy against sexual harassment in the workplace inside Lena’s mind.

Joy played a soft melody, with little components of playfulness scattered here and there that slowly but surely elevate the piece.

“Kara!” Lena got up from her desk and went over to the blonde woman, kissing her hello and then giving her a warm hug.

Kara was smiling and blushing, looking completely smitten with Lena.

“I got you a salad and some soup… I don’t want you to think that I don’t care about health just because I’m indestructible.” Kara quipped.

Lena laughed a playfully and took the bag from Kara.

Together they walked over to the couch and started eating.

“Thank you so much for coming! Lunch is so boring without you.” Lena complimented.

Kara gave Lena a little peck on her cheek. “Thanks for having me. I think your assistant is a bit weirded out about me coming here so often though.”

“She is?” Lena let out a chuckle. “I’ll be sure to tell her that we’re dating then. So that she’s not confused about you anymore.”

Kara was taken aback a little bit by that. “We’re dating? I mean- uh? Are you my girlfriend?”

“Of course I am!” Lena slapped Kara’s shoulder playfully.

“Great! That’s amazing!” Kara smiled all teeth. “I wanted to ask you yesterday night, but I don’t know, it maybe seemed like too much too soon.”

“No, you didn’t have to worry about that. I’m the type of person that goes all in or not at all, y’know?” Lena let out earnestly.

“That’s great. I um- I personally hate games and all of that _playing hard to get_ stuff, so I assure you that we’re on the same page.” Kara clarified.

Lena leaned over and pressed her lips to Kara’s. She heard a little gasp of surprise coming from the other woman and it only served to encourage her to deepen the kiss.

“Damn, she’s so good at that.” Anger commented about the kiss, Disgust, seating right beside her, nodded in agreement.

“We have a girlfriend!” Sadness cried out, tears streaming down her face.

“We sure do!” Joy winked at her, still sitting on Fear’s lap as she played.

After she was done with the piece, Joy sank back against Fear… who had to hold her up so that they would not fall off of the chair.

“Are you okay?” Disgust asked her.

“I’m fine… I’m just tired.” Joy let out a yawn. Then she stood up and stretched her arms with another yawn. “I think I’m going to bed, you guys.”

And with that, she left through the hall.

“Joy!” Fear called out. “It’s only noon and the construction team is still building your room.”

Joy returned, she walked slowly and her shoulders sagged. “They’re all in there working, I can’t even get to Anger’s room.”

Fear got up from her seat and immediately went to her. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Joy then fainted in her arms.

Sadness, Anger and Disgust gathered around Fear and an unconscious Joy.

“I can’t believe she’s just… like low-key out of commission all of the sudden.” Disgust stated.

Fear sighed. “Help me put her on the couch in the coffee-break room.” She requested Anger.

The both of them carried her over to the couch and placed her there. Anger took her blazer off and covered Joy with it. The colors red and yellow clashing with each other on the dark-blue sofa.

“What now?” Sadness asked with worry in her voice.

“Now we go back to work. Lena still needs us.” Fear said with firmness.

All four emotions went back to the control panel and carried on.


	7. Lust & Found

Anger cared a lot about what was right. In fact, sometimes that was all she ever thought about.

What was wrong with everybody? It simply was not that hard. There was right and then there was wrong. People just needed to choose right every time, that was all.

Do I help out or do I not help out?

I help out.

Do I lie or do I tell the truth?

I tell the truth.

Do I do my best for Lena or do I half-ass it?

I do my best.

“Wake up! Lena needs you!” Anger shook Joy, trying to wake her.

It was night already and Lena was in the middle of a phone-call with Kara that was getting a little steamy.

“C’mon! You flirt better than Disgust!” Anger continued to shake her.

Fear placed a hand on Anger. “Leave her alone, she needs to rest.”

Anger turned her face to look at Fear. “She’s the best out of all of us. Why is she sleeping?”

“Anger, she literally fainted in my arms. Something’s clearly wrong with her and she _needs_ to rest.” Fear insisted.

“Guuuuuys, she’s asking Lena what would she do if they were together right now!” Disgust yelled all the way over from the control room.

Fear and Anger ran back as fast as they could.

“You know I can't have sex, there's no intimacy if I do it! Plus Sadness will turn it into a crying fest and Anger is just too intense for phone sex. I think this one's on you chief.” Disgust announced.

Anger placed her hands on Fear’s shoulders. “You know what we have to do, right?” Her eyes were starting to get red, but not because she was mad, but because she was determined.

Fear nodded, her eyes just as determined as Anger’s. “We’re gonna have to play it _insecure_.” She stated with resoluteness.

Fear pulled out her chair and sat down. All of the other emotions moved to stand behind her.

“You got this! You got this Fear.” Anger started rubbing Fear’s shoulders.

“Well I’d… you _know_.” Lena answered Kara’s question.

The thing about Lena in these situations is that she would get pretty hot. Literally.

And after having spent the whole day feeling cold because Lena decided to wear a dress in the labs, it just felt like this whole day was filled with extremes.

“Well, you know what I’d do if I were right there in bed with you?” Kara said in a soft whisper.

That question alone increased the temperature in HQ like 5 degrees in one instant.

Everybody started to take off their suit jackets. As for Anger, who was already only in her button-up shirt, she took off her tie and rolled up her sleeves.

Fear wiped the sweat off her brow before pressing a purple button at the center of the console.

“What would you d-do?” Lena asked shyly.

All of the emotions waited expectantly for Kara’s answer. Anger, anticipating that it was about to get even hotter, started to take off her shirt, leaving her only in a white camisole.

“I’d be kissing your neck right now, probably sucking a little bit on it too.” Kara said in a breathy voice.

It did get even hotter.

Sadness asked Disgust for a hair-tie and tied her hair up in a ponytail.

The other thing about Lena feeling aroused was that it made it really hard to think.

“Oh God, we need to lower the temperature. Right now!” Anger shouted.

Fear was beginning to feel the pressure on her. “I’m getting there, don’t rush me!” She screamed back at Anger.

Then Kara hissed “Would you like that?” She asked Lena.

Disgust lifted her hands up in the air. “Yes!”

Even with all the twists in her stomach, Fear managed to pull down a lever.

“Y-yes, I think I’d like that.” Lena answered.

Anger continued rubbing Fear’s shoulder’s. “You’re doing so good. Just keep going, keep it going.”

Sadness could not take it anymore and took off her shirt as well, leaving her only in a light blue camisole.

Kara continued. “Then I’d lick you all the way up to your ear.”

Fear gulped. She wiped more sweat from her forehead and continued her work.

“Answer her! Answer her!” Anger yelled right in Fear’s ear.

Fear was just about to faint, but she pushed a blue button just in time.

“T-that sounds nice.” Lena let out in a lower tone.

“Yeah? I’m glad you think so.” Kara answered her.

Anger was really feeling the heat now. “We can’t take this anymore!!! Where’s the damn pressure valve?” She asked in frustration.

Fear panicked. “I just don’t think Lena’s there yet! Sadness, you need to check if Joy’s okay! We- we just have to hang on a little longer and everything will be alright.”

Then Kara outright asked Lena: “I’m touching myself, are you?”

Red lights went on and off in the room and suddenly an alarm started to sound.

“It’s coming! Get ready guys!” Fear instructed.

Anger and Disgust ran over to the front of the control panel. A cylinder-shaped object was rising from the ground. On top of it there was almost like a big steering wheel with a knob for controlling it and underneath, on the side of the metallic cylinder, there was a pressure valve with a small red handwheel.

“Anger, you’re on crank duty! Disgust get ready to open the valve!” Fear ordered from the commander’s seat.

Anger grabbed the knob on the steering wheel and got to cranking.

Then Fear typed up at the console.

“Yeah...” Lena answered in a small voice as one of her hands travelled down to get under her pajama shorts and underneath her panties.

“Keep a steady rhythm Anger!” Fear warned.

“Yes chief!” Anger yelled as she continued to crank the knob.

The emotions were all sweat now and as the red lights and alarms invaded all of their senses, it got harder and harder to concentrate.

They all needed release.

“I want you so bad Lena!” Kara moaned.

“Crank faster!” Fear ordered.

Fear was losing all of her bearings now. She stood over the console and supported herself on one arm as the pulled down a lever.

“Me too Kara! Me too!” Lena said in a small whimper.

Kara continued to moan over the phone.

“Crank to the rhythm of her moans Anger. Do it now!” Fear ordered in a rush.

Anger was all sweat and muscle as she cranked up the steering wheel with all her might.

Then a light went off near the pressure valve.

“Do it now Disgust!” Fear shouted, nearly losing consciousness now as she held onto the chair for balance.

Disgust turned the small red hand wheel and water started to sprinkle on top of them, almost like a heavy rain.

Anger lifted her hands up in the air. “We did it! We did it!” She went to hug Disgust in celebration and lifted her up in her arms, turning her in circles under the rain.

Disgust craned her neck back, letting the rain fall directly on her face as she expanded her arms. The rain felt like sweet relief on her skin, cooling down the temperature.

Fear fell back on her chair, gasping for air.

Everything was getting wet now and the temperatures were dropping.

“Did you just come?” Kara asked Lena.

Fear chuckled and pressed down on a big blue button.

“I d-did yeah…” Len answered her.

“You’re so hot Lena, I can’t wait to do this with you for real.” Kara confessed.

That nearly gave Fear a heart attack. The sprinkles had stopped now and the temperature at HQ was back to normal.

“Disgust, please help me out with this.” Fear requested. “Anger put her down for Christ’s sake!” Fear laughed.

After Anger put her down, Disgust ran over to the other side of the console and pressed her delightful big red button.

“You won't have to wait much longer.” Lena was still trying to recover her breath as she said those last words.

“Anger, can you please call the janitorial staff so that they clean up this mess?” Fear got up from her seat as best she could, buttoning back up her shirt. “I’m gonna go check on Joy and Sadness.”

Anger nodded and then went over to the phone.

They picked up the phone on the other side just as Fear was about to enter the coffee-break room.

“Yeah hi! Lena masturbated again.” Anger explained over the phone.

Fear entered the break room to find Sadness fanning Joy with her shirt.

“I take it it went well? Sadness asked Fear.

“It did, yeah.” Fear answered. “How’s she doing?”

“She was here sweating so I took Anger’s blazer off of her and then I also took off her jacket… It felt wrong, but I had to do it.”

“So she hasn’t woken up or anything?” Fear inquired.

Sadness shook her head. “Nope, she’s out cold.”

Fear was too tired now to go into a spiral of catastrophizing and opted to simply help out Joy instead of freaking out. “Would you help me get her to her room?”

Sadness stopped fanning over Joy and went to grab her torso.

“On the count of three.” Fear indicated as she grabbed Joy’s legs. “One, two… three.”

Together they lifted Joy and carried her out the room, through the hall and into her room (which happened to be the last one in the corridor mind you).

Joy’s room was decorated with tones of yellows and whites here and there, there were a lot of pillows and throw blankets on the bed and over on a love seat by the wall, but what surprised Fear the most, was a collection of Sunflowers on several pots near the window.

“Wow.” Sadness commented when after the put Joy on her bed. “They really outdid themselves!”

“They did! Everything’s so bright a pretty.”

“Like her.” Sadness said with a smile. “I really hope she recovers soon. Lena really needs her.”

“I hope so too, but if this keeps happening, I’m sending her to the med bay.” Fear countered.

“Probably for the best.” Sadness agreed.

And with that they left Joy in her room.

“How’s it going over here?” Fear asked once she and Sadness reached HQ.

“Lena’s already asleep.” Disgust mentioned.

“Okay, all of you head to bed. It’s been a long day, get your rest. I’ll keep dream watch.” Fear indicated.

“The janitorial staff will come over in a few minutes. There are only a few left with enough energy though, what with Lena being asleep and all.” Anger informed her before ducking out for the night.

“Alright, thank you Anger. G’night.” Fear said.

* * *

“Joy! Joy! Are you awake?” Fear knocked on her door.

Joy opened her door. “It’s five o’clock in the morning, I thought we had agreed to wake Lena up at six.” Joy protested.

“Good morning to you too.” Fear replied. “Listen, we’re gonna go ahead and have that introductory meeting right now before you are down for the count again, okay?”

Joy perked up at that. “We are?!”

“Yup. So get ready and we’ll all meet you at the conference room, okay?” Fear instructed.

“Okay, gimme ten minutes. I’ll be right there!” Joy squealed with glee.

Anger, Sadness, Disgust and Fear all waited patiently seated at the conference room table. Since it was a round table, it was fairly easy to include a fifth chair without making it awkward and that somehow felt pleasant for Fear; knowing that at least there was something—albeit small or insignificant, like getting five emotions to comfortably sit on a round table—where it was seamless to accommodate Joy. It was as if, for some reason, this told Fear that Lena was in fact deserving of Joy and that everything would be alright in the end, even if they previously did not have enough rooms for her to rest or even if currently they did not have enough space at the control panel for her.

“Hi there!” Anger greeted Joy, the moment she walked in.

“Hi guys! I apologize for making you wait.”

Everybody said hi back with kind smiles.

“Listen Joy, just so that you know- last night I was able to request a bigger console to the maintenance crew so that we can all fit. So, it’s just a matter of time now, okay?” Fear informed the yellow-dressed emotion.

Joy beamed at that. “That- That’s great actually. Thank you so much!”

“Please sit and go ahead with your presentation, we’re all eager to know more about you.” Fear replied.

“I’ll stand ,if y’all don’t mind.” Joy did not even wait for anybody’s responses, before launching herself into a dance number.

She began on the floor with her legs pressed against her torso and then opened up suddenly and started to look around dramatically, as if confused. Then she turned and turned as if looking for something or lost. Not long after that, she started hopping to one side and then to the other. After a beat she ran in circles as fast as she could and then she did the floss dance-step before finally bowing down for applause.

There was only one problem with her presentation:

It was to a resounding silence; there was no music whatsoever.

Sadness was the first one of the group to applaud. Perhaps out of a misguided attempt at kindness, perhaps out of mercy, to make it all end the quicker. After that, the other three emotions clapped her hands awkwardly at best.

“T-thank you, thank you for that Joy.” Fear said still feeling thrown off by the whole thing.

Joy was breathing hard now as she continued to take bows and give out _thank yous_ to her audience.

“Hello to all of you.” She started between her panting. “My name is Joy and I am the emotion in charge of positive-thinking and all of the emotions that fall within the realm of positivity.”

“At my biggest expression, I can help Lena feel emotions like ecstasy, euphoria or complete elation.” Joy continued. “Humans often pursue these through artificial means like drugs and alcohol.”

Fear looked around the room, because honest to God this presentation was starting to get weird and she just wanted to assess everybody’s reactions, only to find the other three utterly enthralled.

“That’s understandable, since it does take me a lot of effort to produce such high-tear emotions through natural means.” Joy carried on with her explanation. “The emotion I embody, oftentimes works as a _reward_ you see and I can easily become addictive to the average human. Nevertheless, do not falter because it is possible for me to produce these in case of big events like achieving a personal goal, sex, falling in love or seeing your baby for the first time after giving birth.”

Joy then swallowed before continuing. “Other emotions I can help Lena feel are momentary happiness, excitement, contentment, satisfaction, silliness, pride, self-confidence or serenity.” She smiled widely. “these can be easily achieved by the average human through common activities like finishing a task, seeing a loved-one, meditation or even just reading a good book.”

“If I team-up with you guys, I can always give a positive spin to whatever it is that you do. I can turn fright into surprise, I can turn revulsion into curiosity or fury into righteousness. I want you to know that I’ll always help out. No matter what.” She smiled brightly at her audience.

All smiled back.

Joy then took a small pause before continuing. “Exercise and a good sleep are easy ways to activate me, much like hunger activates Anger. Ultimately, _love_ is my inspiration, journey and end-goal.”

Joy then took a deep breath. “I believe I am the _most_ important emotion of all and I also believe I can change Lena’s life for the better. I hope you can see this too and let me do my job as I know best.” She said this last thing without any malice or resentment, but instead with a matter-of-fact tone.

After that, she took a small bow and sat down with the other four.

“That was so informative!” Sadness patted Joy on the back.

All of the other emotions on the table seemed to agree with Sadness’ review.

All except Fear.

“Joy, thank you for that, but… we were going more along the lines of you answering questions such as _where did you come from? Where were you during all this time_? _Why do you always get so tired?_ and things like that.” Fear interjected.

Anger elbowed Fear after she was finished. Fear was taken aback by that, she was only asking what all of them really wanted to know.

“I- Didn’t you notice? I answered some of that with my dancing!” Joy countered.

_Oh._

“I’m so sorry, I just- I didn’t understand.” Fear defended.

Joy sighed in frustration. “Well, I guess that’s okay. It was only later that I realized that the music was only in my head…” She covered her face with her hands for a beat, before removing them to show a happy smile.

“Very well,” Joy started. “I came from Kara’s island.”

“What?” Anger shouted.

“Yeah, I just appeared there.” Joy restated.

“And before that? Where were you before that?” Fear asked her in a rush.

“I was… nowhere. All I remember is nothingness, darkness and cold.” She said with a shiver.

 _Oh_.

“Were you just born recently then?” Disgust asked her.

“I don’t think so. I remember being with Lena as a baby.” Joy answered.

“There’s a yellow core memory of Lena as a baby, that _must_ be yours.” Anger reasoned. “You have been here before in Lena’s mind, making her happy.”

“But why don’t we remember? Fear, you were here when Lena was a baby, right?” Sadness interposed.

“I was, yes… but I’m sorry I just don’t remember Joy being there too. I thought I had gone through all of that on my own until Sadness arrived later on.” Fear admitted.

“I don’t remember you either.” Joy said with frustration. “What’s going on? I hadn’t realized that me being here was so confusing! How come we're only talking about this already on my second day here!?” She asked, clearly upset now.

“Because we were working and you kept fainting!” Fear let out in frustration as well.

What if Lena’s first emotion was Joy and Fear had somehow ruined that? She thought she was keeping Lena safe and doing her best, but what if she was only causing her harm? There was no one in this world she loved more than Lena and just the thought of hurting her created a visceral pain in Fear.

“Everyone, please calm down. We’re a team, remember? We all just want to figure this out.” Sadness intervened.

Both Joy and Fear looked at Sadness ashamed of their little outbursts.

“Joy, why do you get so tired like that?” Disgust decided to simply move on.

Joy frowned. “Don’t you guys get tired too?” She was puzzled.

“Not like that. None of us faints the way you do.” Anger answered her.

This surprised Joy and it showed because she suddenly took a pause and averted everyone’s gaze.

“I d-” She sighed, sounding even more frustrated now. “I’m trying my best! I _don’t_ know why I get so tired, okay?” She said defensively.

Sadness went to place a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me, okay?” She exclaimed as she abruptly got up from her seat and exited the room.

“We’ve upset her.” Sadness stated the obvious out loud.

Everybody’s shoulders sagged.

“I’m afraid we have, yes.” Fear replied, her face lowered in defeat.

“Sadness, you think you could maybe…” Fear started to ask Sadness to go and talk to Joy to try to make her feel better.

“No Fear, I actually think you’d be better suited for that.” Sadness interrupted Fear before she could finish.

Fear sighed. “You’re probably right.”

Ever since being appointed as commander, Fear had endeavored herself into becoming the best pep-talker in the world. She was terrible at it—what with her mind always reeling with all of the negative things that could happen at any moment—but eventually she became more than adept.

You see, the trick was in blocking off all of her negative thoughts and instead trying to come from a place of love.

Lena was Fear’s biggest inspiration so, in the end, she got the hang of it.

“Joy,” Fear knocked on her door. “Joy, it’s me, Fear. Can I come it?”

Joy opened the door. She looked so dejected. “What?” She asked in a sad voice.

Fear had never seen her like this, it was quite jarring.

“I just came to see how you were holding up?” Fear gave her a half smile.

“I’m not holding anything up at the moment, I feel awful.” Joy responded as she walked over to sit on her own bed.

Fear took a few steps and entered the room. “We’re sorry. _I’m_ sorry. Me and the guys, we never meant to upset you. We were just curious about you.”

“I’m not upset with you guys. I’m just _ugh!_ I keep having these flashes of being in the dark and feeling cold. I feel like I lost something or someone and… I’m so scared that I don’t remember anything at all about my past.” Joy explained herself.

“It _is_ scary. Believe me, I know that. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like for you. There’s- there’s so much uncertainty now and that is certainly frightening.” Fear was literally trying her best here. “But if I learned something through the years is that, it _never_ stops being scary, but you still go out there and you trust your team and you try your best.” Fear’s voice faltered at the end.

“Because-” She managed to continue. “because that’s what Lena deserves: Our very best.”

Fear looked up to see Joy now standing before her. She had tears streaming down her face.

Joy hugged her and Fear embraced her back.

“We’re all here for you, I promise.” Fear realized that she was crying too. “And we’re gonna try to figure it all out, but if we fail- please know that you’re still part of the team. It doesn’t matter where you came from, what matters is that you’re here.” Fear spoke through her sniffling.

“Thank you.” Joy told her. “Thank you so much for saying that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading guys! 
> 
> I started writing this as a silly palate cleanser from my other story (What so Proudly We Hailed) because that suddenly turned into such a big thing and I felt so much pressure to finish it and finish it right.  
> But now, I think this is turning into its own little story with plot and mystery and heartfelt characters.  
> And I just have to say that it really surprises me what you can create when you let yourself have fun and take the pressure off of yourself to write "epic" things. 
> 
> Anyways, sorry about all the blabber! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	8. Intrusive Thoughts

The thing Fear was afraid of the most was not death. She thought being dead would most likely feel like nothing and believe it or not, she found reassurance in that. There was no way that feeling nothing would be scary because well, you could not feel anything whatsoever.

What she actually feared the most was failing Lena.

Failing Lena as bad as she had failed her when her mother died.

At the tender age of 4 years old, Lena Luthor lost her mother. She had been a beautiful and kind person and now… she was gone.

Needless to say, they all took a hit.

Fear could hardly get up in the mornings even though she barely slept during the night and everything in general just felt less bright as if she had lost her best friend and now realized that she was very much alone.

Anger was not well either. She would constantly burst up in flames or throw tantrums over little things, kicking chairs and punching walls. She remained mostly non-verbal all throughout and it was very difficult for Fear to get out of her own despair to try and help her.

The only emotion Anger would allow to get close, was Disgust. But she herself was also a mess, barely getting out of her room, not even to eat or shower. However, sometimes during the night, Fear would find Anger and Disgust seating side by side quietly and knew that they found solace in that.

Sadness fared no better, but out of all four, she was the only one that was strong enough to handle the controls.

This lasted for about a week and then Fear was kicked into high gear.

Lena was adopted by a man called Lionel Luthor and taken to a new house. She was to be a Luthor now and if hunger activated Anger and tragedy, Sadness, then it was the _unfamiliar_ that galvanized Fear.

Every single thing was new. From the carpets on the floor, to the lamps on the ceilings, but most importantly, the _people_ were new.

Now Lena had a _brother_ she had previously not known anything about.

And worse of all, she now had a new mother.

But this mother, this _person_ , she was nothing like Lena’s true mom. She instead was cold-hearted and mean.

During those months, only Fear and Sadness were able to handle the controls. Sometimes they could work together, but it was not pleasant. It was as if Sadness brought out the worst in Fear and vice-versa.

Fear felt humiliated as both a leader and Lena’s protector. Why was it that the best she could give Lena during such difficult times was anxiety attacks and nightmares? Lena deserved gentleness and kindness and Fear felt as if everything she touched, she ruined.

It was so hard though, because Fear could simply _not_ help herself, something compelled her to touch the buttons on the console. It was inevitable, unavoidable and ineffable all simultaneously.

That is when Fear knew true failure…

Because, what could possibly be worse than hurting the person you love and not being able to help them in any way?

 _Nothing_. Nothing could be worse.

And now, with Joy’s unexpected arrival, Fear felt as if she was about to fail Lena again.

“This is just to get the ball rolling. It might explain why you tire so easily. The doctors will tell us if everything is alright or not and we’ll go from there, okay?” Fear explained to Joy. They were both seated at the couch on the break room, with one doctor taking Joy’s emotion through a needle.

Joy nodded in understanding, but her eyes… her eyes showed something Fear knew so well: _terror_.

“It’ll be okay, I promise we’ll do everything in our power to make sure you’re okay.” Fear tried to comfort her.

“I know. I _trust_ you.” Joy closed her eyes for a few moments, as the doctor continued to take out a yellow liquid from her arm. After a beat, she opened them up with a big smile.

“Everything will turn out okay.” Joy stated with resoluteness.

Fear could not let anything happen to Joy. She was crucial for Lena and her life and dreams. Fear would die before not making sure that Lena was truly happy. Even if it pained her and filled her with so much rotten envy knowing that she would never be able to make Lena feel that way, not in the way Joy could.

The doctor finished up filling several vials with Joy’s emotions. She then shook both of their hands and left with the promise that she would soon call to tell them the results.

Two weeks passed.

Lena and Kara continued to date. On the first weekend of those two weeks, they went to an aquarium and for two hours Joy reluctantly worked with Disgust on the control panel and together they made Lena become the best conversationalist, asking all sorts of questions and making sure to read all of the signs with information about the fish.

It seemed that Kara found that curious side of Lena completely adorable so, overall, it proved to be a successful date, even though the team had to struggle a lot for that triumph.

After the two hours though, Joy again passed out.

Joy could hold her own if she pushed a button here and there or if she worked jointly with one of the other emotions, but it seemed to be really hard for her to help herself when it came to Kara.

That mid-morning, when Kara came to pick Lena up to take her to the aquarium, Joy once again made her way through Sadness in order to reach Fear’s seat. By now the control panel had finally been expanded to fit all 5 of the emotions.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Fear pushed against Joy as best as she could to try to stop her from sitting on her lap again.

“I. Have. To. Play.” Joy pushed back.

“Sadness help!” Fear called out as she tried to contain Joy.

Sadness immediately tried to hold Joy back by grabbing her by the shoulders.

Joy seemed as in a trance, she was unstoppable and the look on her face reminded Fear of how she felt when controlling Lena during those days after her mother’s death. Back then, Fear had felt that she just _had_ to touch the controls, it was _imperative_.

Joy probably felt like that right now as she tried to get ahold of her keyboard.

“Joy! Joy look at me!” Fear cupped Joy’s face. “You need to stop. Playing the piano depletes you completely and Lena needs you for more than a few minutes.” She tried to convince her.

In the end, Joy could not be persuaded and Anger ended up restraining her on her chair against her will, only letting her touch a few buttons here and there along with Disgust during Lena’s trip with Kara.

Joy was beyond upset, but after seeing that the date had been a success, she calmed down a bit and Anger let go of her so that she could go to her room for a few moments and finish composing herself.

Joy did not return, and upon checking on her, Sadness informed the group that she was out cold again.

Something was terribly wrong with Joy and Fear was obsessing over it.

She just needed to get the results, they must be able to tell them something about Joy’s condition.

Everybody else, however, was obsessing over something entirely different.

Sex.

More specifically, sex with _Kara._

In their defense, it was hard not to think about it constantly because during the day Lena would get what was called _intrusive thoughts_ , meaning particular files that came from the _train of thought_ that somehow, upon arrival to headquarters, would play themselves on the screen.

These thoughts would come at the most random of moments.

Fear could be working or studying something for Lena to present during a meeting and out of the blue, Fear was no longer observing a spreadsheet, but instead the image of Kara Danvers sucking on Lena’s breasts would play on the screen.

Fear had started to faint at least twice a day now.

As for all the others, this phenomena suddenly became some sort of _office_ _game_. Every time one of these thoughts would pop up, Sadness would serve everybody a shot of whiskey and they would all drink and laugh in celebration.

All except Fear.

Joy was the worse of them all though.

She would force Fear to replay the thought at least once, even though it made the temperature in HQ rise to uncomfortable levels without any hope of the pressure valve ever showing up because freakin’ Lena was in the middle of freakin’ _work_.

And to add to the nightmare, everybody had stopped wearing their blazers to work.

All except Fear.

Sadness at least wore a vest, but her hair was now up in a lazy bun all of the time.

Anger decided that since she could no longer wear ties, she would wear red suspenders instead with her light pink button-up shirt.

Disgust looked plain slutty with her shirt unbuttoned so much so, that they could almost see her bra. _Almost_.

Joy again, was the worse one of them all because she started wearing bright yellow dresses instead.

The dress code had become nothing but a joke to all of them!

At nighttime it got no better.

 _Dream Productions_ , the place in charge of Lena’s dreams, had turned into a pornographic film studio.

And do not misunderstand, sometimes Fear thought that it was very sweet lovemaking what they showed up there on the screen between Lena and dream-Kara.

It made her heart ache for Lena and her need for tenderness and affection.

Other times though… other times it was plain _graphic_. So much so that Fear had stopped keeping dream watch because she hated to think about getting a concussion from passing out cold and no one being there to help her.

Sadness, Disgust and Anger started to keep dream watch _together_. (Joy was always asleep of course, since she could never take in a full day’s work).

As per usual, Sadness would bring a bottle of scotch and they would drink and basically watch porn together.

Not to be too harsh of them of course because, in a way, they were all Lena and whatever Lena loved or wanted, they all loved and wanted as well.

So yeah, Kara Danvers turned them all on.

Even more so if the dream involved Kara in her Supergirl suit.

But Fear knew how to control herself, how to remain respectable… the others instead all seemed on their way to a hedonistic frat party each night.

Lena had never had it this bad with any of her past relationships. This was new territory.

Fear did not know what to do, she felt as if she was losing control of her team.

One thing was obvious though, Lena needed to have sex.

But it had proved impossible for a reporter/crime-fighting superhero and the CEO of a Fortune 500 company to coincide for a night of passion. And Kara was such a gentleman that it was plain _frustrating_. She wanted to take Lena out, she wanted to wine and dine her instead of rail her against a wall.

Suffice it to say, it had been two very difficult weeks.

The second weekend of those two weeks Lena and Kara could not see each other.

And thus, a _third_ difficult week started.

“It’s been two weeks already, why isn’t the emotion-work ready?” Fear was currently speaking on the phone with the doctor that had taken samples of Joy’s emotion to examine.

“We have never examined anything like this before. We’re not sure what she’s made of. So far, we've only identified a chemical called dopamine, but we don’t know anything else about other components she seems to be made of. We’re currently researching through Lena’s brain, trying to build a framework in order to better study the samples. It’s gonna take us a while.” The doctor explained.

Fear raised a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration before letting out a sigh. “Please let me know as soon as you know something, _anything_.”

“Yes commander. You’ll be the first to know.” The doctor assured her.

And with that, Fear hung up the call.

And even though it was obvious that they were all about to face a difficult week, what categorically put the final nail in the coffin was a call Lena had received that very Monday morning.

“Lena, how are you?” Her mother asked her.

Everybody at HQ was freaking out.

Anger banged her fists on the control panel. “Why did you answer her?!”

Disgust let out a frustrated sigh. “You know how she gets if we don’t answer. It’s useless! Better take the band-aid off right away.”

Fear clenched her hands in fists, she was shaking with nervousness. “Anger, please take over for this.” She requested.

Anger beamed at that. “Yes chief!” She saluted Fear with earnestness and the grabbed her lever and pulled it down.

“What do you want mother?” Lena countered with hostility.

Anger fist-bumped the air. “That’ll show her!”

Fear nodded in approval. “You’re doing good Anger. Keep it going.”

Lillian gasped as if offended. “Here in prison I get very little phone privileges, and I choose to use them on you my dear daughter.” She accused Lena of being ungrateful, without even having to explicitly say it.

Suddenly, Anger fell down through the floor, chair and all. All that was left was a dark hole where she used to be and the echo of her scream.

Joy jumped in fright. “What just happened to her?!”

“She’s just going on a little guilt trip right now… Don’t worry, she’ll be back.” Disgust explained as she stared at the hole completely unfazed.

“Does this always happen?” Joy asked a follow-up question.

Fear answered instead. “Usually Anger is the easiest out of all of us to guilt trip. Disgust and Sadness can hold on a little longer and I’m immune to it.”

Then Joy opened her mouth again to ask another question.

“And before you ask," Fear interrupted her. "I’m immune to it because I’m already filled with guilt.” 

Sadness then placed a hand on Fear’s shoulders. “I thought she would give us a little break before doing that, we haven’t heard from her in two months.”

“So did I… But it seems she’s not getting any rustier hold up in that prison.” Fear replied and the looked to her left. “Disgust, you’re up.”

Disgust nodded and then pushed down her extravagant big red button.

Lena started answering in a fake-sweet tone. “Thank you mother, but I never asked you to call. Now, if you please would…” Then she took a pause to clear her throat before continuing. “What do you want?” Her tone shifted completely, now it was somber and harsh.

“I want you to visit me.” Lillian answered in the same tone as Lena’s.

“I’ll think about it.” Lena responded with an intonation in her voice that clearly expressed the exact opposite.

“That’s all I ask.” Lillian replied coldly.

Joy was more than confused. “What even is this interaction?”

“This is how they say _I hate you_ to each other.” Sadness explained concisely.

“Finish the call.” Fear ordered.

Disgust pushed three yellow buttons in succession.

“Goodbye mother, don’t waste your next phonecall on me.” And with that spiteful remark, Lena hung up the phone.

Fear let out a breath she had been holding. She was utterly terrified of Lillian and always struggled trying not to show it in front of the other emotions, fearing that her feelings would trickle down onto the others.

“That’s as good as that could’ve gone.” Fear patted Disgust on the back, congratulating her.

“When will Anger be back?” Joy wondered out loud.

“Any minute now, don’t worry.” Sadness tried to appease her.

Literally the moment Sadness was done answering Joy’s question, Anger resurfaced through the floor.

Anger looked around as if confused and then turned to Disgust and grabbed her by the collar. “We’ve been so unfair to Lillian! She kept a roof over Lena’s head for _years_ ; she clothed her and fed her. Where would we be without her?” She shouted at Disgust.

Sadness leaned closer to Joy in order to whisper: “Being guilt-tripped brainwashes you a little bit. She’ll go back to being herself tomorrow morning, don’t worry.”

“H-how did she get brainwashed?” Joy asked, feeling very timid.

(All the while Fear was trying to get Anger to let go of Disgust).

“The trip takes you to memory files about Lillian- they are good memories only though and it confuses you about what reality actually is.” Sadness continued to explain.

“Ohh.” Joy said in surprise. “That sounds harsh.” She figured.

“They don’t call it guilt-trip over nothing.” Sadness agreed.

* * *

Kara was able to visit for lunch on Thursday.

She entered Lena’s office with a big brown bag in hand, wearing a cute light blue cardigan and brown slacks.

“She looks amazing.” Sadness commented with a dreamy sigh.

“God look at her shoulders, look at those biceps, look at her tight little pants.” Disgust fanned herself.

“And she smells so nice too. I fucking adore this woman!” Anger shouted at the screen.

“And the way she looks at Lena with those big blue eyes and that smile! I’m melting!” Joy exclaimed as she again made her way through Sadness in order to get to Fear.

“Stop it! Stop it!” Fear tried to slap Joy’s hands away before she activated the piano.

Sadness was trying to hold her down too, but Joy was nothing if not a fighter.

“Lena needs you long-term, she doesn’t need a little Mozart concert and then _nothing!_ ” Fear insisted as she pushed Joy away.

“But I have to play! I just have to. Kara’s here! Look at her, she’s so beautiful!” Joy persisted.

By now, Anger had gotten up from her seat and was also struggling to keep Joy away from the console.

Disgust looked at the scene for a moment and then turned to look at _you_ the reader with a ‘can you believe this shit?’ sort of look.

Then the green-dressed emotion took over the controls herself.

“Long time no see.” Lena told Kara, right before hugging her hello.

Kara went for the kiss, but Disgust made Lena take the brown bags from her hands quickly and walk over to the white couch at the back of her office.

Kara frowned in confusion, but resolved to let it go.

“I know! I’m so sorry we haven’t been able to see each other that often. There’s this lunatic alien-hating guy out there on the streets, with these weapons and stuff… so my whole week has been impossible.” Kara explained.

Lena opened the bag, there were two sub sandwiches and two beverages. “Listen, you’re not going to hear me complain about you being out there saving the world. I’ll take what I can get.” Lena replied.

(Mind you that all of the other emotions were still struggling to keep Joy at bay).

Kara laughed at Lena’s way of phrasing that. “And on that note…” She began to say as she scurried closer to Lena on the couch.

“Can I see you tomorrow night? You could come over and I’ll cook for you… there’d be wine, candles…” Kara’s voice shifted to a lower tone now.

Fear, Sadness, Anger and Joy stopped their movements the moment they heard that.

“Slap me!” Fear yelled at Sadness. “I feel like I’m about to faint, slap me right now!” She insisted.

Sadness slapped Fear right across the face as hard as she could.

Fear recoiled in pain, but nonetheless remained conscious. "Thank you." She patted Sadness on the shoulder affectionally.

On her part, Disgust unconsciously unbuttoned another button on her shirt before answering Kara.

“Count me in.” Lena answered with a smirk.

Anger started jumping up and down. “Lena’s gonna get laid! Lena’s gonna get laid!”

Then Joy, with a swift move, literally jumped on top of Fear and got on the console, typing away as fast as she could and activating her keyboard.

All at once: Fear tried to restrain her, Sadness went to grab her arm and Anger tried to pull her back from the shoulders.

Joy fiercely elbowed Fear in the stomach, savagely punched Sadness on the face and brutally buttheaded Anger on the nose with the back of her head instead of her forehead.

All three emotions were down for the count.

Disgust looked at the whole thing in horror.

After that Joy well, Joy simply started to play.

Her melody was not cheerful or exciting like the previous ones. On the contrary, it was slow and almost filled with melancholy, but also could be interpreted as sentimental or romantic.

“Kara,” Lena took one of Kara’s hands and kissed it. “thank you so much for inviting me to your home. I’m very much looking forward to it.” She then leaned in a kissed Kara’s cheek gently.

Kara blinked slowly in response. “I uh- uh- it’s- it’s my pleasure Lena.” She stammered out.

“Ever since I met you, I think of myself as the luckiest woman on the planet.” Lena smiled softly at Kara, her green eyes shining brightly.

Kara was left stunned. “I- I feel the same way Lena. You’re- you’re so special to me. You’re kind and smart and just _good_. You’re such a good person Lena.” She said, trying to match Lena’s intensity out of the great sense of respect and devotion she felt.

Lena leaned in and embraced Kara. “It makes me so happy to hear you say that.”

And after a beat.

“I’m so excited. I really haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I should be thinking about my projects and my meetings and all of that, but I instead find myself fantasizing about your blue eyes.” Lena confessed through a blush.

Kara gulped a little bit upon hearing that.

“I just- I just want to make you feel so good Lena. You should be worshipped.” Kara then started kissing Lena’s neck.

Back in HQ, the temperature was rising, but it did not feel hot in a way that was painful or even made you sweat. It felt warm in the way love in your chest feels warm. It was all-encompassing, yet pleasant.

Disgust looked at Joy in awe.

Her music continued beautifully, the notes echoing all around the room, creating a harmony for the song.

Kara continued kissing around Lena’s neck and jaw, and upon reaching her lips, the kiss turned from passionate to sweet and careful; almost as if Lena’s lips were too fragile for Kara to kiss.

Disgust felt something warm in her cheeks and realized that she was crying.

When the melody was about to reach its ending, the kiss ended.

Lena and Kara were now sitting side by side, holding hands with interlaced fingers and with Lena’s head resting on Kara’s shoulder.

They were both happy.

Joy fell to the ground on top of an unconscious Sadness.

Disgust carried on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! <3


	9. Fight or Flight

Lex and Lillian were totally like low-key Satan and his spawn.

Except that Disgust was not so sure as to which one was which.

Some time ago, when Lena was about 8 years old, Lex had like- tried to kill Superman and instead had massacred hundreds of people in a terrorist attack.

Lillian was like- also into the same thing, trying to kill aliens off.

It was totally crazy.

Lena was nothing like them. She had actual _morals_.

When Lena was adopted by the Luthors, for a moment Disgust thought that perhaps it was gonna end up being a good thing, you know? Because Lena would get to have a family again.

But boy was she wrong. Those people were nothing but psychopaths and none of the emotions wanted anything to do with them.

Lena did not get to spend that much time with Lionel, her adoptive father. Truth was, she barely knew him. Still, apparently the guy was nothing but corrupt and like- totally had dealings with the criminal underworld and stuff like that.

It was plain and simple: The Luthors were evil. 

And if there was something all of the emotions agreed on, was that it was like- a really good thing that Lena was actually adopted and not related to them in any way.

Even so, Lena’s last name was still Luthor and with her father gone and both her mother and brother in jail, the family company was now in her hands.

This proved to be one of those blessings in disguise.

Lena would work to turn things around and she and her company would become a force for good.

The Luthor name would no longer represent murdering maniacs, but innovation, technology and hope for the future.

And Lena Luthor herself would be known as the bright young woman that did it all.

But Lena was only going to be able to do all of that if she survived these explosions first.

Lena laid on the floor after a thunderous sound. She got up on her knees and looked around.

Fires were everywhere and people were screaming and asking for help.

That Friday morning, Lena had been with Frank on her way to a meeting down town when they saw an explosion up ahead. Traffic stopped and both decided it was best to get out of the vehicle and start running away.

She and Frank ran as fast as they could along with hordes of people with the same idea.

Back in HQ, Fear was going into a catatonic state. “How are we gonna get out of here? We’re doomed. We’re done for. It’s over.” Her eyes were looking in every direction and her body was stiff as a board.

Then another explosion came, but this time closer. Lena felt her body being thrown off into the air and as she fell onto the ground, she scraped both of her knees.

Fear, who had been handling the controls during the entire ordeal was now completely paralyzed. All of the other emotions did not know what to do. Anger was vomiting off to the side and Sadness could not stop crying into Joy’s shoulder.

“Fear do something! You need to do something _now_!” Disgust yelled at Fear’s face, but it was as if Fear could not hear her; her eyes remained blank and her mouth was quivering.

Out of the blue, an alarm went off and a string fell from the ceiling. Attached to it there was a small syringe.

Disgust quickly yanked the syringe off of the string and then stabbed Fear with it.

Fear went unconscious on her chair and after a beat she woke up gasping raucously for air. Her pupils now dilated as she was galvanized into action.

“What did you just do to her?” Joy asked in a rush.

“I injected her with cortisol! It makes her snap out of it!” Disgust answered her quickly.

Fear pushed two purple buttons at the same time and then pulled down a lever.

The console opened up from the middle and a violin appeared along with its bow.

Joy looked on in surprise.

Fear grabbed both objects and started playing the instrument.

The melody Fear played was very high strung and fast-paced. She moved her torso like a maniac from side to side in quick succession as she motioned the bow up and down the strings of the violin, her fingers moving just as rapidly on the neck of the instrument.

Lena got up and looked around, trying to find Frank. She saw him laying on the ground a few feet ahead. And she ran to him as fast as she could.

“Frank!” She grabbed his torso and turned him around. The side of his chest, over by his ribs, was bleeding now and Lena pressed both of her hands on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

“Miss Luthor, just leave me here! You gotta keep running!” Frank said to her between grunts of pain.

“I am _not_ leaving you!” Lena assured him.

Fear continued playing, the melody both erratic yet methodical. Her eyes were closed as she played and both Disgust and Fear looked on in astonishment.

“Help!” Lena yelled into the street. People were running past her left and right. It was utter chaos and upon realizing that no one was coming to their rescue, Lena took off her white button-up shirt and tied it as tight as she could around Frank’s torso.

“You’re gonna be okay, you hear me?” Lena, now only in a camisole, told Frank. “Now get up! Get up Frank, we gotta get out of here!” She positioned Frank’s arm around her own shoulders and helped him get back up on his feet.

Together they started walking in the opposite direction of the explosions.

Sweat drops started going down Fear’s temple as she continued to play, the melody never slowing down.

“Lena!” Supergirl suddenly stood before them.

“Take Frank please! Help him! He’s badly hurt!” Lena exclaimed.

Supergirl nodded, then she took Frank and flew away.

Lena ran, she ran as fast as possible. People were pushing each other in order to escape the commotion and Lena was trying her best not to succumb to the human stampede.

Someone pushed her against a building’s wall. Lena hit her cheekbone.

All of the emotions in HQ cried out in pain.

All except Fear.

Disgust brought a hand up to cover her face. It was a searing pain and for a moment, Disgust was afraid that perhaps Lena had broken something.

Fear kept playing her fast-paced melody, as if nothing had happened.

Lena stood there facing the wall, both of her hands pressed against it as the stampede of people continued to run past her.

“What are we gonna do? What can we do?” Joy yelled in a panic.

The melody stopped.

Both Disgust and Joy turned to look at Fear.

She was no longer holding the bow against the violin, but off to the side yet still on her hand, as she started plucking the strings with her index finger, playing pizzicato.

Lena crouched down and took off her heels, then she threw herself into the crowd and kept up her pace with everyone else’s, running barefoot.

Her face still burned with pain, but she kept on running. The explosions were getting nearer and nearer now.

Fear then changed back to playing her instrument with the bow, the melody thundering through the room.

And Lena ran.

Suddenly, Lena was up in the air, National City nothing but a miniature landscape.

Kara was holding on to her and flying her somewhere safe.

“Hold on, I’m gonna go really fast now.” Kara warned her and then covered Lena up with her cape.

In less than a second, Lena was left standing on the balcony of her apartment, at the other side of town.

Kara was gone.

Lena fell down to her knees. The side of her face felt really warm so she brought a hand up to touch it, only to realize she was bleeding.

After that, Lena started puking.

Fear stopped playing and then plummeted down to her knees as well, gulping for breaths of air.

Disgust and Joy ran to her side.

“Are you okay?” Joy asked Fear, now kneeled down right next to her and with a hand rubbing her back.

Disgust slapped her hard on the back instead. “You were such a badass out there!” She congratulated.

Fear started coughing through a smile at Disgust. “I was only doing my job.” She answered through gasps.

Lena was safe and that was all that mattered.

On their part, Anger and Sadness were now on the floor puking and crying respectively.

* * *

“It was this alien-hating guy I told you about. He calls himself Agent Liberty." Kara then sighed with frustration. "He found a secret hideout for Alien refugees and just started using this- _ugh!_ this weapon that I'm really frustrated about because it causes so much damage.” She explained later that night over a home-cooked meal.

Before going to Kara’s apartment, all of the emotions ganged up on Joy and tied her to her chair in order to prevent another violent incident from happening.

Fear was handling the controls instead.

“I see. That sounds horrible. Still, I can't thank you enough for getting Frank to the ER, you saved his life. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Lena told Kara.

Kara leaned closer to Lena and caressed the bandage on the side of her face with sorrow. “I was so scared when I couldn’t find you amongst the crowd. I know this may sound creepy, but I’ve memorized the particular sound of your heartbeat and that’s what helped me find you.” She confessed.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Lena averted Kara’s gaze with shyness.

“I learned it unconsciously actually.” Kara let out a chuckle. “I don’t know… I must really like you I guess.” She looked to Lena with pure sincerity in those striking blue eyes.

Fear panicked. “Guys! Guys! Hold on to something quick!” She anticipated a _palpitation_.

She had been right.

Everything started shaking and all of the emotions tried to hold on to something as best they could.

“Let me go!” Joy yelled through the commotion. “Let me go! I can help! I know what to do!”

They all looked to her in confusion and then Fear quickly ran to her and untied her, only to fall on the ground and hit herself.

Joy sprang into action, slapping the side of the console as you would an old T.V. that was losing its signal.

Sadness frowned in disbelief. “That’s- That’s going to stop the palpitations?” She asked joy.

Joy ignored her and instead continued to smack the side of the control panel.

Then the tremors stopped.

“There you go!” Joy said with mirth.

Fear got up from the floor and made her way back to her seat with a smile on her face. “Who would have thought it?!” She exclaimed happily.

All 5 emotions laughed gleefully at the occurrence.

Then there was a moment of awkward silence.

Joy eyed Fear’s seat and then met Fear’s eyes.

Fear in turn eyed Joy eyeing her seat, met her eyes and then immediately met eyes with Anger and Sadness.

Anger eyed Joy eying Fear’s seat and then she met eyes with Fear.

Sadness eyed Fear eyeing Joy as she eyed Fear’s seat and then met eyes with Fear.

Disgust rolled her eyes.

All three of them: Sadness, Anger and Fear jumped Joy at the same time.

“This is so unfair!” Joy complained as she sat tied to her own chair back again. “I helped you with the palpitations! The least you could do is let me play the piano a little bit!!!” She yelled.

“Shut up! I’m trying to work here!” Fear shot back.

By now Lena and Kara were seated on the couch finishing a glass of wine.

“Listen chief, Sadness, Disgust and me are gonna go for a moment… There’s something we want to get from our rooms, but we’ll be right back.” Anger informed Fear.

Fear was thrown off by this. “You’re gonna leave me alone?! I can’t have sex with Kara all by myself!!!” She panicked.

Anger dismissed her with a wave. “There’s still time, they’re not even making out right now.” And with that, all three of them left.

Fear turned to look at Joy with worry.

“Untie me and you won’t have to do this alone.” Joy offered.

“I’m not gonna untie you. You go crazy every time Kara’s near Lena.” Fear bit back.

“C’mon! She makes Lena so happy and I just have this primal need to express that.” Joy tried to justify.

“Yeah, but then you go out of commission and who does that help?” Fear countered.

Then Joy tried to lift her hand up from beneath the rope that bind her to the chair. “Just let me touch one button at least! C’mon! They’re talking about musicals now and I _love_ musicals.” Joy whined.

Fear sighed. “Okay okay… but no funny business, okay?” She got up from her chair and freed one of Joy’s hands.

Joy pushed a yellow button.

“Do you like Audrey Hepburn then?” Lena asked excitedly.

“I mean- I can’t say I’ve watched all of her stuff or anything, but I do _love_ Funny Face.” Kara answered her.

“What about the infamous My Fair Lady?” Lena asked instead.

“Infamous?” Kara lowered her eyebrows in confusion.

“You know Julie Andrews? Mary Poppins…?” Lena started.

Kara raised her eyebrows in excitement. “Yes oh my God, she’s great in the Sound of Music!”

“Well, she played Eliza Doolittle back when it was Broadway musical. So it was more than expected that she would play her in the film as well, but then they went and casted Audrey Hepburn instead who could not even sing.” Lena spoke passionately and with self-confidence.

“Jeez… that’s gotta hurt.” Kara commented.

“This story ends with a happy ending though, because the very next year Julie won an Academy Award for Mary Poppins and on her acceptance speech she even dissed the guy who didn’t cast her in My Fair Lady!” Lena let out a little laugh at that and Kara joined her.

“That’s such a great story. I love that!” Kara commented.

“Okay, okay, okay… what did we miss?” Anger, Sadness and Disgust got back to HQ, all of them wearing silk sleep gowns in their respective colors.

“W-what are you guys wearing?” Fear, still wearing her purple suit asked the other three.

As a response, Disgust opened up her nightgown to reveal she was wearing nothing but sexy emerald-green lingerie.

“Whoa! I want to wear that too!” Joy exclaimed.

“I know right! It even comes with this.” Disgust then lifted up one of her legs on a chair by the control panel to show off a garter.

Fear was beyond flabbergasted.

“This is so unprofessional!” Fear protested. “Please tell me that you two are not wearing that too!” She demanded out of Anger and Sadness.

Anger opened up her gown to reveal bright scarlet lingerie as well. “What? We’re only getting ready for when it gets all hot up in here!” She contended.

“You really think Kara’s gonna want to sleep with someone that basically has a diaper on her cheek?” Fear asked with incredulity.

Anger’s eyes turned red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, ‘cause Lena’s a fucking babe, okay? A really hot fucking babe and anybody would want to sleep with her under any circumstances!” She yelled at Fear’s face.

Hoping to diffused the situation, Sadness decided to return the subject back to what they were wearing. “I chose to wear a swimsuit!” She said with glee as she opened up her gown and showed off a one-piece dark blue swimsuit.

Somehow, after seeing the other two display so much skin, Fear started to think that what Sadness was wearing was more than reasonable.

“Can’t you wear something like what Sadness is wearing?” Fear pleaded with Anger and Disgust.

“Fuck that!” Anger countered standing there in a power pose with her hands on her hips.

Disgust shrugged her shoulders and looked to the side in nonchalance.

Both of them standing right next to the other in red and green, looked like a someone’s naughty Christmas fantasy regarding Katie McG- Lena! Regarding Lena Luthor!

After that, the both of them returned to their seats.

Sadness then walked over to Fear and placed her hand on her shoulder. “Please let them be, they were so excited when they came up with the idea… I’m just following them out of peer pressure though.” She then sat back on her chair.

Joy was smiling happily throughout the entire ordeal.

Fear groaned in exasperation. “Okay okay… Whatever!” She then pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Disgust, please take over for now. I’m gonna go to the bathroom and freshen up.”

Disgust got to work.

By now Lena was washing the dishes as Kara dried them. Both quiet in awkward anticipatory silence.

“Wait… I really can’t wash dishes like- that’s totally not my thing.” Disgust said with revulsion.

“I can do it… I find it comforting somehow.” Sadness offered.

Disgust lowered her eyebrows at her in suspicion. “Are you gonna make Lena cry as she washes the dishes?”

Sadness crossed her heart. “I promise I won’t.”

“Put me in coach!” Joy exclaimed, still tied to her seat.

“We’ll put you in at some point… maybe for the sex part, how good are you at that?” Disgust asked Joy.

“I’m great at sex, I promise.” Joy beamed. “Like so so so good that you wouldn’t believe!” She insisted

Again, Disgust’s eyes turned suspicious. “Have you ever had sex before?”

“Nope, but I’m more than sure of my potential performance.” Joy smiled mischievously. “Great sex is fifty percent listening to what your partner wants and fifty percent telling them what you want. I’m a great listener, plus I’m nothing if not self-confident!”

She then yelled. “Put. Me. In. Coach.!”

Disgust let out a good hearted laugh at that. “We’ll see what Fear has to say about this, but I’m definitively on your corner when it comes to trying to convince her.” She assured Joy.

“Yay!” Joy beamed.

When Disgust payed attention back on the screen, she realized that Sadness was just about done doing the dishes.

“I didn’t make her cry, see?” Sadness extended one of her hands to point at the screen.

“I see. I’ll be sure not to underestimated you again.” Disgust apologized.

Sadness gave her a soft smile in return.

“So what did I miss?” Fear returned to HQ.

“Nothing much, we just were talking about who should have sex with Kara.” Anger informed Fear.

“Well, it should be Joy right? Happy sex, happy couple and all that stuff…?” Fear said to the group.

“YES!” Joy cheered.

The other three emotions agreed.

Fear returned to her seat and resumed control of Lena.

As she finished with the last dish, Lena looked to Kara with sudden bashfulness. Kara stopped drying one of the dishes and moved closer to Lena, hugging her from behind. She pressed her face against Lena’s unhurt cheek and took in a deep breath.

“You know, we don’t really have to do anything tonight. I know you had a really rough day today, please don’t feel pressured to do anything at all.” She said in a soft whisper.

Fear let out the biggest of sighs. “Oh thank God! We’ll just do it some other time, okay?” And just when she was about to pull a lever down, Disgust and Sadness stopped her.

“Don’t you dare!” Anger screamed. “Lena ran through explosions today! Frank got hurt! She scraped her knees and fucked up her face only to end up puking on her balcony!! Don’t you motherfucking dare pull that lever down ‘cause we’re _most_ definitively having sex tonight and ending this goddamn day on a high note!”

Fear gulped down at that. “Okay, okay- I get it.” She conceded.

Disgust and Sadness let go of Fear and allowed her to pull down the lever.

“Kara,” Lena let out through a whimper. “p-please-”

Upon sensing the shift in Lena, Kara held onto her tighter and started peppering kissed down her neck. “Please what?”

Fear inhaled deeply before pressing a green button.

“Please just t-take me to bed.” Lena managed to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fight or flight response is pretty cool, huh?


	10. Teamwork

What kept happening to Joy was not completely unheard of. There had been times when Anger had gone over the top only to suddenly faint. In fact, there were also times when that had happened to Sadness too.

They were not unconscious until the next morning though, but at most for two or three hours.

The worse case scenario Fear could picture though, was all of them going out of commission at the same time. She worried about that not because she's prone to paranoid ideation, but because she knew from experience just how bad that could be.

It had only happened once before though.

When Lena first came out to her mother Lillian.

She should not have done it in the first place, but they were fighting and Lena said it out of spite.

All of the emotions were haywire without any sort of direction or method. The four of them pressing all the buttons they could at the same time.

And then Lillian said something awful, something so dreadfully horrible back.

Lena could not take it. She was only seventeen, a kid.

The emotions continued to press all the buttons they could as fast as they could.

Lena ran away to her room and all of the emotions plummeted to the ground or on top of the controls.

When the emotions woke up, two days had gone by and they realized that Lena had stayed in her room all of that time, not talking to anyone or doing anything.

They were not even sure if Lena had eaten a meal and there was no footage to replay in order to make sure.

It was as if, without them, Lena had been incapable of creating new memories.

That night, all four of them vowed to never lose it like that ever again; to never leave Lena all alone.

“Pace yourself, okay?” Fear indicated to Joy as she started to untie her from her chair. “You don’t want to go all out at the beginning only to crash and burn without reaching the end.”

“Maybe, maybe just _don’t_ play the piano. Maybe you could just use the normal controls…?” Sadness suggested as she watched Joy get up and make her way to Fear’s seat.

Joy nodded to Sadness in agreement. “I think I can do that.”

Kara was taking Lena by the hand towards her bedroom.

Joy sat on the commander seat.

The other four emotions stood behind her, watching expectantly.

Anger then started rubbing her shoulders. “We all believe in you! You got this!” She encouraged.

Once Lena entered the bedroom, Kara gave her a few moments to familiarize herself with the space.

“This is really cute.” Sadness commented. “I really like that big picture of the beach.” She referenced some artwork on the wall.

“That’s a full size bed. Lena hasn’t slept on one of those in years. How nostalgic.” Anger commented.

Joy looked at them with a furrowed brow, tacitly asking them to stay quiet.

They both looked sheepish.

Kara sat on the bed and then patted the space right next to her for Lena to sit down as well.

Joy pressed a small button to the side and Lena sat down.

The mood in both the bedroom and HQ shifted.

Kara slowly lifted her hand and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Lena’s ear. “You’re so beautiful.” She whispered.

Lena smiled big at that, her cheeks all rosy and cute.

Then Kara leaned closer and pressed her lips against hers.

Joy continued to type away on the console while the other 4 emotions watched.

The kiss was soft and sweet and for a few moments all of the emotions started to feel dizzy.

“Disgust, give me your hand.” Joy requested.

Everybody was confused at that. Most of all Disgust, who had never kissed anybody, lest she vomit all over their shoes.

Upon the non-reaction from Disgust, Joy decided to simply take her hand herself and, after doing so, she pulled down a lever with her free hand.

Lena introduced her tongue inside Kara’s mouth, exploring thoroughly; and for the first time since Disgust’s existence, she was actually kissing somebody.

“I’m- I’m kissing her! I’m kissing Kara!” Disgust exclaimed.

Sadness, Anger and Fear cheered for her. “That’s amazing!”

“You more than anybody deserve this- being such a good flirt and then never getting to seal the deal, I knew that always sucked for you.” Anger hugged Disgust with affection.

Disgust pushed her away. “Let me freakin’ enjoy this in peace!” She complained and Anger took a step back with both hands up in self-defense.

Joy pushed a few more buttons with her free hand as she still held Disgust’s and Lena, in turn, pushed Kara to lie down on the bed.

The kiss continued, getting deeper and sloppier by the second.

The temperature back in HQ started to rise.

Fear took off her blazer and rolled up her sleeves, while both Anger and Sadness untied their nightgowns.

Suddenly, the image on the screen was spinning rapidly and Fear could not help herself, in a fit of panic she leaned over Joy to try and push a button.

Joy reacted immediately, quickly letting go of Disgust and instead taking Fear’s hand in order to push the button together.

Kara had turned Lena on her back and was now on top of her.

Lena gasped in delighted surprise.

Anger gaped at the scene. Everybody knew that when Fear got scared during sex, Lena would freak out and become paralyzed or at the very least let out a little panicked scream.

Joy let go of Fear and took Anger’s hand instead.

Lena took the back of Kara’s head and pulled her in, clashing their lips together. The kiss was wet and wanton and then Lena bit Kara’s lower lip _hard_.

Anger was having a religious experience.

Kara moaned as a reaction and then kissed Lena just as passionately.

Sadness wiped some tears from her eyes. This was the best sex they had ever had and it had not even started yet.

Joy, with the help of Anger, continued to kiss Kara fervently.

“Take off your clothes.” Lena demanded between kisses.

Kara leaned back to sit up and then went to take off her shirt.

Joy let go of Anger’s hand and continued her work solo.

Lena went to sit up as well to get a better view of Kara taking her shirt off, but the shirt got stuck on one of Kara’s earrings. Lena laughed a joyous laugh and from underneath the shirt, Kara groaned in fake-annoyance.

“Help me! If I can’t get out of here, I won’t be able to make you see stars.” Kara quipped, her voiced muffled behind the fabric of her shirt.

“Why don’t you just use your super-strength to rip yourself out of there?” Lena asked her between mocking laughs.

“I like this shirt!” Kara whined. “Now help me!”

Lena laughed again as she helped Kara disentangle the shirt from her earring.

Back in HQ, all of the emotions were laughing unabashedly.

Once Kara’s shirt was off, the laughter ceased instantaneously.

“What the fuuuuuck?” Anger exclaimed.

“Look at those abs, oh my God!” Disgust joined her.

All nodded in agreement.

All except Fear

Joy grabbed Sadness’ hand.

“Kara, you’re so beautiful.” Lena cupped Kara’s face between her hands and leaned in for a kiss, it was gentle and with the utmost care.

After it was over, Kara smiled at Lena with such fondness, with such beautiful piercing blue eyes, with such _love_ …

It felt like too much.

All of the emotions standing behind Joy grabbed onto one another in anticipation.

The room started shaking and Joy, letting go of Sadness’ hand, banged on the console once, twice and thrice before the tremors stopped.

Then she pressed down a button.

“You make my heart skip.” Lena said to Kara with nothing but sincerity.

“So do you.” Kara smiled before leaning in and pressing her lips against Lena's, slowly but surely getting her to lie back down on the bed.

Then Kara leaned back for a moment and started to unbutton Lena’s shirt.

Sweat started to gather up on each of the emotion’s foreheads.

Kara then pulled one of Lena’s bra cups down and dove right in.

“Fear, you wouldn’t know it ‘cause you’re always fainting, but do you have any idea how many times Lena’s fantasized about this?” Disgust teased.

Wiping some sweat off her brow, Fear smiled and rolled her eyes playfully at Disgust. “I believe that at least three times a day or so…?”

Disgust laughed. “It was much more than that!”

Kara then started sucking on Lena’s neck and, between kisses, said: “This is all I’ve thought about for weeks.”

Joy nodded and then pulled down a lever.

“Me too!” Lena exclaimed between gasps for air.

Kara and Lena continued making out and Joy kept taking and letting go of each of the emotion's hands as she saw fit.

By the end of it, both women were entirely naked and the temperature at HQ kept consistently incrementing.

Then Kara positioned two fingers at Lena’s entrance.

“Please!” Lena begged.

Once Kara entered her, all of the emotions cheered and high-fived.

Sadness went to get the scotch and served everybody shots.

“1… 2… 3…Go!” Sadness, Anger and Disgust all took a shot and then patted each other’s backs and smiled.

After a few moments of Kara deliciously thrusting her fingers inside Lena, the temperature became unbearable.

Fear took off her shirt entirely and the other three took off their nightgowns, Joy stayed working in her yellow dress.

“Lena needs to come and like _pronto_!” Anger yelled at the screen and then offered her hand towards Joy.

Joy met her eyes decidedly, before taking Anger’s hand and pressing some buttons on the console.

Lena started thrusting her hips against Kara’s fingers at a faster pace than the blonde’s current rhythm, her movements denoting clear frustration.

Kara leaned her body back to better contemplate Lena’s actions.

“You look so pretty like that, fucking yourself on my fingers.” Kara told Lena.

The alarms went off, red lights flashing brightly all across HQ as the pressure valve rose from the ground in front of the control panel.

The 5 emotions cheered with excitement.

Joy then turned her face to look at the other emotions. “Grab onto me!”

The other four emotions did as told, placing their hands on Joy’s shoulders and Anger still holding on to her hand.

Then Kara began to thrust faster and deeper into Lena and the steering wheel on top of the pressure valve began to crank itself.

It was too hot and it was just too hard to even _think_.

Joy continued her work diligently though, making Lena keep up her thrusting with Kara’s.

The light near the pressure valve lit up and the small red hand-wheel next to it turned itself open.

Anger let go of Joy and extended her arms up to the sky, expecting rain.

However it was not rain what came down, but snow.

Little snowflakes descended upon HQ gradually and upon touching the emotion’s skins, sweet deliciously slow relief came down upon them.

The sensation was entirely new for all five of them, making the release from the heat come in prolonged pleasurable waves instead of all out once.

It was the best orgasm Lena had ever felt in her entire life.

Joy fell unconscious on top of the control panel.

* * *

“Listen, I know we haven’t yet talked about our families…” Kara started some pillow talk, as she and Lena laid naked in bed cuddling. “But I want you to meet my sister and my friends. My-my sister is getting married in a month and I was wondering if maybe you-” She paused to take in a nervous breath.

“I’d more than love to.” Lena interjected before Kara could finish.

Kara let out a sigh of relief.

Back in HQ, the janitorial staff was cleaning up the water from the melted snow as Disgust handled the controls and all of the others were lounging around, drinking water and talking animatedly about the sex they had just had.

Anger and Fear had already taken Joy to her room for her to rest.

Then Kara’s expression shifted to mischievous. “Perfect! You just agreed to host my sister’s bachelorette party!” She said with mirth.

Disgust was taken aback by that, she thought she was agreeing to be Kara’s date.

“She’s playing with you.” Sadness approached Disgust to stand right behind her.

Disgust let out a laugh. “Oh she’s good! She’s so good!” She continued laughing as she pressed her marvelous red button.

Lena laughed as well and Kara joined her.

“I’m really looking forward to it.” Kara commented once the laughter had died down. “My sister- it was really hard for her to come to terms with her sexuality. I’m just so happy that she’s come this far and I’m so proud of her.” She said in all seriousness.

Disgust then made eye-contact with Sadness and tacitly they both understood that the blue-dressed emotion (still in a swimsuit mind you!) needed to take over for this part of the conversation.

Sadness sat down on her seat and got to work.

Not to offend Anger and Disgust, but it was not for nothing that Sadness was Fear’s right hand man. She was always thoughtful and kind, and most specially, she knew Lena and her feelings thoroughly.

“It means a lot to me that you asked me to share such an important moment with you. Your sister is a very lucky woman.” Lena said with candor.

“I’m the lucky one. When I first got to earth, I was scared and confused… I barely spoke the language and supposedly I was coming here to take care of Clark, but I got held off. When I did get here, he was already all grown up… I felt as if I somehow had failed my mission or something and then he sent me off to live with the Danvers.” Kara clenched her eyes shut as if trying to hold back tears. “And they were kind and everything, but I was just so _angry_. Angry at my parents, angry at my aunt and uncle, angry at Clark… and Alex, she treated me like crap- I thought we would never get along.” She continued in a rush.

By now all 4 emotions at HQ had gathered in front of the screen and were listening intently at Kara’s story.

“But then we did and that just meant so much to me. It meant _everything_.” Kara concluded, blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

“She understands…” Fear whispered. “She knows what we’ve been through because she’s been through it herself…” Again she said softly to no one in particular. “Sadness tell her! Tell her we went through the same!” Fear insisted.

Sadness nodded.

“I understand how you must’ve felt.” Lena responded in a tender tone. “I went through something similar myself.” She then sighed. “After my mother died, I was adopted by the Luthors- I didn’t fit in and Lillian was just so _cruel_ … but eventually Lex became my solace, my friend and it meant the world, it was _everything_.” Lena shared.

Kara pressed her body tighter to Lena’s. “I’m sorry about how things ended for him. He- I mean, I was just a kid myself, but I heard that he had such promise. It’s so sad that he chose that path…”

Lena nodded in agreement. “I oftentimes think about what would’ve happened if he had used all that talent and intellect for the _actual_ betterment of humanity and not for the detriment of aliens.”

Then a sudden panic surged through Fear as she pressed a button along with Sadness.

“Oh God, I can’t imagine what he’d say if he could see me right now!” Lena wondered out loud with nervousness.

Disgust scoffed at Fear. “That’s what you’re worrying about right now!? I just realized that Clark Kent is Superman!”

Fear felt like puking. It seemed that Kara’s and Lena’s lives shared too many things in common, too many _complicated_ things.

Fear pressed another button at the same time as Sadness.

“And now I know what Lex had always wanted to find out: Clark Kent is Superman… it’s all so surreal.” Lena exclaimed, her voice suddenly in a high pitch.

Kara put her arm around her. “Hey hey, it’s okay… Everything’s okay.” She rubbed her hand along Lena’s arm in a comforting way.

Fear calmed down a bit after that.

The power Kara Danvers held over her was strange and… scary.

“My cousin and your brother got it all wrong. They should’ve worked as a team… Just imagine what they could’ve achieved.” Kara said as she continued caressing Lena’s arms.

Lena nodded. “You’re right. They got it wrong and it’s up to us to get it right.”

Kara smiled at that. “Exactly!” She agreed.

* * *

The intrusive thoughts became rather sporadic after that. It seemed that after having the real deal, there really was no point to them.

Lena went to the doctor that next Tuesday to check on the bandages on her cheek and he told her that it was not going to scar.

That appeased some of Fear and Sadness’ anxiety.

Her knees though, they looked so gross now that scabs had formed on them, that Disgust could barely look at them and started to choose pants for Lena to wear constantly.

Regrettably they had all agreed that Lena’s routine needed to go back to how it used to be. They had to reserve Joy’s strength for more important things like being with Kara.

It was still very difficult to control Joy’s impulses to play her piano every time Kara was around, but they kept tying her to the chair and even Joy had eventually agreed that it was probably for the best.

And the thing was that sometimes Joy would faint after half a day of just sitting in the chair and it had become very worrisome for everybody. It was as if she was getting weaker and weaker as each day passed.

Fear was terrified.

They could not lose Joy, she was too important. If she could, she would trade places with her.

Lena even started conversations with the local government in order to implement reliable and affordable public transportation to the residents of National City.

Lena kept the photo album of her and Kara’s first date on a drawer in her desk and sometimes, during quiet times at the office, she would take it out and look at the pictures with amazement at all that had happened between them since then.

Another week passed and then Joy’s tests results were conclusive.

“We had to go all the way to the _Mother Cell_ for these.” The doctor was now at the conference room, taking out big blue rolls of paper. “These are Lena’s blueprints.”

All five emotions listened attentively.

“There was always supposed to be five emotions in charge of Lena's brain: Sadness, Fear, Anger, Disgust and… Joy.” The doctor continued.

“We know all about you four. We know what you’re made of and which levels of your components are the normal amounts. But with Joy, we didn’t know anything so we had to go back to the beginning and these are it!” She tapped the blueprints with her index finger.

“Joy’s supposed to be made of four different components: Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphins. Once we identified that all four were present in the samples, then we knew we were dealing with something _normal_ for Lena to have even if we had never known about Joy before… And we know this because it’s all here in the blueprints.” She continued explaining.

All five emotions smiled amongst themselves.

Fear felt like she was about to cry from happiness. Lena had always been meant to be happy, it was in the blueprints so that’s the way she had been designed all along.

“After identifying the components in Joy’s samples, then we checked the amounts and that’s where the problem lies.”

“What do you mean?!” Fear asked in a panic.

“I’m really sorry to say, but this Joy right here does not even have a third of the normal amount she’s supposed to have. What’s even worse is that the quantity of her four components is consistently dropping. That’s why she keeps fainting, she’s not strong enough.” The doctor elaborated.

“Okay but, what does it all mean?” Joy asked this time.

“We don’t know exactly what it all means but, we think that the next step should be to treat you with a supplement regiment. You need to take really good care of yourself, okay? You’re too fragile.”

Fear’s stomach dropped to the floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no! D:


	11. Quick Reference

Joy had not told anybody yet, but none of her rests were ever peaceful. She mostly felt cold and on edge. She kept having these dreams about being all alone and sad. These visions behind her eyelids were so vivid, so _real,_ that upon waking she find herself immensely grateful that she was not there anymore, that it was all a dream.

She did not fully feel like herself, not even when playing the piano for Lena. It was odd because she did feel welcomed by the other emotions. In fact, she felt admired and appreciated and that somehow she felt like something _adjacent_ to who she truly was, but still. Something was missing.

After the doctor left, Joy made sure to call up the construction team to request a very particular contraption. The next morning, when she saw that they were installing straps to her chair, she swallowed her fear and smiled for everybody to see.

They would not have to tie her down anymore, now she could tie herself down.

Because if one thing was hanging at the back of her head was the word _fragile_.

Apparently that is what she was, perhaps _who_ she was.

She felt that Lena needed her and if she had no impulse control when it came to Kara, then she was not to be trusted. So if being tied in a chair was the answer, so be it.

Then the experiments started.

“What you need to do is eat more you see, and then maybe you can train. I have a punchbag in my room. Exercise will be good for you, right?” Anger offered.

This excited Joy instantaneously. She ate much more in the mornings and got to work with the punchbag right away.

But it proved futile.

The doctors were running tests every day now, to check if the supplements were working, but apparently they either kept her stable or the quantity of her components still showed a slight deficit.

“Maybe is Lena who has to do the exercising?” Fear reasoned, making Lena go on the elliptical once in the morning and once at night for the next few days.

That did not seem to make any difference.

The only thing that seemed to work was _not working_ at all. The times that she had managed to stay awake come night, it meant that she had not touched the console even once during the entire day.

This was no way of living. She needed to work, she was born to do this job, why couldn’t she?

She tried it all, waking up eating a lot, punching the bag, the shots, Lena on the elliptical and even getting drunk as per Sadness’ suggestion.

Still she did not feel like herself.

It sucked.

“We usually just go to this bar and get some drinks, maybe some karaoke?” Kara told Lena over the phone that Wednesday. “We’re gonna be there this Friday and it would really mean a lot to me if you came.”

Sadness unstrapped Joy from her new contraption.

“I’ll be there Kara! I promise.” Lena said with earnestness.

Sadness strapped her back again.

“Thank you.” Joy said to the blue-dressed emotion with a sad smile.

Sadness returned the small smile.

Everything changed after they had met with the doctor.

They all pitied her.

There had to be a solution though and either way, it was not as if Joy would ever give up. She had to go on! She had to fight for Lena, for the team and for herself.

She just _had_ to.

In the meantime, she would take the supplements, eat the food and punch the bag.

Lena saw Kara waiting at the bar’s entrance. Upon meeting each other’s eyes, Kara waved at her excitedly.

“She’s like a puppy dog.” Disgust let out a breath, her eyes stuck to the image of a smiling Kara.

Anger then fist-bumped the air. “Who’s ready to have fun with Kara’s friends.”

All of the other emotions cheered.

All except Fear and Sadness.

Because you see, the both of them controlling Lena together were creating a very particular feeling in Lena’s gut called _social anxiety_.

“What if they don’t like Lena?” Fear had asked the group that very morning as Disgust made Lena peel off the scabs on her knees.

“This is like- _so_ gross.” Disgust had said with excitement in her voice, completely ignoring Fear’s concerns.

“Why would they? Lena’s damaged goods, only Sam loves her and we still can’t figure out why…” Sadness joined Fear between tears.

“What if we say something stupid? Like some nerdy science joke or something and nobody gets it and we embarrass not only ourselves, but Kara as well?!” Fear did not even hear what Sadness had just said and continued on with her own individual spiral.

“Then she’ll have to break up with Lena because none of her friends will approve of her.” Sadness answered, very much being able to hear and put in her grain of salt on top of whatever Fear said.

“What are you two blabbering about?!” Joy, strapped to her chair on the far right of the console, yelled at the other two.

“Yeah! What the fuck did you just say about Lena?! Damaged goods?! I’ll show you damaged goods!” Anger slid in front of Disgust, trying to violently make her way over to punch Sadness’ face.

“I think we should call Sam you guys… she’s like- our rock.” Disgust said to the room.

Fear, having Anger reached her lap in order to get to Sadness suddenly sprung into awkward action, making her way through Anger’s body, she managed to touch the buttons on the console, making Lena call her best friend.

“Couldn’t you do that after I was done with the scabs?!” Disgust complained even though it had been her idea in the first place.

“Hey Lena, what’s up?” Sam answered right away.

Anger stopped her movements and stared at the screen, very aware of Sam’s beautiful voice.

“She always answers on the first or second ring, it’s so comforting.” Sadness said in a soft voice, completely unaware of having avoided a knuckle sandwich from Anger.

Fear started touching the controls again.

“Tonight I’m meeting Kara’s friends and I’m freaking out!” Lena squealed to the phone.

“Oh Lena, sweetie… Maybe I can come with you? She should get to meet your friend too!” Sam offered.

And that’s how Lena found herself walking by the elbow with Sam as Kara waved at them from outside the bar.

“Damn Luthor, she’s gorgeous!” Sam commented in a quiet voice while they were about to reach Kara.

“How come she’s so smart, so perceptive? God I do I love this woman!” Anger yelled at the screen.

“Kara probably heard that with her super-hearing thing…” Disgust started to laugh.

Fear instantly reacted to Disgust’s statement by smashing down the first button she could see, making Lena elbow Sam.

“Shut up!” Lena admonished.

“Ouch!” Sam complained to Lena, but there was no time to engage with that, because Kara was now standing right in front of them.

“Hello!” Sam extended her hand towards Kara. “I’m Sam, Lena’s friend.”

Fear stood up from her chair, supporting the weight of her torso on her hands flat on the console. “Please like her! Please like her! Please!” She shouted.

“You mean that Kara likes Sam or that Sam likes Kara?” Joy asked her.

“Both!” Fear yelled her answer.

Kara shook Sam’s hand. “It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Kara, Lena’s-”

“Girlfriend.” Sam completed for her.

“Yup. Okay, now let’s get out of the cold and go into the bar, right?"

"Yeah.. okay.” Lena said in a jittery voice.

Sadness was losing it too as she and Fear took turns controlling Lena.

Joy was starting to get frustrated all tied up in her chair. “Can’t you make Lena a bit more upbeat? The two people she loves the most are meeting, this is great!”

As Joy was speaking, Disgust started giving her the scissor gesture with her hand, trying to get her to cut it out.

But it was too late now.

Both Fear and Sadness turned to Joy with disturbing grimaces.

“You want Lena to be more upbeat?” Sadness started.

“Why would she be upbeat?” Fear interjected.

“She could be rejected by Kara’s sister and then Kara will have to break up with her.” Sadness continued with the spiel.

“She could fall on her face, only for Kara to save her in the nick of time with her super-speed and accidentally reveal herself as Supergirl, thus making Lena the catalyst that ruined Kara’s life!” Fear joined.

This special combo between Fear and Sadness was called an _anxiety attack_.

Both Disgust and Anger hated when the two of them ganged up like this and, after many fights amongst the four them, both had learned that it was best to leave them alone and let them control Lena in whichever way they saw fit because it would eventually pass.

Joy had not learned that yet, but she was about to.

Lena started to enter the bar, Kara walking right in front of her and Sam just behind her.

Feeling attacked, Joy tried to defend herself. “I’m just sayin’! Plus none of your imaginary scenarios are making any sense!

As she spoke, now both Disgust _and_ Anger were giving her the scissor gesture, worried that she was just going to worsen the situation for Lena.

Then Kara stopped walking and Lena bumped into her.

“Sam…” Kara started. “I hate to do this, but I need to talk to Lena in private… could you please go get drinks and then we’ll meet you at that table over there and I’ll introduce you to everybody?”

Fear and Sadness both got up from their seats and hugged each other tightly. “She’s going to break up with Lena!” They exclaimed simultaneously.

Sam looked from a nervous Lena to a very at ease Kara, nodded in understanding and headed over to the bar.

Fear continued to panic. “She just _left us_?! How could she just leave us like that?!”

“I thought she had our backs!” Sadness lamented.

Kara took Lena’s hand and guided her over to a corner of the bar. Lena now stood with a wall behind her and Kara in front of her, feeling literally between a rock and an _alien made of steel_.

Kara leaned down to speak closer to Lena’s ear lest all the noise prevent Lena from properly hearing her.

“Babe is everything okay? Your heart- your heartbeat is all over the place.” Kara said to Lena.

Fear was losing it. “She can’t know we’re freaking out! She just can’t!” And with that she pressed down the first button she saw.

“E-everything’s fine.” Lena answered her.

Kara cupped Lena’s face with both of her hands and started stroking her thumbs over her cheeks tenderly. “I want you to know that it means so much to me that you came here and that you brought Sam. It lets me know that you’re serious about our relationship and that makes me so happy.” She then leaned down and gave Lena a sweet kiss.

Then there was a knock at the door in HQ.

All of the emotions turned their heads towards the sound.

“Huh? Someone came to visit us?” Anger wondered out loud as she stood up to open the door.

In came two maintenance people, but instead of wearing their regular brown-colored uniform, they were both dressed in white. Most strangely of all, they were pushing some sort of small twin beds inside HQ.

“It’s Gary and Sue from maintenance…?” Anger announced to the room, confusion laced her voice.

Both of them lifted up clipboards to read something aloud from them, but it was Sue who spoke first. “Yeah hi, I’m here for a Sadness Luthor.”

Sadness stood up from her chair, she looked _excited_ …? “That’s me! I’m Sadness.” She raised her hand at Sue.

Then Gary spoke. “And I’m here for a-” His eyes squinted as he tried to read whatever it was that was on his clipboard. “-a F-eh Feh-Ár Luthor…? Did I pronounce that right?”

“It’s pronounced _Fear_ and that’s me.” Fear announced _excitedly_ as well…?

“Come on up!” Sue patted the bed, now very clearly a _massage bed_ and Sadness just went with it and moved to lie on it face down.

Anger did not understand anything. “I’m sorry- What exactly is going on here?”

“We’re just doing our jobs,” Gary responded. “We were told to come here and give Sadness and Feh-Ár a massage that’s all.”

“B-but you guys are from maintenance, no way you’re also masseuses!” Anger said in disbelief.

Gary took offense at that. “We all have _layers_ okay? I happen to be into fixing things, giving massages and sending the occasional hate-mail to the mother cell.”

By now Fear was already lying face down on Gary’s massage bed.

Both Gary and Sue pushed the beds to stand closer by the big wide window at the back of HQ and then got to work.

“Okayyy…” Disgust said. “ _That_ happened… whatever that was.”

“I think it’s somehow related to Kara… to what she just said to Lena.” Anger reasoned.

“Wait so, that has never happened before?!” Joy asked with surprise in her voice.

“No…” Disgust started to answer. “When they get social anxiety, no ‘masseuses’ have ever come in here to take care of it. Sadness and Fear usually calm down once Lena starts having fun and they realize that they made it out to be way worse in their heads than it actually was going to be.”

“Or they get better after Lena’s second whiskey neat, whichever one comes first.” Anger added.

Joy nodded in understanding.

After a beat, Disgust looked over from Joy to Anger. “Who should control Lena now?”

“I can take over!” Joy offered eagerly, still strapped to her chair.

Disgust and Anger made eye contact and then nodded towards Joy.

“Don’t go all out at once.” Disgust advised Joy as she unstrapped her from her confines and Joy saw the pity in her eyes.

“I’ll do it right, don’t worry.” Joy assured her with a wink.

Truth was, it was kind of scary using the controls now. Above all because of Kara. There was something about her that compelled Joy to play her musical instrument. It was a force beyond any Joy had ever felt before.

Seated now on the commander chair, Joy got to work.

Lena kissed Kara back, matching her tenderness and after the kiss was over Lena smiled.

“I lied to you, I was pretty much freaking out about all of this. I do take it very seriously, but that also means that it makes me really nervous and anxious. You saying all of that just now is making me feel a whole lot better though. Sam's still at the bar, let’s go catch up with her and get this over with!” Lena said with newfound resolve.

Kara smiled back, stroking her thumb one last time on Lena’s cheek before taking her hand and guiding her towards the bar.

Once they reached her, Sam turned around and greeted them with a smile. “Hello ladies! A whiskey neat for my dear friend and a beer for her girlfriend whom I just met and I don’t know what she likes to drink!” She quipped, giving both Lena and Kara the drinks.

Kara laughed as she took the beer from Sam. “A beer’s perfect, don’t worry.” She assured her.

Lena took her glass as well and then all three made their way to Kara’s table.

“Hello everybody!” Kara interjected once the three of them had arrived. “I wanted to introduce you all to Lena my girlfriend and this is Sam, Lena’s friend.”

Everybody on the table waved at them and then once Lena and Sam had sat down, Kara took care of individual introductions.

Anger, Disgust and Joy listened attentively lest they embarrass Lena by misremembering someone’s name.

“This is my sister, Alex.” Kara introduced the woman sitting to her left on the round table. She had short hair and a tough face that put Joy off for a second, but then she smiled as she shook Lena’s hand and her expression changed to that of a kind person.

“Nice to meet you Lena. Kara’s told me all about you!” Alex sort of had to yell over Kara in order to be heard since Karaoke Night was already in full swing.

“All good things, I hope!” Lena quipped.

“Nothing but good things!” Kara assured and Alex nodded her agreement.

Then Alex turned to her left and placed her arm around a woman’s shoulders. “Lena meet my fiancé, Kelly!”

Kelly had beautiful big brown eyes and Joy instantly knew that this was a kind person, no doubt about it.

After that, Kara introduced the rest of her friends:

There was a man apparently named Brainy, which… what even? There was another man named J’onn and then there was a big man called James and a woman called Nia.

Brainy and Nia were a thing. J’onn was more of a father figure type of person to the group. James was CatCo’s current CEO and Nia was a reporter that was just starting out.

“We call each other super friends…” Kara whispered to Lena’s ear and honestly, everybody in HQ (that was not currently getting a massage) had a good laugh at that because it just sounded so corny.

“Am I a super friend too?” Lena joked.

“No, you’re a super girlfriend.” Kara told her in all seriousness before kissing her cheek.

Disgust rolled her eyes at that, but Joy was completely enamored whilst Anger shouted out a _fuck yeah!_

Sam was sitting in the opposite side of Lena talking animatedly with James and Nia about who knows what and Lena felt good, genuinely good. This was a nice group of people.

When Kara left to get Lena another drink, Alex scooted over to the now empty chair and leaned closer to Lena.

“So… how have you been dealing with all of the super stuff?” Alex asked Lena.

Lena smiled before answering. “She just saved my life last week so, can’t complain.”

“Oh yeah, she told me about that…” Alex pointed to Lena’s small band-aid on the side of her face. “That must’ve been scary.”

“It was. All of those explosions and at such fast rate. I had never seen anything like that.” Lena admitted.

Alex seemed to ponder Lena’s comment for a moment, then she looked over to J’onn, whom for some reason nodded at her as if answering an unasked question. The she turned back to Lena. “Listen, I don’t hold any of the stuff your brother did when you were a kid against you and if my sister trusts you, then I trust you as well…”

Joy, Disgust and Anger all looked to one another wondering where Alex was going with this.

“So I was thinking that maybe you could help. Come over to the office and take a look at our files about the incidents that have been happening. We haven’t been able to identify the weapon that this guy’s been using and honest to God, we’re running out of time, the whole city is in a panic.” Alex offered.

All three emotions were taken aback by this.

“What?!” Anger yelled at the screen. “Does that mean that’s we’d get to be superheroes to?!”

Joy felt elated. “I can’t believe she’s asking for our help! We’re so gonna rock this!”

“I’d be more than happy to, anything I can do to help… count me in.” Lena answered her straight away with an unwavering voice.

Then Kara came back with another whiskey neat for Lena and a beer for Sam, who winked her thanks at Kara and then continued talking animatedly with Nia and James.

“I’m really glad that you’re gonna try to help us out.” Kara told her as she seated down on Alex’s seat next to Kelly.

“You can’t keep any secrets from this one with that super hearing of hers!” Alex quipped, pointing at Kara with her thumb in a teasing way.

Just as Lena finished her second glass, Sadness’ and Fear’s massages were over and they returned back to work.

Fear sat on the far right, on Joy’s usual seat.

“How’s it going?” Sadness asked the group. “Gosh it’s going great for me, I’ve never felt more relaxed in my whole life!” She then answered her own question before once again asking. “How’s it going then?”

“We’re doing fine. Alex’s fiancé is a therapist, isn’t that cool?” Joy informed them.

“How come we’re not singing karaoke?!” Fear let out in almost an indignant shout.

“That’s nothing like you…” Joy accused.

“She’s drunk! Woooo!” Anger cheered. “I love Fun Fear!”

Joy looked to Anger in confusion.

“Fear never drinks herself, but when Lena gets drunk… it hits her the worse out of all of us and that’s when she becomes Fun Fear. Hello Fun Fear! How you doin’?!” Anger said with mirth.

“Helloooo!” Fear shouted back and then slammed her fist on the console. “KA. RE. O. KE! KA. RE. O. KE! KA. RE. O. KE!” She started to shout keeping rhythm with her slams on the control panel.

Then Sadness joined her chant and together they demanded for Lena to sing karaoke.

Joy could only comply.

Lena stood up from her chair

Anger then started to spontaneously rap. “Fun Fear’s in tha house! Not scared like a mouse! Lena’s voice’s not croaky! and we’re ready for karaokeeeeee!!!”

Disgust started to laugh her ass off. “You’re absurd, you know that right?”

Anger shrugged in response.

Then Lena made her way to the stage.

“What should we sing?” Joy asked the group.

“Something classic… let’s go with iconic!” Fear recommended.

“Oh I know! Let me check the files from the nineties.” Sadness stood up and walked over to the right side of the room where the filing cabinets were kept for quick references. She directly went to one branded 1990s. “Let me just check her childhood real quick.” Sadness then took out some manila folders and read out loud.

“Late nineties… we have Britney, N’sync…that weird Frank Sinatra phase she went through. Early nineties Lena was more into movies than music- oh my God! I have the perfect song!” She squealed with unmitigated glee.

Every emotion agreed that that was the right song.

Lena talked to the guy in charge and then grabbed a mic and waited for the song to play. Everybody at the super friends table turned to watch. Kara herself with the biggest of smiles.

“Turn around, look at what you seeee- eeee- eeeee in her face, the mirror of your dreeee- eeee- eeeeams.” Lena sang and everything she lacked in talent, she made up for in enthusiasm.

During the instrumental break, Lena called out for Kara to join her. The woman of steel immediately ran over to duet with her for the next part.

Together they sang:

“Make believe I’m everywhere, given in the liiiight. Written on the pages is the answer to a never ending stooooryy ahhh ahhh ahhhhh ahhhh.”

Anger looked on, completely amazed. “She can sing! Oh my god she’s such a good singer!”

Fear and Sadness were jumping up and down with their arms around one another as they sang along.

“Reach the stars, fly a fantasyyy- yyyyy- yyyyy. Dream the dream and what you see will beee- eeee- eeeee.”

Kara and Lena also put their arms around each other as the people seated at the different tables started to sing along as well and clap to the rhythm of the song.

“Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfurl behind the clouuuds, and there upon a rainbow is the answer to a never ending stooooooryyyy ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhhh”

Then they continued to sing _never ending story_ until the music faded.

Kara looked at Lena with the utmost affection and then hugged her with warmth. Lena was smiling that gorgeous smile.

It was a great night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed that :D


	12. Data Bases

Lena has never been in love.

Not _really_.

She has felt attraction, affection and perhaps a dose of care for a person’s general wellbeing, but not _love_.

Because, in order for Lena Luthor to be in love, all of the emotions need to be on the same page.

So there were times when Anger had the hots for some woman, only for Sadness to not find any emotional connection with her.

Other times Disgust could not stand a girl’s sense of humor, but Sadness instead thought that she was dorky in a cute way.

Never was the case that Fear cared for someone though.

She simply could not. It was already so strenuous on her to love Lena and care for her safety, that it would only be insanity to let herself care for somebody else as deeply.

She loved Sam of course. She cared about Jesse, Lena’s secretary and about Frank, her driver. A twisted and dark part of her cared for Lex, but only in a self-loathing kind of way. Still, the only person in her heart was Lena.

Love was… love was _messy_ and _risky_. If Fear let anyone in, then that meant opening up the possibility for Lena to get hurt and she could not have that.

Not after losing Lena’s mom and finding out what it meant to truly feel gut-wrenching pain in her core. Losing her best friend was the worst thing that had happened to Fear and she was not going to allow any possibilities for an encore.

Therefore, she could hear Anger say that someone was amazing, or Disgust perv on somebody’s body and Sadness let out a dreamy sigh and maybe some part of her could superficially agree with them, but _never_ was she going to open the door to the possibility of getting hurt once more.

It was simple really.

Lena’s happiness was the ultimate goal and if she did not let anyone in, then she could not get hurt, and if she could not get hurt, then she was only one step closer towards reaching said happiness.

This is why Fear was losing it as Lena entered the DEO with Alex.

“I work better alone.” Lena stated without any spite in her voice to Kara’s sister as they both walked side by side.

Turns out that Alex does _not_ work for the FBI, but for a secret government organization that deals with aliens called the Department for Extra-Normal Operations or DEO for short.

“We cannot leave you completely alone in the room with our research, let alone with the weapon; otherwise we’d be liable. I can put in a quiet guy to stand in the corner, I promise he won’t bother you at all as you examine everything.” Alex said to her as they turned the corner and headed to her office.

“That’s okay.” Lena agreed.

In HQ all of the emotions were enraptured by the place. It had high ceilings and cutting-edge technology was everywhere. It was impressive, at least for something funded with public money.

All of the emotions had been very excited when Alex had asked for Lena’s help. However, they thought Lena would be called in much later and that she would have plenty of more time to prepare and study on her own.

That was not the case.

It was only Tuesday afternoon after Friday’s karaoke night and here Lena was being shown to an office with a guy in the corner, a computer that had access to all the necessary materials and there, laying on the table, the infamous weapon.

Nevertheless, after las night's events, Lena was more than eager to assist in any way she could.

They needed to save National City from this menace as soon as possible.

* * *

Monday night all the emotions, except for Joy, found themselves lounging peacefully as Sadness—now seated on the commander’s chair—helped Lena take one of those nice long baths with lit candles and a glass of scotch.

Sadness really wanted to watch the perfect movie for a good cry, so she had Lena zapping through the channels on the TV installed in front of the bathtub in order to see if there was anything that met her requirements.

And that’s when she saw the news.

Supergirl was currently fighting this Agent Liberty guy and his powerful explosive weapon.

“Guys!” Sadness called everybody over to come watch.

Fear, the fastest of them all, was the first one to get back.

“No!” She shouted at the screen upon watching Kara getting shot at with the strange weapon.

Every emotion huddled up together behind Sadness as Fear uncontrollably smashed any button she could reach.

Lena dropped the glass of scotch outside the bathtub, pieces of glass flying to every corner of the bathroom floor.

“We need to go!” Fear yelled. “She needs help!”

Everybody looked at Fear as if she had two heads. Lena was only human, what could she do to actually help a superhero.

Just as Fear started to push Sadness out of the commander’s chair, Anger and Disgust grabbed her to try to prevent her from making Lena get out of the bathtub barefooted, lest she hurt herself.

“Stop it!” Sadness yelled at Fear. “Stop it! You’re gonna get Lena hurt!”

But Fear was relentless, she kept pushing against the other three emotions to try and get a hold of the controls, much like Joy would attempt every time she saw Kara.

Fear managed to reach a lever and Lena stood up on the bathtub, her eyes still glued to the screen.

Kara was on the floor now, her mouth and nose covered in blood.

“Please let me go! We gotta do something!” Fear yelled as she fought the other three.

“ _What is up with you?!”_ Sadness yelled at her. “You’ve never put Lena at risk! Not for anything and _most definitively_ not for anyone!”

That seemed to have caught Fear by surprise. She stopped fighting for a moment and just stood there.

“I don’t feel like myself.” Fear stated softly and then moved to plummet down on Sadness’ designated seat. “I feel so confused.” She said before covering her face with her hands.

The other three emotions felt really worried. Sadness was seating right beside her and both Anger and Disgust went to stand just behind her.

“What do you mean by that Fear? What do you mean when you say you feel _confused_?” Disgust asked for clarification.

Fear groaned in frustration before speaking. “It’s Kara she- she’s so kind and _ugh!_ I can’t stand it! She- she brings Lena food and makes sure to text her she misses her. She- She’s _beautiful_!”

“Plus she gets Lena, she knows what is like to not be able to be yourself, to have to keep up appearances in front of others… and she knows what it was like for Lena- for _us_ to go through being adopted after mom died. And she wants to do different than what our background’s dictate, she wants us to do better than Lex and Clark!” Fear’s voice became hoarser as she spoke.

“She’s even able to calm me and Sadness’ anxiety. For Christ’s sake! She brought _Joy_ back into our lives! I don’t-”

Fear uncovered her face. “I don’t understand anything. I don’t understand what I’m feeling. I just know that we need to help her and this heat, this warmth in my chest- I don’t know what to do with it, but it’s telling me to go out there and _fucking_ do something!” Fear yelled.

Sadness, Disgust and Anger were completely taken aback. If there was one defining characteristic about Fear, it was that she never swore.

“You’re in love. What- what you just described… that’s love.” Joy was standing just at the end of the hall that led to their rooms, looking weak and supporting herself on the wall.

Fear stood up abruptly. “T-that _can’t_ be.”

For some reason, Fear started to give off a hostile vibe towards Joy and the other three emotions unconsciously noticed it. Trying to diffuse the tension, Disgust moved to stand in the path between Fear and Joy.

“Joy,” Disgust started to say as she looked from side to side between the two. “you don’t know what you’re talking about. Fear- she _never_ falls in love.”

Joy frowned in confusion. “But she _is_ , just take the look of her… she’s shaking and sweating and losing it over Kara getting hurt. Losing it enough to risk Lena’s life.”

“If that’s not love, then my name’s not Joy.” She said with resoluteness.

Fear ran towards Joy and Disgust tried to stop her as best she could, but it proved impossible. She was a woman on a mission.

Upon reaching her, Fear grabbed Joy by the collar, pulling on it menacingly.

“Is that was this is?!” Fear asked Joy. Tears had welled up in Fear’s eyes and her cheeks had become extremely red.

“Yes.” Joy confirmed.

The other three emotions were in complete shock. They had never known Fear to become violent. They all stepped closer just in case they needed to prevent Fear from hurting Joy.

“It’s- it’s _terrifying_.” Fear replied and then let go of Joy and ran back to the console.

Fear made Lena step carefully around the glass and then take her phone and call a helicopter to the roof of her building.

LCorp most definitively does not fabricate weapons, but there were _some_ weapons still left in a vault from when Lex was running the company.

They arrived at the site where the fight was taking place, and the helicopter flew above it all, giving Lena the best vantage point possible.

Lena was dressed in all black and wore a face-mask, just in case the media filmed her and broadcasted it on national television.

“James! Thank you for agreeing to do this.” Lena expressed her gratitude towards one of Kara’s super friends. Friday night they got to talking about weird talent’s each one possessed and after Lena confessed that she could play the harmonica, James had explained that he was currently taking helicopter piloting lessons.

James saluted Lena. “I’ve always wanted to do this kind of stuff, can’t let Kara have all the fun!”

Back in HQ all of the emotions were seated on their designated chairs. Joy was not strapped because she was too weak to stand on her own, let alone control Lena.

They all watched Kara lift her arms up in a cross to defend herself from an incoming explosion.

Anger’s eyes turned a burning red.

“This one’s all you!” Fear told Anger.

Anger nodded with determination and then stood up in front of the control panel. She pushed five red buttons at the same time and then pulled down her badass lever. She then stepped back, pushing her chair in that direction as well with the back of her knees.

The ground opened up and from the floor rose a huge musical instrument: The double bass.

Anger let out a little fire from her mouth and ears right before positioning herself just behind the instrument with the neck of it resting on her chest and off to the side of her face. Anger then leaned a bit forward and pushed another button on the console. Said button ejected the double bass’ _bow_ from the control panel and Anger instinctively caught it in the air.

The first note she played was utterly jarring, it was deep in a way that echoed on every of the other emotion’s chests and from then on Anger herself became a musical explosion.

Lena took a weapon that had been designed by her brother and aimed it at Agent Liberty.

Anger’s fingers traveled from all the way up on the instrument’s neck—right beside her ear—to all the way down to about her knees, in quick fashion. The melody, powerful and fast like a raging bull.

Lena pulled the trigger and out went a _black mass_ towards the target.

It hit Agent Liberty on his upper leg and then the black mass expanded both downwards towards his foot and upwards towards his pelvis, immobilizing him.

Sadness, Disgust and Fear all jumped up in a cheer. Joy tried to lift her arms in celebration but felt too weak to do it.

Anger continued to play, her red eyes cemented on the screen. The notes were raspier and unpredictable, chaotic and beautiful all at the same time.

Agent Liberty, still being able to move his upper body, tried to shoot his weapon once more.

Kara was instantaneously right beside him. She drew her arm back with all her might and then delivered the strongest of punches to the man’s face, rendering him unconscious.

Anger played the last remnants of her song and after she was done, she stepped away from the double bass and the instrument went back under the floor.

“Fuck yeah!” She fist-bumped the air and let out even more flames out of her eyes and ears.

Once the flames were gone, Fear, Sadness and Disgust all ran towards her to give her a big hug.

Joy watched the whole scene from her seat and fell proud to be a part of this team.

* * *

There was simply no question about it, Lena Luthor was smart. Like really smart. Some people thought that she was just born that way and there was nothing much to it, but that was simply not the truth. Lena was smart thanks to a symbiotic combination of two elements: Incredible pain-inducing hard work and a sophisticated machinery inside her mind for storing information.

Most of Lena’s brain had rows upon rows of stacked memories and the archival team was excellent at keeping everything categorized perfectly.

While Joy rested for the day, the other four emotions got to work.

Lena was reading all of the information about Agent Liberty's case.

Agent Liberty, also known as Benjamin Lockwood, was a former history professor of National City University. After being captured last night,—in no small part thanks to Lena—he was currently in custody after being interrogated by DEO agents that very morning.

As Fear read from the screen, memory sphere after memory sphere was created and archived.

“His father died during the alien attack last year.” Anger said aloud as she also read from the screen.

“Possible motive for becoming an alien-hating-killer then…” Sadness concluded.

“His home got destroyed too during that time.” Disgust pointed out.

Ben Lockwood was also the leader of an entire organization called Children of Liberty, dedicated to eliminating the so-called ‘alien threat’ from National City.

“This man is filled with so much pain.” Sadness observed.

“That doesn’t justify anything! Look at this shit, he finds refugee hideouts and then bombs them! He’s killed hundreds of aliens!” Anger countered. “He doesn’t have to use that pain for something so horrible.”

“True.” Sadness conceded.

During his interrogation that morning, the most they had gotten out of him was that there were more weapons like the one the DEO had just confiscated from him and that the Children of Liberty were more than ready to wreak havoc across the city if they did not release him.

This meant that they were working under a time-frame.

“Let’s just check the weapon already and see what we can find.” Disgust suggested.

“Okay yeah.” Fear moved the controls and Lena grabbed the weapon to take a closer look.

Pressing down a button on the lower edge of the control panel, Fear made a mic pop up from the console.

Then she spoke right into it: “Data base on materials.”

An entire set of spheres came down from a tube, ready to be inspected.

All of the emotions looked from the screen, to the set of spheres conglomerated off to the side of it, comparing one with the other.

“Is that one!” Anger pointed to the set of spheres. “That blue sphere, third row, fifth one from the left.” She specified.

Fear pushed a button and the sphere that Anger had just pointed at opened up on the side of what was now a split screen.

The memory showed Lena back in college taking her Materials Science class and the professor up front talking about titanium alloys.

Sadness and Disgust agreed with what Anger had identified, but Fear was not so sure. She pulled down a lever and made Lena move the weapon up and down in order to check its weight.

“This is too light to be titanium.” Fear countered.

“But it feels just as strong.” Anger countered back.

“If it looks just as strong,” Sadness started to say. “But it’s lighter…” Then she pushed some buttons on the console and opened up another memory on the split screen.

The memory showed an article Lena had recently read about new research being developed on Magnesium-based alloys.

“You’re right.” Disgust agreed. “That would explain why it feels so light.”

“Let's make sure though.” Fear requested.

Anger got to work.

The screen split a third time and the side farthest to the left (right in front of Anger) started to show a mathematical equation.

Fear made Lena check the weapon’s weight on a scale available in the office and then made Lena measure its width and length as well.

“Thank you. Those are all the constants I need.” Anger thanked Fear and filled in the gaps on the equation with the new information.

“If it was titanium, according to the weapon’s size, it should’ve weighted this.” Anger pointed to the first number of the solved equation. “This other number here,” She pointed to another equation she had just solved. “more closely matches its actual weight.” Anger explained to the group.

“And that’s the equation assuming that the weapon is magnesium-based.” Disgust stated with a smile.

“It is.” Anger confirmed.

“Then we all agree that the weapon is made of a magnesium-based alloy, right?” Fear asked for confirmation and the other three emotions expressed their concurrence.

Then Sadness got to work. She leaned down on the mic and said: “Data base of possible manufacturers.”

Fear read the entire lists of manufacturers, but it was just too obvious which one it was.

Every other possible manufacturer had started research on the material as recently as three years ago. There was only one that had started development way earlier than the competition.

“LexCorp circa 2005.” Fear read aloud.

“Only Lena’s brother could have made a breakthrough decades ago… that just recently other companies are starting to figure out.” Disgust concluded.

“Plus he hates aliens just as bad as Agent Liberty.” Sadness added.

“It’s got to be him then.” Fear agreed.

“He’s not stupid, he always builds in a fail-safe… We have to check all of the weapon’s blueprints that we still have at his vault and figure out the different fail-safes he has designed over the years. Chances are that he designed something similar for this particular weapon.” Anger voiced with determination.

About fifteen minutes had passed since Lena had entered the room and started examining everything. On her way out, she met Alex.

“Forgot something back at LCorp?” Alex quipped upon realizing that in such a short amount of time Lena was already on her way to the exit.

Lena shook her head. “No, I just already finished with everything in there and I need to get back to my office to look into some other things.”

Alex gaped at the other woman in utter shock.

* * *

That night as Lena stayed up late in her office going through every blueprint she possessed of Lex’s weapon designs, she realized that none of the fail-safes depicted would fit on Agent Liberty’s weapon. She’s started to get really frustrated about the whole thing and just when she got up to pour herself a glass of scotch, Supergirl was standing right on her office’s balcony waving hello.

Lena veered her path from her collection of spirits and went to open her balcony’s door.

Lena and Kara hugged each other and then entered the office together and sat on the white couch at the back.

Fear felt so nervous about meeting Kara having realized how she felt about her just 24 hours prior.

“Lena…” Kara let out in a whisper, her face somber. “We need to talk.”

Fear and Sadness immediately started to hold hands.

Lena nodded for Kara to continue.

“As much as I appreciate what you did last night, I- I can’t condone it.” Kara admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “You put yourself in danger, you put James in danger…”

Everybody at HQ looked to the floor in shame, mostly trying to avoid Fear’s eyes because she had been the one crazy enough to even attempt all of that.

“And of course I appreciate you wanting to help… Alex just told me that you had a breakthrough after only a few minutes of examining the investigation and that- that’s amazing.” Kara gave Lena half a smile.

“But you’re human. You’re- you’re _mortal_.” There was a moment of silence after that.

The emotions did not even know how to respond to that.

Then Kara let out a sniff, she was crying. “I could- I could never forgive myself if I ever l-lost you.”

All of the emotions at HQ looked to Fear.

“It’s time.” Disgust was the first one to speak out.

“You have to tell her.” Sadness encouraged.

“It’s only right that she knows.” Anger reasoned.

After meeting all of the other emotion’s eyes, Fear took in a deep breath before taking a key out of her pocket and inserting it inside a keyhole on the console, a new big red button appeared and Fear pressed it.

“I love you.” Lena told Kara with conviction.

Kara let out a little gasp.

“I know it was reckless of me to do that, but I love you and I will never just stand by and watch you get hurt.”

It was out there, Lena’s feelings were finally out there for Kara to know.

All four emotions held hands as they expectantly waited for Kara’s response.

Kara smiled softly and then pulled Lena closer, pressing her against her own body.

“I love you too.” Kara said to her lips right before kissing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww they're in love yay! <3<3<3
> 
> PS: I don't know anything about science or psychology for that matter, not even about musical instruments... or all that much about Supergirl to begin with and everything on this fic is made up.
> 
> a.k.a. do NOT take me seriously! :P


	13. Checkmate

“I love you too.” Kara said to her lips right before kissing them.

All four emotions at HQ stood up and cheered. The scene looked like Huston celebrating when the Apollo 11 landed safely on the moon back in ’69.

Disgust and Anger hugged, Sadness lifted Fear up in her arms; there were big smiles and laughs all around and perhaps a few happy tears.

“What’s all this ruckus about?” Joy asked the group, again she was standing supporting herself on the hallway wall that led to their bedchambers.

The other four emotions ran towards her and lifted her in their arms as if she had scored the winning touchdown, right before the football game had ended. Joy, the beautiful yellow wide-receiver of this small team.

Whilst up in the air, Joy pointed at the tube where new memories came in. “Look! That’s one of mine!”

The other emotions turned to see that in fact a new yellow sphere was coming in to be archived in Lena’s memory.

They started to chant: _We’re in love! We’re in love! We’re in love! We’re in love!_ At the same time that they threw Joy up and down in the air.

Joy laughed to the point of coughing, even though she still did not understand what was going on.

The emotions continued to carry her until they reached her chair and then put her down. Anger kneeled before her, taking her hands.

“Joy, thank you so much for coming into our lives.” Anger started to say with tears in her eyes.

The other emotions had gathered just behind her and were also holding back their tears.

“From me and all of the guys, we want to tell you that we love you and that you’re part of our little weird family right here in Lena’s mind.” Anger then kissed Joy’s hand and then let go and stood up.

All of the emotions had formed a line, as if taking turns to speak to their queen. Sadness was next.

Sadness kneeled down as well and hugged Joy’s torso. “We love you so much. Thank you for showing me that Lena doesn't always have to cry all alone.” She then stood up and peppered a kiss on Joy’s cheek.

Then came Disgust.

“We’re all so happy that you’re here. Thanks to you Joy I am no longer alone when it comes to taking care of Lena’s sense of humor, plus I finally got to kiss someone. Thank you for giving me that.” Disgust hugged Joy and then gave her a small wink, referencing the winks Joy is always throwing at everybody.

Then came Fear.

Fear also knelt down and took Joy’s hand to give it a big kiss. Happy tears were streaming down her face. “What can I say Joy? What can I say that hasn’t already been said?” Both of them let out a little chuckle at that.

“Thank you. Thank you for bringing happiness into Lena’s life and thank you for showing me what love is. You've become a very dear friend to me.” Fear then leaned over and hugged Joy with all the warmth and tenderness in the world.

“Uh… guys.” Anger called out to the others, she was already standing behind her designated chair.

All of the others turned to address her. “What is it?”

“I think- uh- I think they’re about to have sex in Lena’s office.” Anger pointed at the screen.

The other four turned to look at the screen.

Lena was decidedly on top of Kara kissing the living daylights out of her.

All the emotions looked to Joy with soft eyes. She looked so fragile… there was no way she could take over and make this a happy love-making.

“I can do it!” Joy said with firmness, and just when the other emotions were about to protest she interrupted them by speaking again.

“I can do it… with a little help.” Joy announced. “Let’s all play our instruments.” She suggested to the other four emotions.

Sadness, Disgust, Anger and Fear were taken aback by this.

“We usually don’t play together. It’s too much on Lena and not pleasant at all.” Sadness countered.

“You’ve never played with me in the group.” Joy argued back.

“She’s right.” Disgust agreed.

Ultimately, they all turned to look at Fear, expectantly waiting for their commander to tell them what to do.

Fear took in a deep breath and then smiled at the group. “Let’s do it!”

The five of them positioned themselves. Joy at the commander's seat and Fear on the far right.

Anger pressed five red buttons at the same time and then pulled her powerful lever, stepping back to allow space for the double bass to show up.

Disgust pressed four green buttons and then pulled down a lever. The console opening up to show a viola and its bow. She took both and waited at the ready.

Fear pressed down two purple buttons and then pulled down a lever. Her dear violin came into the scene.

Sadness, on her part, pressed down three blue buttons and then pulled down a lever. After taking a step back, a cello started to emerge from the ground.

With the string quartet ready, they all looked to Joy expectantly.

Joy turned her face to her left and right with a big smile before pushing down a yellow button and then pulling a lever down. The console expanded and her piano keyboard appeared.

Sadness opened the melody with a profound sound, then Anger followed with an even deeper accompanying harmony.

Lena clashed her mouth against Kara’s, the kiss passionate and wet. Kara’s eyebrows rose with surprise as she tried to keep up with Lena’s intensity.

Then both Fear and Disgust entered the melody a several octaves higher than the other two.

Lena leaned back and took her own blouse off. Her eyes a piercing green that completely enraptured Kara.

Finally, Joy entered with the key melody, a sweet slow tune that instantly evoked the word _romance_ on everybody’s mind.

Lena leaned back down to kiss Kara and then lower to kiss her neck and collar-bone.

After that, Anger and Sadness diverged. Anger turning into the true base for the entire composition and Sadness delving into a deeper harmony for Fear and Disgust.

And Lena Luthor, well… Lena Luthor made love like never before in her entire life.

She helped Kara take off the lower part of her super-suit, leaving her in her panties. Kara did not have any time to figure up from down, at one moment Lena was sucking on her neck and groping her breast, the next second she was biting her inner thighs.

Lena helped Kara out of her underwear and then peppered kissed around her mount, on her thighs, even her knees and when she finally got to her final destination, it was Kara’s turn to see stars.

Lena delved playfully, exploring to find out what Kara liked the most according to the sounds coming from her mouth. After figuring out what worked, she persisted until the very end.

Kara came undone in a matter of minutes, pulling Lena by the shoulders to kiss her with gratitude.

How naïve though, because Lena was nowhere near done.

She lowered one of her hands and started stroking Kara with gentleness as the kiss turned from sweet to wanton.

The melody back in HQ shifted to something perhaps more sensual or at the very least towards the kind of melody that stays in someone’s core long after it is over.

The temperature steadily began to rise and the emotions took advantage of gaps in the melody, where their instrument was not needed, to start taking off their blazers and/or to unbutton their shirts.

With a magnificent solo from Joy, Lena entered Kara and began thrusting at the pace of Anger’s deep bass.

The beat of the song quickened as Anger started to hasten the pace.

Lena thrusted faster and started sucking on Kara’s neck; biting it harshly, wanting to mark her even though she knew it was not a possibility.

But by God did she wish it was.

If you slowed down what was happening at HQ, you could see Fear splashing sweat from her face as she moved energetically to and fro with her torso whilst playing her violin; you could see Disgust, who had unbuttoned her shirt completely and taken it off without actually bothering to pull it out from inside her slacks, leaving it hanging from her pelvis as if it were a pair of suspenders and now playing her viola in only a bra.

You could see Sadness with her eyes closed in pure unmitigated concentration, tears streaming down her face as she feverishly played her cello. You could also see Anger with her eyes entirely focused on the screen, sweat flying from lost strands of hair that had loosen from her ponytail as she tried to keep the rhythm for everybody to follow.

Last, but most surely not least, you could see Joy played with her eyes closed and a peaceful smile on her face, sweat gathering on her forehead and running down her neck, as she carried the key tune of the composition with ease and grace.

Lena continued to thrust at a steady fast pace, loving the sounds that Kara was making right next to her ear.

The melody coming to a close as Joy played the last few notes, whilst the others held a long goodbye note.

Kara Danvers reached her climax once again, her hips undulating with aftershocks and after calming down she smiled at Lena with dilated pupils and pulled her in for another kiss.

The piece had ended and all the emotions turned with expectant smiles towards Joy, only to find her laying back on her chair, completely unconscious.

Anger, Disgust, Sadness and Fear all carefully lifted her up in their arms. Remarkably contrasting with the way they had brought her in with chants and cheers, now they all quietly carried her over to her room with somber solemn looks on each of their faces.

Lena and Kara fell asleep in each other’s arms.

* * *

The next morning all of the emotions went to check on Joy.

Fear was leading the pack, she stood in front of the door and knocked. “Joy? We just wanna check on you? Last night was probably really rough on you… are you okay?” She asked sheepishly.

After a few moments, they did not hear any sounds coming from the other side of the door.

Fear decided to knock again. “Joy? Are you awake?” She asked in a louder voice.

The four of them waited for Joy to say something, but they were met with silence once again.

Sadness placed her hand on the knob, but Fear stopped her.

“What are you doing?” Fear asked her.

“I’m gonna check if she’s okay.” Was Sadness’ simple answer.

Fear let go of her hand and Sadness turned the knob and pushed the door open.

They could see Joy on the bed turning and tossing from side to side.

Anger reacted immediately, running over to her side and trying to shake her awake.

“Joy! Joy wake up! You’re having a nightmare! Wake up!” Anger said as she tried to wake her.

The other went to stand right behind her, watching the scene unfold.

“I want out!” Joy yelled awake.

Anger held her in her arms. “Shh… it’s okay, you’re okay.” She rubbed her arm up and down for comfort.

Joy looked… _bad_ , to say the least.

She had big grey eye-bags under her eyes and she looked paler than usual.

The rest of the emotions sat around Joy and Anger.

“I don’t want to go back there!” Joy yelled into Anger’s chest.

“Back where?” Disgust asked.

“Back to where I felt all alone and sad. Sometimes- sometimes I feel as if I’m still there, it feels like I haven’t left at all.” Joy said between tears as Anger began to rock her back and forth trying to comfort her.

“Oh sweetie…” Anger held Joy as tight as possible. “You’re here. You’re with us safe and sound.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m in two places at once. I open my eyes and I’m here, but I’m always there when I close them.” Joy said between cries.

Fear was really worried. She did not know Joy’s condition also included horrible nightmares.

“We need to talk to the doctor about this.” Fear concluded.

The other emotions bad-eyed her.

“What?” Fear frowned. “The doctor might help her…” She tried to justify.

“You’re so insensitive sometimes.” Sadness accused.

In the end they did do as Fear had suggested and later in the morning the doctor came and took Joy over to the med bay for further examination.

* * *

At some point during Lena’s childhood, Lex had become her hero. He was about 14 years her senior and taught her how to play chess and the harmonica.

Lena took to both easily and even at only six years old, the student began to defeat the teacher. Lex had great respect for Lena because of that, or at least this is what she believed for a while.

Later on as he was driven to madness he told an eight-year old Lena that he saw her as nothing more than a pawn.

Fear, Sadness, Anger and Disgust all agreed to ship their memories of Lex to Box island, where they could no longer come as intrusive thoughts whilst Lena worked on her science fair school project for that year.

Lex and Lena never saw each other after that.

Then he massacred 114 people when trying to eliminate Superman.

Nothing was right after that, her adoptive father had recently died when she had just turned seven and now her brother was in prison, never to be heard of again.

Lillian took over LexCorp and turned it into a force to advance her prejudice. After some terrible dealings with the underground world, she got caught for, wait for it… _insider trading_. As if that was he worse thing she had ever done.

Still, never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Lena was now fresh out of an accelerated degree at MIT and ready to take on as the CEO of what is now known as LCorp.

The rest, as they say… is history.

As Lena was led into the visitor’s room and first laid eyes on an orange-dressed Lex, she was completely baffled.

“He like- lost all of his hair omg…” Disgust said aloud what everybody else was thinking.

“He looks just like Lionel, it’s uncanny.” Sadness commented.

Both Anger and Fear agreed with both remarks. Joy was still at the doctor’s.

Lena hated that she needed her brother’s help in order to figure out how to activate the fail-safe in Agent Liberty’s weapon.

Lex cleared up his throat before speaking to Lena.

“Dear dear sister of mine. How are you? Haven’t seen you in what… like fourteen years give or take a few days…?” His voiced seemed cheery but phony.

Anger frowned at him. “What’s up with that? Why is he acting so excited?”

“Maybe he’s actually happy to see Lena?” Sadness offered as an answer.

Disgust and Anger laughed at that.

“Yeah right!” Anger said in disbelief.

Fear then gestured for Anger to take over the controls.

“Listen Lex, I’m here for one thing and one thing only.” Lena stated with firmness as she sat down in front of his brother, but before she could continue she was interrupted.

“I know why you’re here and I promise that you’ll get your answers, but I need something from you first.” Lex said with a sweet voice and them smiled in a phony way.

Fear started to shake her head. “This doesn’t smell good… This doesn’t smell good at all.” She warned.

Anger’s eyes started to glow red.

“ _What_ do you want!?” Lena bit back.

“I want you to visit mom.” Lex answered still in a sweet voice. “Oh how she misses her little Lena, her only daughter.”

Disgust cocked an eyebrow at that. “What? Why does he want Lena to visit Lillian?”

“I don’t know, but I really don’t like where this is going. He holds all the cards right now.” Fear started to freak out.

Smoke started to come out of Anger’s ears.

“Tell me what I want to know and I promise that I’ll visit mother.” Lena tried to bargain, her fists clenched in barely there self-control.

“Uh-uh…” He said shaking his index finger from side to side. “You know this is not how the game works my dear sister. _First_ you visit mom and _then_ I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

Anger let fire out of her mouth and ears.

Lena slammed her fist on the table. “How do I even know that you really have the answers that I need?!” She yelled at her brother.

“You need a way to deactivate Agent Liberty’s weapon… And since I designed it myself, I happen to know all about deactivating it.” He answered in a sing-song voice.

Fear slumped back on her seat. “Checkmate.” She concluded.

Anger yelled profanities at the screen.

Lena stood up abruptly from her chair and turned around in order to leave the room.

“Hey by the way… what happened to your face?” Lex took a jibe at Lena, referencing the Band-Aid she still wore on the side of her face, after getting hurt during the explosion.

Lena decided to ignore his taunt.

“I’ll be back!” Was the last thing she said before a guard locked the door behind her.

* * *

“He didn’t tell me anything!” Lena complained to Kara that Wednesday afternoon. “Now I have to go visit my mother instead!”

Anger was controlling Lena now and the other three were taking a coffee break for the moment.

“That really sucks Lena, I’m so sorry.” Kara told her as she came to sit beside her on the couch of Lena’s apartment.

“We still have a bit of time. The Children of Liberty haven’t done anything yet and we’re still interrogating their leader, he might crack.” Kara offered as way of consolation.

“It’s just- It’s so frustrating! I just want to get this over with. I _know_ he built a fail-safe, he knows that I know it exists and still won’t tell me anything until I play the doting daughter with Lillian?! I’m just so happy that I’m not actually related to those two!” Lena let out through gritted teeth.

Kara then pulled her closer in her arms and started stroking her hair. “It’s frustrating, I know.”

Anger let out a soft smile at that.

“It is, it really is. I can’t believe he’s putting so many lives in danger just for some arbitrary request from mother…” Lena’s voice shifted to something softer now and then she started to laugh, sort of a mini-evil laugh.

Kara did not know where the laugh was coming from. “What’s goin’ on? Why are you laughing?”

Lena continued laughing in that sort of machiavellian way instead of answering Kara’s question until the point that Kara started laughing with her.

“Why are you laughing?” Lena asked Kara between laughs.

“I dunno!” Kara said between giggles.

“I’m laughing because, I just can’t believe I said that I thought my brother the terrorist would do better than putting people at risk!” Lena finally answered.

Kara stopped laughing immediately.

_Oh._

“I’m so sorry.” Kara said bashfully, her cheeks rosy with embarrassment.

“It’s okay.” Lena leaned closer against Kara. “You didn’t know.”

Disgust and Fear started approaching the console after having finished their coffees, Sadness stayed on the break room drinking some water.

“So how was it seeing him after all these years?” Kara pulled Lena in for her head to lie on her chest, just under her chin.

Anger banged the console in irritation.

“I’m sorry Kara, but I can barely talk about it… he just made me so _angry_.” Lena explained.

“How come?” Kara started to stroke Lena’s long black hair.

Lena shrugged. “Because he still holds this _power_ over me and I hate that. I hate that he made me feel six years old all over again.” She spoke in all honesty.

“I think I can understand, Clark has a very particular way of making me feel like a total noob.” Kara tried to empathize.

“It’s something like that for me yeah… Alex- she doesn’t make you feel like that, right?” Lena wondered as Disgust took the reins from Anger.

“Alex?! No no… Alex doesn’t make me feel inadequate or anything- Well maybe a little bit, but only because she’s a highly trained government official and when I started out I had never received any special training or anything. Now we’re good though, now she sees me as her equal.” Was Kara’s rambled answer.

“I see. Well, I guess older siblings always have a way of making us feel a bit inferior, huh? Even if some of us happen to be able to fly.” Lena quipped.

“Alex can fly too!” Kara added.

Upon Lena’s confusion, Kara spoke again.

“Planes, helicopters, jets…” She started counting with her fingers in a joking manner.

Disgust suddenly got nervous because she knew that Kara had just made a joke, but it was going to prove impossible for her to make Lena laugh candidly like Joy did. So she gulped before pressing down her big red button.

Lena let out a disheartened little chuckle.

“Huh? You don’t like my jokes? How come you don’t like my jokes?” Kara started to poke Lena on the stomach, trying to get her to laugh.

“I’m not ticklish!” Lena informed her as she tried to push Kara’s hands away.

Kara pouted. “That’s just too bad.” She concluded and stopped trying to tickle Lena. After a beat, Kara spoke again.

“I’m so happy that you’re my date to Alex’s wedding! I can’t believe now it’s only two weeks away. Crazy, huh?” Shen then leaned in a kissed Lena’s cheek on top of the small bandage on her face.

By now, Sadness had already returned back to work and Fear ordered her to take over for this part.

“It means a lot to me that you invited me.” Lena said with nothing but sincerity.

Kara was thrown off a bit, she thought the conversation was on the playful side, but now Lena’s words veered into heartfelt territory. Taking it like a champ, she just strode on.

“It means a lot to me that you’re coming. I haven’t brought anyone for my family to meet in at least five years. I hope I’m not scaring you, but this is actually a pretty big deal.” Kara smiled all teeth and then took Lena’s hand in hers and kissed the back of it.

Fear was freaking out now. “Five years?!”

“That must mean Lena’s special.” Sadness reasoned.

Anger fist-bumped the air. “Fuck yeah she is!”

Fear could not take it anymore and slammed the first button she saw.

Lena let out a nervous look.

“No! Don’t freak out. Everything’s going to be okay. I’ve already told Eliza and Jeremiah all about you. They were very impressed, you’re practically family now!” Kara tried to cheer Lena up.

Sadness continued handling Lena.

“Thank you for saying that.” Lena let out a small smile.

Kara opened up her arms for Lena to come into an embrace.

Sadness sighed dreamily. “God do I love Kara’s hugs.”

She pulled down one of her dear switches and Lena moved into Kara’s arms.

* * *

“Okay doc, just give it to us straight.” Anger requested the doctor.

Sadness, Disgust, Anger and Fear were all at the conference room meeting with the doctor. Joy on her part, had gone straight to her bedroom, citing that going through all the tests had exhausted her.

“Truth is… we have even less answers than before and more questions than ever.” The doctor started.

“Did she ever tell you how she actually made her way here to HQ?” The doctor asked the group.

Fear answered the question. “Not the specifics, she just told us that she appeared on Kara’s island.”

“That’s correct yes. She appeared there only a few hours after construction was finished.” The doctor confirmed. “She was found by someone from the construction crew, they thought they had seen ‘ _a golden ghost_ ’.”

“During our research we interviewed this crewman and he explained that upon first glance, Joy looked translucent. _That’s_ why he thought she was some sort of specter.”

All of the emotions started to feel on edge with the doctor’s roundabout way of explaining things.

Then she continued. “She’s only getting worse. The supplements are no longer keeping her stable. Just one hit and we might lose her.”

The mood in the room shifted.

“What do you mean 'one hit'?” Disgust asked for clarification.

The doctor swallowed before answering. “The worse one I can imagine is that Kara breaks up with Lena, but since she’s in such a fragile state, any type of strenuous circumstance in Lena’s life might- _kill_ her.”

Sadness started to cry.

Anger stood up abruptly from her chair and punched the side wall of the room.

Disgust and Fear did not show any outer emotions. Nonetheless, an entire universe of pain existed in both of their minds.

After a few moments, the doctor spoke again. “She talked to us about her nightmares. Every time she closes her eyes she goes to this cold dark place where she feels sad and alone.”

“The pit.” Sadness voiced out her suspicions. “All this time she was in that pit, forgotten, and Kara somehow got her out.” She managed to say between tears.

“That’s what we’ve concluded as well, yes.” The doctor agreed.

Fear felt like she wanted to die herself. “What can we do? How can we help her get better? Can we donate some of our emotions to her? We’ll do _anything_.” She told the doctor in earnest.

The doctor shook her head. “Donation is not possible between you five. You are all made of very different components.”

Anger punched the wall once again. “Tell us what can be done!” Fire came out of her mouth and ears.

That frightened the doctor, but after a moment she answered: “She can’t keep overextending herself like she’s been doing lately… She needs to rest. We’re upping the supplement’s dosage and we are not giving up, we’ll keep researching other possibilities. In the meantime, please understand that Lena’s ability to feel joy is at serious risk. Kara _cannot_ break up with her. Joy would not survive that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Can't wait to read your reactions to this chapter.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	14. Baggage

They got a wheelchair for Joy.

She herself told everybody that it felt really good to be able to move anywhere she wanted to without having to run out of breath.

Still, Fear’s heart sank the first time she saw Joy wheeling herself into HQ with the use of a little _joy_ stick.

 _How ironic_.

Everybody else seemed to take it just as hard, but they only showed it once they were out of Joy's sight. In front of her was a whole different thing, filled with smiles and gestures of soft affection.

In other news, the Children of Liberty did attack the city. They started with a somewhat important bridge just that morning and by the afternoon they had exploded a postal office. At night Kara managed to stop them from exploding a court house.

In the meantime, turns out that Lillian’s been keeping busy. The clerk at her prison told Lena that her mother was booked with visitors for the next two days and that she could come in on Saturday.

Lena insisted that she was Lillian’s daughter and that she probably took precedence over the other visitors, but the clerk explained that they work on a first come, first serve basis.

Upon hearing that, Anger literally threw her chair at the screen, making it glitch and break thus giving Lena a terrible headache.

Needless to say, they called the maintenance crew as soon as the flames coming out of every orifice on Anger’s face had subdued.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself Lena. I could not stop them from exploding the bridge and J’onn just got back from Mars and he hasn’t even been able to read Lockwood's mind.” Kara started to cheer up Lena, but upon saying the last two things, she depressed herself. “Ugh! I feel like we can’t catch a break.”

Sadness let out a soft smile, before pulling down a switch.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself either.” Lena told Kara as she caressed her hair.

Both women were laying down on Lena’s bed for a sleepover.

“But I’m the _super_ element of our team, I should be able to do more!” Kara complained.

Lena scoffed. “You’re doing plenty Kara. Nobody thinks otherwise.”

Kara held Lena a little bit tighter. “You’re also doing plenty.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Fear had asked Joy if she wanted to control Lena for when Kara came over to sleep, but Joy had politely refused; citing that she did not feel able to, but that she still wanted to sit in front of the console and watch Kara because it made her happy.

“I’m so happy I found you.” Kara told Lena. “I don’t know what kind of woman could deal with all this baggage.” She said, pointing at herself.

“You think _you’re_ the one that has baggage?” Lena asked in disbelief.

“Oh missy! I have _way_ more baggage than you!” Kara replied in a joking tone.

“I think I have you beat, what with my brother…” Lena tried to plead her case.

Anger started to laugh. “Kara’s crazy if she thinks she’s the one with more baggage.”

Kara let out a little grunt. “Okay okay… I won't bring up my home-planet exploding then just so you can win.” She surrendered. “But in comparing Lex to Clark, I do have it a little bad, but in a different way: I have to live under his shadow; I have to both _meet_ and _surpass_ his expectations.”

Fear let out a little yelp. “At least we don’t have to meet Lex’s expectations.” she conceded in front of the group.

"At least our planet didn't explode!" Disgust elbowed Fear. "You're so insensitive sometimes!" 

Fear let out a little yelp. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" 

Sadness continued controlling Lena.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it a competition, I was only joking.” Lena replied.

“Don't worry about it. I know you were only playing.” Kara pressed her lips against Lena’s to give her a little peck. “But you do know it’s not a competition, right? You have your baggage and I have mine and we can carry the whole thing in a moving van. In the end, it’ll be alright because we have each other.”

“You’re right.” Lena agreed.

* * *

Around those days, Sam gave Lena one of those check-up calls, to catch up on each other’s weeks and after learning that Lena would soon visit her mother, she requested an _emergency-brunch_ from Lena that happened to be scheduled on the morning of the very same Saturday said visit would occur.

“Okay okay, but why can’t you just not do it, and tell Lex that you did?” Sam asked her after she was done relaying the entire story for a second time (the first time had been over the phone two days prior).

Lena and Sam were seated at Lena’s kitchen counter eating their brunch. Sadness insisted that Lena take a sip of her mimosa before answering the question.

“He’ll probably be expecting a call from mother confirming that I did in fact visit her.” Lena explained.

Sam groaned in frustration. “But you hate your mother…”

Anger fist-bumped the air. “She gets us! She totally gets us!” She exclaimed.

All five emotions were watching the two women interact. Joy on her part, had replaced her usual chair with the new wheelchair.

Fear placed her hand on Sadness’ back. “Give her a short answer. She obviously wants to know what we need from Lex that’s so important for us to talk to the devil and we really can’t delve into that without telling her that Lena’s dating Supergirl.”

“I do…” Was Lena’s noncommittal answer.

Sam leaned even closer, expecting Lena to continue speaking. After being met with silence she eyed the black haired woman suspiciously.

“You’re hiding something some from me.” Sam accused. “That’s not like you.”

Fear panicked at that. Sam was right, she was Lena’s _pal and confidante_. What if Sam told Lena to take a hike? After all, what was the point of being best friends if Lena was not going to share her struggles.

Fear sighed. “Just tell her the truth. Tell her that we _are_ keeping something from her and that we can’t tell her.

Sadness made Lena do as Fear had just ordered.

Sam looked to the side in thought. “Just by the look of your eyes I can tell that this is a very serious matter.” Then she shrugged. “I just want you to know that I love you and that you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” After that she gave Lena a soft smile and then elbowed her playfully.

“So… you and Kara, how is that going?”

Everybody at HQ sighed in relief.

Joy smiled softly in a private way. Her heart was filling with happiness at knowing that Lena had Sam in her life.

Sadness continued controlling Lena.

“I’m over the moon, _really_. I’ve never felt like this before.” Lena told Sam.

“Wait… are you- oh my God! Are you in love with her?” Sam smiled with excitement.

“I am.” Lena said in all honesty. “When I’m with her, I feel like I can do anything. I just get this surge of positive energy and it makes me look at everything in such a different light.”

Sam put her arm around Lena and let out a little squeal. “I’ve never seen you like this before. Look at you! Just talking about her makes you blush!” She teased.

Lena smiled a soft smile. The one only Sadness could produce.

Sam was thrown off by that. “Lena… what’s wrong?” she held her arm a bit tighter, trying to comfort her friend.

Lena’s eyes started watering.

“It’s just- When I say I’ve never felt like that before, I _really_ mean it. Kara’s shown me a happiness that- _gosh_ it just feels so new and when I’m _not_ with her, that feeling fades. I don’t feel invincible anymore, I feel like my old self and I’m just so scared of that.” Lena said, letting Sam know a very vulnerable part of her.

The emotions at HQ were all holding back tears.

All except for Sadness, who cried freely on top of the console as she did her job.

“I don’t want this feeling to end.” Lena let out through whimpers.

Sam stood up from the stool she had been sitting on to embrace Lena properly.

The two women stayed silent as they hugged each other. All that could truly be heard were a few whimpers coming from Lena.

In HQ, every emotion was visibly crying. Sadness had spoken what they had all been thinking.

After a few moments and whilst still holding Lena, Sam spoke.

“I’m happy that you found her. It sounds like she woke something in you, something powerful… but sweetie, you shouldn’t need another person in order to feel invincible. You’re Lena Luthor, the most amazing woman I have ever met. You _are_ invincible all on your own.”

Sam’s words caused great impact amongst all of the emotions at HQ.

Four of them wishing they were enough to make Lena happy and one of them wishing she was strong enough.

* * *

“Mother.”

“Lena.”

Both women sat one in front of the other with a small square table between them. They were almost alone in the room; a sole guard stood on the far corner.

Disgust sighed. “Here we go…”

“I see a call wasn’t enough, you also needed to use a bit of manipulation. What is it about being cramped up in here that makes you feel so motherly all of the sudden?”

“How was Lex?” Lillian asked, sidestepping Lena’s question.

“What do you want? Why am I here?” Lena ignored her question as well.

“Nothing much, just to see you…” was Lillian’s circumspect answer.

Anger was seething. “Let’s just get out of here! We visited her. _There_! _Done!"_

The other four emotions let out expressions of agreement.

Fear then let out a big sigh. “Honestly, if she’s not going to tell us what she wants, it really isn’t our duty to pry it out of her or anything. Let’s just go.” She ordered Disgust.

Disgust nodded and pressed her favorite button.

“Well, now you’ve seen me,” Lena stood up from her seat. “If that’s all, then I’ll be going now.”

Lillian quickly placed her hand on top of Lena’s, effectively stopping her from leaving.

“Sit down.” Lillian told her.

Lena squinted her eyes suspiciously, but nevertheless sat down.

“I get out in three months because of good behavior.” Lillian informed her.

Anger stood up abruptly. “Fuck no!”

“I want to start a foundation- when I get out, I’ll need something to keep me busy. Running a charity seems like the best option.” Lillian continued.

Disgust scoffed. “Money! She wants money, that’s what this is all about.”

“You want me to invest.” Lena stated, it was not really a question.

“Just three million dollars, nothing much really.” Lillian said.

Lena let out a frustrated sigh. “And what is this foundation about?”

“Just a bit of this and a bit of that… hosting dinners and the like.” Lillian answered evasively.

Anger’s eyes turned red and smoke started to come out of her ears. “We don’t have to sit here and play her games. Let’s just _go_!” She yelled at the other 4 emotions.

Joy never understood the interactions between Lena and her mother, but something definitively smelled fishy.

Fear looked to Disgust and gave the order.

Lena stood up once more.

“Politics.” Lillian said in a quiet voice. “I want to help finance campaigns.”

Anger had had it. Her mouth and ears let out flames and all of the emotions tried their best to dock out of the way, including Joy who had to pull back her joystick in order to step back from the console.

“This bitch! She wants us to finance her political beliefs? She’s an arrogant alien-hating bigot!” Anger screamed and then without requesting permission, pulled down her lever.

“Never! I’ll never help finance your political beliefs!” Lena told her mother decidedly.

Lillian sighed the deepest of sighs. “Where did we go wrong exactly? Was it the fancy clothes? The world-travelling? The Ivy League education?”

Joy panicked. “Guilt-trip!” She warned.

A hole opened up where Anger was standing, having just pulled down her lever.

Anger fell down, but managed grab on to the edge of the floor. “Help! Help me!” She called out.

Disgust and Fear lunged forward from where they had stepped back to escape from Anger’s flames in order to grab her hands.

Disgust got there first and quickly started pulling.

“It’s pulling me!” Anger shouted.

Fear got there too and started helping. “Hold on!”

Between the both of them, they saved Anger from going on a guilt-trip.

Sadness had already taken over the controls now.

“I thank you for everything that you gave me mother, but it was not me who put you in this position and if you’re looking for my help, let me tell you that you’re going about it the wrong way.” Lena spoke candidly.

Lillian was slightly taken aback by Lena’s response. It was not a cutting remark or snarky, but straightforward and honest.

She quickly recovered though.

“You think you’re so much better than all of us, don’t you?” Lillian goaded. “With your liberal ideas, your ‘morals’.” She spit out with bitterness.

The hole under Anger’s seat had closed up and after making sure she was okay, both Disgust and Fear returned to their seats.

Afraid of being forthcoming with Lillian again, Fear ordered Disgust to take over once more.

Disgust took out a keyboard from under the console and started typing.

Lena cocked her head to the side, carefully observing her mother before speaking. “I don’t think I’m better than all of you, I _know_ it.”

Anger patted Disgust on the back, congratulating her for what she made Lena say.

“And why is that? How can you be so sure?” Lillian asked her. The question seemed forthright, but something deep in Fear’s stomach told her that Lillian was setting Lena up.

Fear tried to stop Disgust from engaging with Lillian’s taunt, but she was too late.

“Because I’m adopted. Since I’m not really a Luthor, I don’t have that rotten blood running through my veins.” Lena bit back with a snide.

“Oh but you do. You think Lionel adopted you out of the kindness of his heart? He adopted you because you _are_ his blood. You’re the product of a whore and Lionel _Luthor_.” Lillian delivered the most hateful words Lena could ever hear.

All of the emotions lost it.

Anger started kicking the console as she yelled. “She’s lying! She’s fucking lying! She’s a liar! ”

Disgust had fallen to her knees, covering her face with her hands and murmuring to herself. “It can’t be true. It can’t be true. Lena’s not like them. Lena’s _good_.”

Sadness was blinking blankly at the screen with tears streaming down her eyes and her mouth quivering. She kept trying to wipe it all with her hands, but soon gave up that futile task.

Fear was catatonic. Staring at the screen completely unable to move.

Joy fell unconscious.

After a beat, everything happened at once.

Anger pulled down her lever, Disgust started smashing buttons whilst Fear and Sadness pressed and pulled anything they could reach.

Lena stood up with a swift motion, making the chair behind her fall to the ground. “That’s not true! You’re lying! That _can’t_ be true!” She yelled at Lillian, tears welling up in her eyes and face flushed red.

“But you must’ve known, somewhere deep down you knew… you knew that wt the end of the day you’re just like us.” Lillian taunted, now sadistically enjoying Lena’s reaction.

Lena slammed her hands on the visitor’s table. “Lies!”

Upon hearing the ruckus, the guard that had been standing on the corner staring at his phone, approached the women.

“Ms. Luthor, please calm down.” The guard advised her.

Back in HQ, the emotions continued to press every button on the console they could reach when suddenly Joy started convulsing.

Sadness was the first one to notice and seeing such a disturbing scene, snapped her out of her pain. She quickly grabbed Joy’s mouth, trying to prevent her from biting her own tongue.

Fear was the second one to notice. “Stop it!” She yelled at Anger and Disgust. “Stop it! You’re hurting her!”

Flashes came forth in Fear's mind: All of the emotions as children, dressed in little dresses of their particular color, smashing all the buttons on a small console. One of them, little kid Lena dressed in a yellow dress was convulsing on the floor.

Fear clenched her eyes shut, trying to make the images go away.

She opened her eyes to find Disgust holding Anger down, trying to get her to stop pressing the buttons on the control panel.

Off to the side, Sadness held on to Joy as her body shook and shook uncontrollably.

Fear rushed to help Sadness.

“Why is this happening?!” Sadness cried out to Fear.

“It’s happened before.” Was the only answer Fear could give her.

Sadness looked at Fear in confusion, they were both still trying to hold Joy down. “What do we do?”

Lena looked at the guard and then sidestepped him to get to the exit.

“You’re not getting a cent from me!” She yelled at her mother as she walked away.

Lena hurried her pace towards a bathroom, once she found it she entered and then closed the door behind her. She then crouched down and tried to control her breathing. She was hyperventilating and crying and everything was a _mess_.

She was a _Luthor_. She was infected and dirty like Lionel and Lex. Bound to become mad and obsessive. Meant to hurt people. Meant to be a force for evil, not for good.

How wrong had she been.

She was no different.

She was exactly the same.

Joy’s body stopped moving.

Disgust and Anger were now in an embrace, both of them crying.

Fear and Sadness looked at each other and hoped that whatever it was that had happened to Joy, was long over now.

“I’m not whole! I’m not whole.” Joy yelled, her eyes a bright pupil-less yellow. “I’m still there! I’m still there!” She shouted again.

Fear grabbed her by the shoulders. “You’re here! You’re here with us! You’re _safe_!”

“No! No! No! I never left! I never even left!” Joy cried out.

“Are you in the pit?!” Sadness asked her in a rush. “Are you still in the pit?!”

“It’s dark! It’s so dark and cold!” Joy’s eyes were still a bright yellow.

Sadness looked to Fear, not knowing what to do.

“We’ll find you!” Anger yelled. She and Disgust were now standing near the other 3, apparently having calmed down. “Tell us where you are and we’ll come find you!”

Joy reacted immediately, she got up from her chair and walked towards the wide window at the back of the office, everybody followed. Once she reached it, Joy extended her hand and pointed downwards.

“There.” She said. Her eyes still blanked in a yellow light.

All of the emotions looked down towards the pit.

“We’ll find you.” Anger assured her.

“We will.” Disgust joined.

“We’ll make you whole again.” Sadness promised.

Joy’s body gave in and then she started to fall.

Fear caught her in her arms. “We’ll bring you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. <3
> 
> And for those who need a little cheering up, like I know I do: Tomorrow's another day!


	15. Scones

“Lena you gotta talk to me.” Sam was driving Lena after being called to pick her up from prison.

Lena was quietly staring out the window. Not saying anything.

Sam would look at the road and then quickly towards Lena on the passenger's side.

“Lena!” Sam called out. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to shut down like this. They told me they found you in the bathroom having some sort of _panic attack_?! What’s goin’ on?”

Back in HQ, all of the emotions were seated somberly staring at the screen. They recently had put Joy in bed and all were panicking.

It felt like an all-out attack.

“No wonder we’re so fucked up.” Disgust voiced out.

“That must be why we lost Joy in that pit, yeah…” Sadness agreed.

“And they kept it from us through all these years?! Why? Why would they lie to Lena like that?” Anger was rabid.

Fear sighed. “I can’t stop thinking about Joy in there, all lost and scared. And if it is like she says- if she’s still in there… then…”

“What do you mean ‘ _if_ ‘ she’s in there? She _is_ there! She told us!” Anger belted out.

“She could’ve lied.” Disgust interjected. “That’s like- what we are, a bunch of liars from a lying family.”

“Even if she wasn’t lying, now we know why there wasn’t any Joy, all along we’ve been living in a Luthor brain.” Sadness reasoned.

“Exactly!” Disgust joined.

“I don’t like it when you guys get like this! Can’t we focus on what they did to Lena? They kept an important part of her hidden! Maybe if she had known Lionel was her father she could’ve made an effort to connect with him or-”.

“Or what exactly? You wanted Lena to be friends with a corrupted man? Then what? Join Lex’s path, become friends with him too?” Disgust protested.

“Lena would be probably good at it. No wonder she’s so _smart_ , it was all for this. This Luthor legacy that’s always weighted on her shoulders, it weighted on her for the wrong reasons. Lena did not have to fight it, she had to uphold it.” Sadness let out in a very soft defeated voice.

“What if that’s true? What if that is what we’re meant to become?” Fear added. “We’re _rotten_ and _filthy_ and what if we cannot overcome that?”

There was another piece of information Fear was keeping from all of the others. Her memories of a little Joy convulsing on the floor.

“Fuck that! No! Lena’s good! Lena’s already been overcoming all of that! Fuck you all for saying these horrible things! I’m gonna pack my things and I’m gonna find Joy in that pit! You stay here feeling sorry for yourselves if you want, but I’m gonna do something about it!” Anger screamed at the top of her lungs.

That seemed to snap Fear out of her spiral. Lena’s happiness was the ultimate goal, she was too afraid of making Lena live in misery. “We cannot let Lena live without joy. She needs it, if she has it then she’ll be good, if she’s good then she’s not really a Luthor. If she’s not really a Luthor, then she can be happy. Anger’s right.” Fear stated.

“You still don’t know if she’s lying.” Disgust warned.

“Let’s ask for some help first then.” Fear countered. And with that she and Anger left HQ through the elevators.

“Sadness you’re in charge!” Was the last thing Fear said before the doors to the elevator closed.

“Lena! Lena talk to me damn it!” Sam continued to drive an absent-minded Lena.

“What you said to me earlier this morning. You said I shouldn’t need anybody to feel good.” Lena finally spoke.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Sam asked with an alarmed voice.

“It left me thinking about what I truly think about myself.” Lena spoke with much intonation, just _numbly_. “I thought I was this up and comer trying to make a name for herself outside her family, I thought I was going to be the one to rehabilitate the Luthor name. Some part of me even thought that there was a reward to be won out of all of that.”

“What did your mother say to you? Did she say something about your biological mom?” Sam was trying to figure out where Lena was coming from, because she pretty much felt completely out of the loop when it came to Lena’s words.

“Turns out my father, my _real_ father was Lionel all along.” Lena spoke in a soft tone, barely a whisper. “And that got me thinking about myself, about feeling invincible when I’m with Kara and about what I truly am and have to come to terms with.”

“Sweetie, you’re the same person that walked into that prison. Nothing’s changed.” Sam tried to reason with Lena.

“Everything’s changed.” Lena spoke in a louder tone.

“You finding out who your biological father is, changes nothing. You’re still the same woman doing good and doing her best every day.” Sam countered.

By now they were shortly about to arrive at Sam’s apartment.

“You don’t understand. The Luthors, there’s something sick in them… something that obsesses over a presumed enemy and then latches onto that without never letting go. No matter the circumstances, no matter who you hurt… and that’s me too. I recognize that in me as well now. I can see it all so clearly.” Lena spoke resolutely, thanks to the work of Sadness and Disgust.

“You’re wrong. I don’t know where you’re getting these ideas about who you are and what you’re predetermined to become because of- because of fucking _genetics_ , but you’re completely wrong.” Sam argued back before parking the car.

But was she really?

* * *

“We just want to know what you think about all of this. Do you think it’s possible that there are two Joys and that one is down there, or maybe that she’s been split somehow and one is here with us and the other one is down there…” Fear groaned in frustration. “We don’t know what to think. It’s all so uncertain, we need answers doctor.”

Anger and Fear were all seated at a small table in the med bay along with the doctor.

“Joy- she’s not well, what she’s going through it’s very difficult. She’s being chased by the shadows of her past and now she relieves it and thinks she’s still there.” The doctor answered in a sad tone.

“With that said, we’ve never known for something to survive down there in the pit. There’s been tragedies, where crewmen fall down and a rescue party never returned. Through all the years we had concluded that going to the pit erases you from existence, but then we encountered Joy’s situation.” She continued speaking.

“I don’t know what to think either, but perhaps it’s not so far-fetched to think that an emotion—which by all clear means is one of the directors of the human being we all live in— _doesn’t_ get erased in the pit… maybe it just gets lost.” The doctor deducted.

Fear and Anger looked at each other with hopeful eyes.

“What about there being two Joys or a slip version of her?” Anger asked in a rush.

“I don’t know. That crewman that thought she was a ghost… perhaps Joy _is_ a ghost of some kind and the real one is down there…? It’s all very interesting to think about in the hypotheticals and completely unnerving when it comes to reality.” She sighed deeply as if exhausted.

Anger placed her hand on Fear’s shoulder. “We’ll go. You and me. We’ll bring her back and everything will be alright.”

The doctor’s eyes bulged at this. “Are you planning to go down there?!”

“You just said that emotions are immune to the pit!” Anger accused.

The doctor started to shake her head. “I did, but what you’re talking about is insanity! You could get lost in there! Lena without being able to feel fear, she could put herself at risk and die!”

Fear swallowed hard at that.

“But what’s the alternative then? A life without Joy is not a life worth living!” Anger bit back. “So we’re going! We’re going down there and getting the job done.” Anger said with complete resolve.

* * *

“Kara’s not answering!” Sam complained out loud as she used Lena’s phone to call her.

“Don’t take my phone without my permission!” Lena protested as she was getting out of Sam bathroom.

“Why isn’t she answering?” Sam asked, ignoring Lena’s complain.

“She’s probably working…” Lena lied. Kara was probably dealing with the Children of Liberty.

“On a Saturday?!” Sam exclaimed.

Lena shrugged in response.

“Listen, I need to pick Ruby up from a soccer game because I left her there to come and get you.” Sam started to explain, referencing her twelve year old daughter. “But I don’t wanna leave you alone. Not like this… so you’re coming with me.”

Disgust looked to Sadness. “Do _you_ feel like being around a bunch of children kicking a ball?”

Sadness shook her head. “I feel like drinking a scotch and then going to bed.”

“So do I to be honest.” Disgust agreed.

Lena let out a little groan to express how uncomfortable she felt. “Sam, I’m tired and we just got here… please just let me take a nap on your bed and when you guys get back I promise I’ll be all better.”

Sam looked indecisively from Lena to the phone in her hand. “Let me just leave Kara a message.”

“Do _you_ feel like letting Kara see us like this?” Disgust asked Sadness.

“No. Not at all.” Sadness then started crying.

“I thought so.” Disgust said.

Lena pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. “Sam don’t text her. I don’t really wanna see her.”

“Why not? She might cheer you up.” Sam insisted, but she then looked at her watch. “That match is just about to be over, can you please text her? At least tell her where you are.”

Sam then gave Lena her phone. “I’ll be back in two or three hours, it’s my turn to take the kids to eat pizza.” She informed Lena before giving her a kiss. “Remember that the heater in my room is broken, grab one of my sweaters before going to bed or you’re gonna freeze over” And with that last comment, she exited the apartment.

Sadness then asked Disgust: “Scotch first or the nap first?”

The elevator’s door opened and in came Anger and Fear.

“Guys, Anger and I are seriously thinking about going down to the pit and getting Joy back.” Fear informed them.

“Okay.” Disgust replied. “I think you should go. It might be for the best ‘cause like- there’s no way Lena will ever be happy after the news we just found out.”

“I want to go.” Sadness raised her hand to volunteer.

“I think only one of us should go. And I think that should be me.” Fear explained.

“No… no it should be me. I have flame powers, remember? I can take _anything_ that’s down there!” Anger offered.

“Fear’s faster than you and more careful… plus once she gets in fight or flight response mode, there’s no stopping her. Plus you can’t really control your flames, they just come when you lose your temper, also… you’re prone to puking.” Disgust listed with annoyance in her voice.

Anger felt each item of her list like an arrow to her heart.

“I’m going too.” Joy said as she rolled into the room with her chair.

Fear panicked. “No! You’re too-” Fear stopped saying the word _fragile_ the moment she saw Joy flinching. “You’re not strong enough.” She said instead.

“How are you gonna find me unless I tell you where I am?” Joy countered.

Fear was taken aback by this for a second, but then said. “Tell me right now and that way I’ll know and I’ll look for you around that area.”

“That pit is the size of a small country. You’ll never find me… without _me_.” Joy started to argue. “Besides, I don’t really know where I am, once I’m there I’ll just _feel_ it.”

Everybody stayed silent at that.

“I can’t believe this is our only hope.” Disgust said.

“Are you sure that you’ll ‘feel’ it?” Fear asked for confirmation, ignoring Disgust’s comment.

Joy nodded. “I’m sure.” She said with conviction.

“Then we’re going.” Fear stated.

* * *

Fear was currently in her room choosing what to wear to go look for Joy in a pit, but it was difficult to concentrate on the task at hand when all she could think about was horrible thoughts.

_What if we can’t make it back?_

_What if Lena dies and it’s my fault?_

_What if Joy’s crazy and she’s not really down there?_

_What if they all find out that it’s all our fault? That it was us who sent Joy to the pit the first time around?!_

Her shaky hand grabbed some jeans and a purple sweater.

“Okay I’m ready!” Fear announced.

Sadness ran to her arms. “Please be careful.”

“Don’t you dare die in there!” Disgust told her and then gave her a hug.

“Protect Joy no matter what.” Anger made her promise.

On her part Joy changed into some jeans too and a yellow jacket along with a yellow baseball cap. Then she rolled back to HQ and was greeted by everybody.

“Take care of yourself and if Fear gives you any pain, let me know!” Anger punched her fist against her other hand in a menacing manner towards Fear.

Disgust kissed her goodbye. “Come back safe.”

Sadness hugged her. “Fear will keep you safe, don’t worry.” She assured her.

After packing some food and different camping equipment, Fear and Joy got on the elevator.

They saw three worried faces as a goodbye.

* * *

“The Train of Thought is the only way to travel towards the rest of the brain, as you already know it supplies delivery of data bases, memories etc. but there is also a small area for travelers. It stops in Imagination Land the first area on the right, after that you can go wherever you wish to. We can provide a vehicle for you if you so desire.” A crewman explained to the both of them.

“We just wanna go straight down the pit, right Joy?” Fear looked to her for confirmation

Joy shook her head. “No, I want to go back to the beginning, or at least _my_ beginning: Kara’s Island.” Joy stated.

Fear frowned in confusion. “But you said you’re down there… why don’t we just go straight down and start looking right away?”

Joy again shook her head, the yellow baseball cap making it look a smaller in almost a comical way. “I want to go there. I want to figure out how I got there!” She insisted.

Fear did not know how to answer that. She just wanted to stop the visions of a child Lena in a yellow dress convulsing. She wanted to make up for whatever it was that they did to Joy in the past and she wanted to do that as soon as possible.

“Do you think that will make it easier to find you?” Fear’s eyes showed her worry.

“It will. I know it will. I want answers Fear.” Joy’s eyes showed her determination.

Then Fear turned to the crewman who was, in fact, still listening to everything they were saying. “We want to go to Kara’s Island, how do we make it there?”

“I’ll call ahead and a vehicle will be waiting for you at Imagination Land. Kara’s Island is the newest Island, so we built it at the far left end. You will have to go through each island in order to get there or perhaps… well I dunno how emotions work but if you know how to make your way through Lena’s memories, perhaps that could be a faster route…?” The crewman tried to be helpful to them.

“No. We don’t have any special powers that allow us to navigate Lena’s memories better. We’ll go the long way then. Thank you very much for all your help.” Fear shook hands with the crewman and then her and Joy went to the train station at the supply delivery department of HQ’s building. Fear was walking, Joy was on her wheelchair.

“Have you ever been to the other side?” Joy asked Fear once they had gotten on the train.

“I haven’t no, but I’ve always wished to. I must say that I’m partial to Sam’s Island.” Fear commented.

Joy looked to the window. Behind them laid HQ, under them was the pit and in front of them there was hope.

“I think I must’ve been through all of that already, but I was unconscious. I ended up at the med bay and then made my way up to HQ to my first day on the job.” Joy commented. “So in a way everything will be new to me as well. Oh! And I’m partial to Kara’s Island!” She quipped at the end.

“That’s understandable.” Fear surmised.

A moment or two of silence went between them after that.

“Fear listen, I want to thank you. Thank you for doing this with me… for risking everything. I really did not expect you to, it surprised me that you volunteered.” Joy said to Fear with pure gratitude in her eyes.

Fear panicked. “It’s whatever. Anybody would have done it. If it wasn’t me, it was going to be Anger or Sadness. Don’t even mention it.” She tried to deflect that the real reason, her ulterior motive was redemption. Lena’s happiness was so important and she had already failed once, she was not going to fail again.

“You have arrived at your destination.” A female electronic voice echoed through the train.

 _Here goes nothing_.

* * *

“We tried to get her to take a nap, but she couldn’t. So right now she’s simply drinking a glass of scotch and watching a reality on TV.” Sadness explained.,

“Why are we at Sam’s?” Anger asked the other two emotions.

“This is where Sam took us. I dunno… out car still at the prison and everything.” Disgust explained.

“Let’call Jesse so she can send someone to pick it up and we can get out of here.” Sadness suggested.

Both Disgust and Sadness agreed.

“How is she doing? After everything that went down I mean.” Anger asked Sadness, the one that was better linked to Lena’s inner thoughts.

“She’s miserable. Every time she tries to picture a future for her where she’s and her company are a force for good, there’s nothing.” Sadness explained.

Anger sighed. “I’m still so fucking angry about, y’know? I can’t believe they kept it from us. We should talk to Lex about this and give him a piece of our mind and demand that he give us the details about the fail-safe!”

“No way we’re seeing Lex again, Not right now! That is like- how this whole thing started in the first place! First we need to rest and get our bearings back.” Disgust countered.

“Okay okay… let’s just get us home. We’ve inconvenient Sam long enough.” Anger concluded.

Sadness made Lena use a share-ride app.

* * *

Once they came down the train a crewman was expecting them, holding a sign that said: Fear and Joy Luthor. Then they were guided to a vehicle that in all aspects was more of a gold cart with a big open space on the back, probably for cargo, but right now it would be the perfect place where to put Joy’s chair while they rode.

After getting everything ready, Fear got on the driver’s seat and Joy sat right beside her. They drove to a little small town, its sign said _Imagination Land_ \- population 103.

The streets were only wide enough for two gold cart to go through at the same time and it had sort of a European feel.

“We’re in Ireland.” Joy observed. “This is Ireland’s countryside.”

It was all very peaceful and quaint. It felt a bit cold, but in the way that makes you feel alive and the sun was shining (even though that was fairly uncommon in real life). The air smelled clear and pure and as they drove, Fear got a sense of peacefulness.

“Oh my God scones!” Joy exclaimed excitedly as she pointed with her finger to a little store at the side of the street.

Fear looked to where Joy was pointing to find the little Dublin café Lena loved. She stopped the little car and then got out first to take Joy’s chair out.

“I love these!” Joys said as she looked through the store window at the patrons eating and having a pleasant time.

“I love them too!” And as much as she hated to admit it, grabbing a bite before driving for who knows how many hours did not seem like a bad idea at all.

They went inside the store and immediately ordered tea and scones.

For a moment, Fear regretted never taking a vacation.

Sadness often said that she really enjoyed her time in Scotch Island and Disgust often took a long weekend to visit _Self-Deprecating Quips_. On her part, Anger was always Old Wild West bound in order to release some steam.

Fear instead had _never_ taken some time off to explore. She felt that as the commander, it was her duty to the team and to Lena to always stay.

Perhaps she had been wrong…

To simply put it, the scones were _scrumptious_.

After a while is started raining and Fear and Joy watched the people outside running to find shelter.

“It seems there’s a storm coming.” The waiter commented as he refilled their complimentary waters.

“Does that happen often?” Joy asked him.

“Not really, no. It should clear right up any minute now, don’t worry.” The waiter replied with a big smile. After that he left them to their own devices.

“We should find a place to stay. I don’t want to catch a storm whilst in a golf cart.” Fear said to Joy in a panic.

The moment Joy nodded her agreement, everything turned dark… _extremely_ dark. As if there had just been a power outage.

Fear could still see Joy because… she was glowing. She took her hand. “It’ll be okay. Don’t worry.” She lied through her teeth. Truth was, she was completely terrified.

Patrons started gathering around them, since Joy was the sole source of light.

“Who are you? Why is she shining?” A woman that had huddled up along with the rest of the group asked them.

“I’m Fear and this is Joy.” Fear answered.

“Oh my God! This are Lena’s emotions! This are the big bosses up in HQ!” A man said out loud in an excited voice.

People around them started to get really excited and Fear decided to get up and hold Joy closer, suddenly afraid that they might do something.

“Do you need a place to stay? I own the apartment above. The first woman offered. I know that with the black-out… it’ll be a bit uncomfortable, but anything you two might need just say the word and I’ll try my best.”

Lightning struck and suddenly everybody in the room could see each other very clearly.

“They look just like the mayor!” One of the people around observed.

After another lightning struck, the power suddenly came back.

Joy and Fear shook hands with everybody before leaving with the woman that had offered them accommodations.

Joy rode the elevator with the woman and Fear had to carry her wheelchair upstairs.

By the time she got to the woman’s little apartment a whole twenty minutes had gone by.

She rolled the chair up to Joy and gave her a soft smile hello.

Joy had been drinking even more tea with the woman and upon meeting eyes with Fear, she excitedly jumped up and ran to her.

Fear was taken aback by Joy’s sudden embrace.

Then Joy whispered near her ear: "I think our host is Lena’s mom!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you so much for reading and have a really nice day :D


	16. Downpour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****
> 
> Please do not read this if you're feeling sad.
> 
> This chapter deals with:
> 
> A Parent's death.  
> Self-Loathing  
> Lots of angst  
>   
> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****

Then Joy whispered near her ear: I think our host is Lena’s mom!

“What makes you say that?” Fear whispered back. She had seen the lady too and she did not look like Lena’s mom.

“She has the same name and look at her, _really_ look at her.” Joy insisted as they still conversed under the pretense of a long hug in front of the lady.

Fear turned her face towards the woman. She had nearly auburn hair, but not quite since it could also be mistaken for black and she had green eyes in a very particular light shade, like Lena’s.

“Plus look at the kid over there!” Joy told her as she pointed to a corner where a small little girl was playing with paper, making origami ducks.

“Talk about burying the lead! That’s Lena as a child!” Fear whispered in outrage.

The woman- Lena’s mom, was smiling brightly at them. “Ye all have a beautiful friendship on ye.” She remarked upon watching them hug for such a long time.

Fear and Joy let go of each other.

“And Fiona, your daughter is so beautiful! What’s her name?” Joy spoke a in a sweet tone.

Fear awaited for her response expectantly.

“This one’s name is Lena. Come daughter and say hello to these good people!” Fiona spoke to the child.

Lena shook her head adamantly.

Fiona looked at Fear and Joy with embarrassment. “Sorry.” Then she turned to address her daughter once more. “Mo bláth beag, I brang these good people with me. They need a place to spend the night.”

Hearing Fiona call child Lena _my little_ _flower_ in Irish hit a chord in Fear’s heart.

Little Lena looked to the two emotions and then stood up and ran to her mother. Hiding behind her legs, she waved hello at the two emotions.

This was… uncanny.

“Hi Lena, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Joy leaned her torso down to be on eye-level with the child.

“Hi!” Fear said awkwardly.

“Bláth beag,” Fiona spoke to the child. “These kind people are gonna be staying in your room tonight and you get to sleep with me.” She explained.

That seemed to sit well with little Lena, who smiled brightly at the news.

After that, Fiona put little Lena to bed. Fear and Joy heard from a crack at the door, how Fiona sang to Lena a lullaby in Gaelic and then said sweet nothings to her until the child fell asleep. Joy eyes got teary and Fear’s throat got a lump.

Then Fiona served tea to Fear and the three of them sat down for a chat.

“How old is she?” Fear asked her before taking a sip of her tea.

“She has some good four years on her.” Fiona replied with a smile. “She’s but the sweetest of children, that one! I love her so!”

Fear and Joy met eyes. Maybe this was Lena’s imagination, living the life that she could not with her mother.

“Have you ever been to a lake up north?” Joy asked the woman.

Fear’s eyes bulged in a panic upon noticing that Joy wanted to ask about Fiona’s own death in an inconspicuous way.

“We have!” Fiona replied excitedly. “Just two weeks ago we went there for a little visit, had us a terrible scare what with me not knowing how to swim and the silly pool float slippin’, but Lena, she has nothing but bravery on her and swiftly called for help. Saved my life she did!”

Fear’s heart broke. Lena’s Imagination Land was a home she never had, a life she never lived and a mother that never got to see her grow up.

Joy was also seriously pondering Fiona’s answer. “She called for help but, wasn’t the lake empty that day?”

Fiona shook her head. “No, the lake had families all over. Lena called out and they came to help.” She answer with no hesitation.

Joy shook her head. “It was empty. I remember it empty.”

Fear’s eyes bulged at that. “Sorry, she’s had a long long day… haven’t you Joy? We’re actually pretty tired and should probably go to bed.”

Fiona smiled awkwardly at the two, but then nodded. “Take some blankets from the closet on the hallway and the bed- it has a drawer on it, you can pull it open and that becomes another bed.” She explained.

Joy still wanted to argue with the woman over the details of her outing, but Fear looked at her with scolding eyes and she relented.

After closing the door of little Lena’s room Fear let out her disapproval.

“What is wrong with you? It had people! We were on a holiday, of course there were people around!” Fear whispered harshly.

“You too?! What even? It was empty. I remember it empty.” Joy insisted also whispering.

“Well it’s two on one, so me and Fiona are right and you’re wrong.” Fear concluded.

Joy stayed silent after that.

“Why do we remember it so differently?” Joy asked after she was already tucked in on the upper bed.

Fear was already getting ready to sleep on the lower bed. “I don’t know.”

“But it happened the way Fiona and I say. That’s how we all at HQ remember it. There were people around and Lena could’ve called out for them, but-” She stopped. “Were you there? Were you in HQ when Lena’s mom died?”

Joy was about to answer, but then she just stopped there with an open mouth. “I- …. I don’t know.”

“Well then… exactly! You _don’t_ know. It was all my fault, I made Lena become paralyzed! It was all my fault! Both Disgust and Sadness agree that if I hadn’t freaked out, we could’ve called for help… so- so that’s what happened and this here is just a _fantasy_ , nothing more.” Fear spoke with harshness.

Joy stayed quiet after that.

Later in the middle of the night, Fear thought that perhaps she should apologize for her outburst. It was not even Joy’s fault that she did not remember it well, she was not even there to begin with.

“Joy, I uh… I’m sorry. I never meant to snap like that at you.” She whispered into the dark room.

Joy turned her back to Fear and stayed quiet.

* * *

That night Anger was on dream watch, after getting Lena home they got her to eat something and then go to bed.

Lena did not dream of anything but darkness.

The next day, they needed to go get the information from Lex.

Both Sadness and Disgust were reluctant, but Anger made them do it all the same.

They had multiple texts and missed calls from both Sam and Kara, but left them unanswered as they made their way to Lex’s prison.

“I don’t feel like doing anything.” Sadness implored.

“If Lena doesn’t help out with this, people are going to die! Now stop it!” Anger replied in fury.

Disgust was about to interject, but Anger shut her up with a single stare.

Then Lena made her way to the prison.

“Lena! How was it? How’s mom?” Lex asked her once they let her in to the visitor’s room.

“Just tell me what I need to know.” Anger made Lena cut to the chase.

“Oh Lena, always in a rush I see… You know, I talked to mom this morning and she says you were very rude to her.” He commented instead.

“Oh yeah? Well _she_ was very rude to _me_!” Lena countered.

Lex sighed as if tired of Lena’s antics. “That’s it with you, isn’t it? Always _me me me me_. Well, sometimes it’s about us Lena, sometimes it’s about _family_.” He taunted her with what Lillian had just revealed to her.

Anger took the bait.

“You lied to me! You all lied to me!” Lena’s eyes were watering with unshed tears of rage.

Sadness was simply laying on the console quietly crying, but Anger’s rage was starting to seep into Disgust.

“Lie is such a _strong_ word Lena, I would say that we simply omitted it. “Lex spoke in a sweet tone, enjoying Lena’s strong reaction, almost deriving _pleasure_ from it, just like Lillian had the previous day.

“I want to kill him!” Anger let out.

“So do I honestly.” Disgust joined.

Sadness then cried harder, making the other two turn to her. “It’s no use. He’ll never tell us, we’ll never be able to help Kara and people will continue to die.”

Anger and Disgust scoffed. “No! Lena’s smarter than him. Either he’ll tell us or we can figure it out on our own!” Anger argued back.

Then Anger pulled down her lever.

“Listen Lex, I don’t care to play whatever game it is that you and mother concocted for me, I am here for one thing and one thing only. Now tell me what I need to know.” Lena demanded.

Lex laughed at that and then stood up from his seat, gesturing for the guard that the visit was over.

“Oh little Lena, mom already gave you the answer you need.” He then winked at her and extended his hands to the guard to get re-cuffed.

Anger’s eyes turned a bright red. “What the fuck is he talking about?!” She yelled right before slamming her fists on the control panel.

* * *

“I just want to apologize for how I acted yesterday. I didn’t mean to be rude. You’ve been so kind to us Fiona and I feel nothing but gratitude.” Joy told Fiona as she and Fear were about to head out.

“It’s no bother, I know your heart’s in the right place. Safe journey!” She waved at them with little Lena in her arms.

“Thank you.” Fear replied.

After that, Joy went down the tiny elevator and Fear carried her big wheelchair downstairs.

“Are you sure you need this thing? Lately you’ve been walking just fine.” Fear checked with Joy as she pushed it on the car.

“I’ve been feeling really good lately, perhaps I don’t need it after all.” Joy responded with a small smile.

And off they went.

Next stop was Science Island.

The island looked like some sort of Tomorrowland theme park and as Joy and Fear traveled through in the golf car they saw a lot of people having fun on different rides.

“Should we...?” Joy pointed at a giant roller coaster that spiraled like a DNA.

“This is not a vacation. We can’t keep making pit stops along the way.” Fear told her firmly.

Joy looked down in shame. “Yes of course…”

They continued on the road and watched a food court area, it had a giant chess set where children were playing pretending to be the chess pieces themselves.

“Do you remember when Lena beat Lex with that Boor Attack she read about online?” Joy commented as way of making conversation.

Fear frowned. “That’s a white starting move… Lena always played black because Lex said she was the black sheep of the family.”

“What? No no no, Lena played white. Lex always used the Slav Defense with black and she didn’t know how to beat him until she learned the Boor Attack.” Joy countered.

Fear was vexed. “Lex always made Lena play black. It was his way of bullying Lena!” She shot back.

“Lex didn’t bully Lena. He was kind to her, what are you talking about?” Joy was getting annoyed with Fear too.

“Whatever! If you want to live on fantasy land, then do! But I know the truth!” Fear was done with this conversation.

“Lex was not perfect, I’ll give you that… but he wasn’t mean like you’re making him out to be.” Joy continued with the conversation anyways.

Fear kept silent.

“Are you giving me the silent treatment?”

Fear continued driving and kept quiet.

“Great! Then that means I get to do all the talking!” Joy said in a fake-sweet tone. “Why do you remember things so differently from me? Our memories don’t coincide when it comes to Lex and they most definitely are not the same when it comes-”

“Shut up! There _were_ families around. We were on vacation on the lake, it was sunny, there were people around and then the stupid float slipped and she didn’t know how to swim. Lena was on the shore watching and she did nothing and that’s what happened. That’s on _me_.” Fear was shouting now, tears had gathered on the corners of her eyes.

Joy did not know how to respond to that and instead stayed quiet.

A moment of silent went by between the two.

“It wasn’t sunny…” Joy commented. “It had started to rain and mom wanted to take one last dive before going back. She hadn’t gone into the lake during the whole morning and it was our last day and she didn’t want to miss it.” Joy spoke in a soft tone.

“She grabbed our floatie and jumped from the deck. The rain- it turned into a downpour and the floatie slipped and she could not make her way back. Lena screamed, she screamed her lungs out, but there was nobody around to help because of the heavy rain. She wanted to jump in and _do something_ , but _you_ saved her. You stopped her from dying too that day.” Joy retold the story.

Fear was crying now as she stared directly up ahead, then she started to shake her head from side to side. “No. No that’s not true. That’s not- it didn’t happen like that.”

“Why can’t you remember? Don’t you guys have the memory up in HQ?” Joy asked in almost a whisper.

“We would never re-watch that, Sadness probably sent it to the archives.” Fear replied after wiping away her tears.

“Oh… then we could just ask for it and check-” Joy started to say.

“What is wrong with you?! Why would I watch that?!” Fear’s voice was very high pitched and alarmed.

“So that you know. So that you can see that it wasn’t really your fault. You were only a child.” Joy responded in a low tone, trying to not upset Fear any further.

“ _You_ watch it then! I will never repeat that memory!” Fear kept on driving, utterly upset by the conversation.

Joy jumped out of the golf car and ran to a red phone near some bathrooms at the Science park. Fear pushed the breaks suddenly and got out of the car too.

Joy spoke something on the phone as Fear approached her.

“Don’t you ever do that again! That was dangerous!” Fear admonished.

Joy hung up the phone. “They don’t have it. They don’t have the sphere of Lena’s mom drowning.”

Fear was thrown off by that. “What? Why not?”

“They said it must've been misplaced and that they’ll get back to us on that.” Joy informed her.

Fear took a deep calming breath. “It doesn’t matter. Th-that’s neither here nor there so… let’s just keep going. We still have a lot of ground to cover.”

Joy disagreed with it not mattering. Of course it mattered that Fear was blaming herself for mom dying and what was worse- that both Sadness and Disgust agreed with her...?

Nevertheless, not wanting to push the issue any further, Joy decided to drop the subject.

“Okay you’re right, let’s just keep going.”

They both got back on the golf car and continued their journey.

* * *

“Mother already told us the answer?! What does that even mean?” Anger complained.

Lena was now back at the DEO, re-examining the weapon.

On her way in, Alex had told her that Kara was looking for her, but that right now she was dealing with an operative trying to find the Children of Liberty’s hideout.

“Are you ready to meet the in-laws?” Alex had teased her.

“Fuck! The wedding’s this weekend, we completely forgot!” Anger exclaimed.

Disgust and Joy were both sitting on the sofa of the break room, still upset about finding out that Lena is actually a Luthor.

“I’m busy right now! Lives are at stake!” Anger had made Lena answer.

Alex literally took a step back from Lena. “Okay okay. No chitchat, got it!”

And now here they were, with the weapon in hand and Lex’s ambiguous clue.

“Okay okay, to figure this out we just have to think back about everything that mother told us during our visit.” Anger encouraged the other two to help her think.

“Data base: Yesterday’s visit to mother.” Sadness’ movements were slow as she pressed the button that popped the mic up, and she spoke in a sluggish kind of way that frustrated Anger to no end.

The sphere showing the memory of Lena’s visit showed up.

Anger pressed some buttons and the memory played out.

“Make note of everything she’s saying.” Anger instructed, having become the commander in spite of Fear having assigned that role to Sadness.

“There! She told us she gets out in three months.” Anger pointed out. The screen split in two and the statement appeared on the left side as the memory continued to play.

“She- she wants to start a lobbying foundation with our money.” Disgust pointed out.

“I don’t want to keep re-playing this. We all know what she told us next.” Sadness stated.

“Okay then… that’s all, she gets out in three months, her foundation thing and that Lena is Lionel’s daughter.” Anger conceded.

Then Disgust approached the mic. “Data base: LexCorp’s foundations.” She said. “I’m thinking that perhaps Lex kept the development of this weapon hidden through a subsidiary or a charity of some kind.”

“I’m thinking that the answer lies in Lena being a Luthor…” Sadness said instead.

Anger looked to the both of them. “You said you didn't even feel like doing anything and look at the two of you now! C'mon, let’s work on both.”

As Disgust went through a list of LexCorp subsidiaries and charities, Sadness got to work.

She made Lena find Alex. “Hey… is there any chance that you happen to have files on my family?”

Alex looked like a deer in the headlights. “Umm… we do, yeah.” She admitted.

“Do you have any biological samples from my brother or my father?” Lena asked.

Alex nodded. “We have your brother's, but I can’t give it to you, that would be a breach of protocol since you can’t go through your own investigation file.”

Anger lost it. “She has investigated Lena!? What the fuck!?” Then she pulled her lever down.

“You’ve investigated me?!” Lena asked in outrage.

Alex’s eyes showed true remorse. “We just had to make sure that you weren’t a possible threat.”

Anger’s eyes turned red. “How dare she!? We’ve done nothing but help and she fucking investigated us?!”

Then sadness pushed one of her switches.

“Did-” Lena pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to calm down. “Did you have it sequenced? My brother’s sample, I just need to know the DNA sequence. It’s important.”

Alex nodded and then went into an office to the side and came out with a little Pen drive.

“Don’t do anything but look at it.” Alex warned Lena as she gave the Pen drive to her.

Lena went back to work.

“I’m done with my thing.” Disgust answered. “The charities and subsidiaries… there's just too many and we only know some details about ten of them. I just- we do not have enough information. Out of the ten that we do, nothing suspicious rises that would make me think they could possibly design this kind of weapon under the table.” She elaborated.

“Okay, then let’s keep working on Sadness’ idea.” Anger responded.

After that, Sadness had Lena spit on a test tube and put it through a sequencer.

“That’s gonna take weeks!” Anger complained.

“No it isn’t. We don’t need the whole thing… just a little bit. It’s still gonna take hours though.” Sadness explained.

“We’ll have to come back tomorrow.” Disgust concluded.

“Okay okay… but guide me through this. What is all this for?” Anger felt so frustrated by the entire ordeal, she could barely think.

“The weapon, its software, we tried to examine it- but it’s encrypted. I’m thinking that the encryption key lies in whatever piece of DNA that Lena shares with Lex. That is to say, in whatever it is that makes her a Luthor.” Sadness explained in a slow manner.

“That’s- that’s genius actually.” Anger observed.

“That’s Lex.” Disgust said with sarcasm.

* * *

Joy and Fear were in an awkward place now.

They did not know what to say to each other anymore.

As Fear drove them to the next island, a whole two hours of silence had passed between them.

Then they arrived to _Self-Deprecating Quips,_ an Island that consisted of several comedy clubs where versions of Lena would do stand-up comedy in front of a crowd. For a moment hey thought that perhaps they were on Scotch Island, because from the streets all you could see were bars, but then it turned out that there was an outdoor show too.

A crowd had gathered around a particular spot that made it really difficult for them to get through with their golf car.

Lena, in a black t-shirt and some jeans stood high up on a stage with a mic.

Fear had to stop the car. “There’s no way through.” She said.

Then Lena the comedian started the show.

“Loss does strange things to my family, and I’ve lost _a lot_ of people, like- _A LOT_.” Lena said to small chuckles from the crowd. “First it was my mom ‘cause little ol’ me doesn’t know how to scream for help. Can you believe it?”

The crowd laughed.

“Then it was my absent workaholic of a father… although, now that I think about it, that wasn’t much of a loss!” She continued, to even more laughter from the crowd.

Fear had gotten out of the golf car, making Joy drive instead as she told people to let them through.

“Then I lost my brother because, guess what? He wanted to kill a God! I mean, how much more arrogant can you get? If Lex ever wanted to kill himself, all he would have to do is climb his ego and jump!”

The crowd laughed and applauded.

Fear and Joy were still trying to make their way through. Joy had started to cry as she steered the wheel.

“Then comes the most important one! My sense of _self_. You see, when you constantly tell yourself _‘At least I’m not like them!_ ’ in order to create an identity separate from your evil adoptive family. Well… let me tell ya folks: That’s not a strong foundation to begin with, but it completely crumbles… _oh how it does!_ when you find out that you _are_ actually related to them and you’re just a bastard child in disguise!”

The crowd lost it as they doubled over with laughter.

Joy could no longer take it. “Stop it! Stop it!” She jumped off of the golf car and ran into the crowd until finally reaching the stage.

Joy took Lena’s mic and spoke to the crowd. “Lena’s the best person I know. The _best_ one. She’s had it tough yes, but that’s in no way funny. What this-” She looked to Lena the comedian. “this _thing_ is saying to you. That’s not the truth. Lena’s strong and noble and yes, she has lost a lot of people, but that’s only made her all the more grateful for the ones that she still has.”

Joy was crying now as she spoke. “You have _no_ right to make fun of her in this way. No right! This is all wrong- this-” Her voice started to crack. “you people are _vile_ for listening to this and laughing. Show’s over!” She then threw the mic behind the stage.

The crowd was confused, but little by little they started to disperse.

Joy met eyes with Fear. She also had been crying.

Fear, still standing by the golf car opened up her arms to Joy.

And Joy ran. Joy ran like she had not been able to in a while, she ran into those arms and into a warm embrace.

“I’m so sorry I got so mad at you!” Fear cried out.

“I’m sorry too! I was- I was pushing you and insisting- and that was callous of me.” Joy apologized too.

“No no… you were just trying to help. I- I understand where you were coming from.” Fear responded.

They both started to wipe each other tears.

“Let’s keep going. There’s no time to lose.” Fear told Joy as they both got in the golf car and continued their journey.

* * *

“Where have you been? I’ve been calling you for two days!” Kara had just landed on Lena’s balcony at her office.

“I’ve been working!” Lena shot back through Anger’s direction. All afternoon they had been going through every single one of LexCorp's subsidiaries, foundations and charities, trying to rule out Disgust's idea while they waited for Lena's DNA results.

Kara was taken aback. “What and you don’t even have time to text me back?”

Anger was furious. “Why is she barging in like this and asking where we've been? She’s not our mom!”

Lena was seething. “No. I really don’t! People’s lives are at stake and I need to work to yet again fix another thing my brother did!” She responded in a harsh tone.

Kara did not respond and a moment of silence went by.

The two women stared at each other’s eyes, until Kara lowered her gaze.

“I know that you’re under a lot of pressure, but so am I, okay? And if this-” Kara gestured between herself and Lena. “- is ever going to work, then it’s because we’re there for each other and we see things through… _together_.” She spoke with gravitas as she looked directly into green eyes.

That seemed to disarm Anger entirely. She suddenly felt unable to move.

Both Disgust and Sadness looked to her expectantly, but after a few moments had gone by with Anger being paralyzed, Sadness had to take over.

Lena avoided Kara's gaze. “I need space- I can’t even think about an _us_ right now. Not with everything that I have going on.” Lena responded in a softer tone.

Kara stepped closer. “What do you mean you can’t ‘think about an us’? Are you breaking up with me?”

Sadness then dropped on the console and started to cry. Pulling down a lever on accident.

Tears started streaming down Lena’s face. “I’m not good enough for you.”

Kara took Lena in her arms. “Don’t say that. You are good enough.”

After both Anger and Sadness seemed out of commission, Disgust took in a deep breath and pushed her red button.

Lena pulled away from Kara. “You don’t understand!” She said in a louder tone. “I- uh- I’m” Lena turned her hands and looked at them as if they were dirty. “You don’t know me. I- I’m disgusting. I loathe myself for everything that I represent, for everything I let myself do and become.”

Lena then extended her arms. “Look at this building Kara! I- I don’t know what I was thinking! This- this is a testament to my own arrogance, my vanity, my naiveté.”

Kara looked at her perplexed. “Lena I don’t understand- What are you talking about?”

“I thought that I could fix it. I thought that if I worked hard _I_ would be the one to turn the ship around and people would remember _my_ name, then one that I had made my own. The one that thanks to _me_ , no longer represented corruption, bigotry and madness.” Lena’s voice was becoming hoarser the more she spoke.

“But I was such a fool... I’ll never escape what I am.” She said in a lower tone.

Upon hearing Lena's words Sadness banged her fists on the controls and Lena started full on crying.

Kara again took Lena into her arms.

“Why? Why are you saying these horrible things about the person I love? You’re not arrogant, you’re determined and all of _this_ as you say, is not out of vanity or narcissism, you do it to atone for sins that are not even yours. You are so good Lena and I just wish that you could see yourself the way that I see you.”

Disgust gaped at that. Completely stunned by Kara’s words and becoming paralyzed as Anger just had.

Only Sadness could control Lena now.

Lena did not fight the embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I obviously failed my self-challenge to write a chapter every day... Which honestly makes me feel like crap. 
> 
> Anyways, I will never read this chapter ever again, because I had to go to a really dark place in order to write it.
> 
> I thank you for reading and sticking with me till the drama part of this dramedy arrived.
> 
> Don't worry though, as always, this story has a happy ending :)
> 
> Buy me a coffee! https://ko-fi.com/thesameasmine


	17. Guns & Dreams

“Lena, you need to tell me what’s going on… Why are you feeling like this?” Kara asked Lena as she stroked her soft black hair. Both women were still at the office, laying on the white sofa, Lena pressed against Kara’s front.

Sadness pulled down one of her switches.

“I had to-” Lena stopped talking because of an involuntary whimper. “I visited my mother in prison and she-” Now she started full on crying. “-she told me that Lionel is my biological father.”

Kara held Lena a little tighter. “Oh. I understand.” She simply responded.

“I don’t know what to think, I had this idea about who I was and- and now…” Lena whimpered again.

Kara ran her hand up and down Lena’s arm in a soothing manner. “You’re Lena Luthor, a wonderful, intelligent, compassionate human being. Your genetics don’t change that.” She told her in a soft voice.

Lena cried even harder.

* * *

Joy and Fear made it to the next island right before Lena fell asleep and decided to stay the night there. It was Scotch Island. Which did in fact consist of several bars and hotels where you could drink single malt scotch, single grain, blended malt and the like.

They checked themselves into a hotel and spent the night there.

After turning on the TV to see what was on the dream watch channel, Fear realized that it was entirely black.

 _Weird_.

Then Fear heard a knock at her door.

“Hi! I bought us a bottle. I just don’t think that we can say we were truly here if we don’t have at least one drink.” Joy commented as she barged into Fear’s room without waiting to be let in.

“I don’t drink.” Was Fear’s curt reply.

Joy looked like a deer in the headlights. “Right, yeah… Sorry.” She then looked around the room awkwardly.

“But I can accompany you while you drink.” Fear tried to make Joy feel less awkward.

Joy smiled. “Okay! Just a nightcap and I’ll go, I promise.”

They both sat on the balcony, where there were two lounging chairs and a small coffee table in between as Joy drank a glass.

“What a couple of days, huh?” Joy commented to try to break the ice.

“Yeah, I’m just worried that we won’t make it back in time…” Fear said into the night.

“In time for what?”

“The wedding. Lena was really looking forward to that, or at least in a nervous kind of way. She very much wants to make the right first impression with Kara’s parents.” Fear explained.

“Oh… I thought she mostly just wanted to slow-dance with Kara!” Joy replied.

Fear shrugged. “Well, there’s that too I guess…”

Joy let out a little laugh. “Anything Kara-related, Lena finds really exciting. It’s very adorable.”

“She also finds it terrifying though.” Fear added.

“Well, love can be like that sometimes!” Joy then took a sip from her glass and a quiet moment went between the two.

“What do you think we’ll find?” Fear spoke softly into the night air.

“Mmm?” Joy turned to look directly at Fear with questioning eyes.

“In Kara’s Island… what exactly are we looking for in there?” Fear clarified her question.

Joy stayed very still as she thought about her answer. “I want to know where I was first found and I want to look around and find out why or how I got there. I think that if we just go straight to the pit… it’ll be impossible to find me quickly, but perhaps Kara’s Island can give us a clue into where exactly I am.”

Fear was about to nod in agreement, but then a realization stopped her. “You said you could find _yourself_ because you would ‘feel it’…?”

“You know how I’ve been able to walk and run without losing my breath and I’ve also been able to stay conscious for the entire day…? At first I thought it was because I was no longer taking over the controls, so my energy wasn’t getting depleted, but now I think it is because we’re getting nearer and nearer to the Island.” Joy stated in almost a wonder-like whisper.

“So you _are_ feeling something then?” Fear asked for confirmation.

Joy smiled, all teeth. “I am, I very much am.”

Fear let out a sigh. “Well, let’s hope that feeling’s right.”

“Here’s to that!” Joy raised her glass into the starless night.

* * *

The next day Lena woke up in her apartment, completely alone... The faint smell of Kara on the sheets.

Lena reached over to where Kara had slept the previous night and pulled the sheets up to her nose.

“That makes me feel a bit better.” Sadness told Anger and Disgust.

Later in the night, both emotions had finally been able to move and after going to bed, the three of them were ready to get to work. Today was an important day.

“Let’s go. We’ve got to save this city.” Anger stated.

Lane ate some toast, showered and got dressed.

Anger was calling the shots as Lena entered the DEO that morning.

“Lena, good morning. You look…” Alex started to say.

Anger was losing it. “Like crap? Tired? What?”

“- better.” Alex finished.

Anger calmed down at that.

“Thanks! Now, if you don’t mind, I really think that today’s the day…” Lena told her as she took some steps towards the office with the sequencer and the weapon.

“You really think so?” Alex asked with a small voice.

Anger frowned. “What’s up with her? I’ve never heard her speak like that.”

“I think she’s worried about something or perhaps sad.” Sadness commented.

Alex then avoided Lena’s gaze as she continued to speak. “Kelly and I… we’re thinking of postponing the wedding. That bridge exploding… people are thinking of evacuating the city.”

Anger was more than pissed now.

Lena placed a firm hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I’ll fix it! You don’t have to postpone anything. I won’t let them get away with this, soon enough their big weapon will be nothing but a useless piece of metal.” She told her with fire in her eyes.

Alex gaped a little at Lena’s complete determination. “Y-yeah, good. That’s good! Get to it then!”

And with that, Lena was off to the office, feeling more purposeful than ever.

“What about it? Is it ready?” Anger asked Sadness as Lena examined the preliminary results from the sequencer.

Sadness nodded. “It’s even more than we need. Now we just have to compare it to Lex’s.”

Lena loaded all the necessary data into a computer and waited patiently for the results.

“See this here.” Sadness pointed to the screen. “That’s what makes Lena and Lex siblings.” She explained with a somber look and a defeated tone of voice.

“That’s the encryption key?” Disgust asked excitedly.

“… Maybe.” Sadness responded.

“I’ll leave the coding to you. I never cared too much for that.” Sadness told Anger and afterwards rested her head on the console in the most miserable of ways.

Anger cracked her knuckles. “Let’s decrypt this baby!”

* * *

“What’s going on?” Joy asked to no one in particular. Her and Fear were driving with their golf cart through Dream Productions, what seemed to be some sort of Hollywood Film Studio lot.

Earlier in the day they had woken up to find that their hotel room only served scotch for breakfast and decided to move on to the next island in order to find something to eat.

Once they arrived, they thought they might find some catering around for the actors, but instead they found a desolate place.

“I don’t know.” Fear answered. “Maybe it’s like this during the day? They’re the only thing left with enough energy when Lena’s asleep after all.”

They continued their path, until they heard a crowd.

“That doesn’t sound good at all.” Joy observed.

As they continued their way through, the noise from a crowd grew larger and larger until finally they turned a corner and found its source.

There were about 20 different Lenas and Karas protesting. They were chanting: “We want to work! We want to work!” And they held signs that said things like: ‘No horror, just love!’ and ‘Make love not nightmares!’ One in specific just said: ‘Let me fuck!’

This was the main street of Dream Productions and now it was impossible to get through!

Fear parked their little golf car on the side and both her and Joy stepped out.

“What’s going on?” Joy asked one of the Karas. 

This was the first time Fear had ever seen Kara in the flesh. It was… _powerful_ , to say the least.

“Are you here to join us? I think it’s best if you come with your Karas, like everybody else.” Kara told them and then turned to show that she was holding hands with a Lena. They were both wearing winter clothes and suddenly Fear realized that these were the actresses for that winter cabin dream Lena had had about two weeks ago. (The one where the only source of heat was each other’s bodies and there happened to just be one single bed around).

Fear averted her eyes, she felt herself blush.

This was so embarrassing.

“We’re not Lena actresses, we’re both emotions. This is Fear and I’m Joy.” She explained to Winter-Cabin Lena and Kara.

The other two women’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re the commander!” Winter-Cabin Lena pointed at Fear. “Maybe you can help us…? They told us that Romance is out and that what’s _in_ right now is Horror dreams. We really don’t wanna do any of those, hence our current predicament.” She elaborated.

Joy nodded in understanding. “Well… Who should we talk to?”

“What!? We don’t have time for this!” Fear said in a rush.

“The lead scriptwriter, she’s on this building and she’s the one that insists on producing nightmares. Her name is Subconscious.” Winter-Cabin Kara told them.

“If you go up to the security guard over there and explain that you’re from HQ, he’ll probably let you in.” Winter-Cabin Lena added.

Joy smiled. “Got it! Leave it to us!” She took a hold of Fear and pulled her further into the crowd until they reached the gates of the studio building.

“I’m Joy and this is the commander, Fear. We’re here to talk to Subconscious.” She told the security guard.

“And I’m the mayor of Imagination Land!” He scoffed. “You really thought that was going to work? You’re just actresses with a purple sweater and a yellow jacket, nothing more!”

Joy was left with a dumbfounded smile. “What?”

“You heard me you slutty porn star!” The guard said with hostility towards Joy.

“Listen here pal. I am commander Fear Luthor from Head Quarters on a mission to save Lena’s happiness and you cannot treat us this way! I ask that you bring out your supervisor!” Fear yelled at the man.

The security guard gaped at that and then looked from one to the other.

A moment went by.

“Okay, I’ll go get my supervisor.” He then walked into a small booth to the side and after a moment walked back holding a red phone with a very long string. “Here.” He said to Fear as he handed her the phone.

“Hello this is commander Fear, who am I speaking to?”

“Fear!? If you’re here? Then who is my muse?” A voice, very much like Lena’s asked.

Fear did not know what to say.

“Ugh! Just get over here and I’ll see for myself. Pass the phone to the guard!” This Lena-voice told Fear.

Fear handed the phone and the guard pressed it against his ear for a few seconds before letting them in.

“Just off to studio lot 5 and then take a right, you’ll see a sign that says _Offices_. Can’t miss it!” The guard instructed them.

Fear and Joy walked decidedly until they reached the described place and knocked on the door.

“Hello!” A Lena wearing a turtleneck sweater and black rimmed glasses greeted them. “I’m Subconscious and you guys…” She looked to Fear and then over to Joy.

“Gloomy look, eyebags… purple sweater, you must be Fear!” Subconscious hugged the commander. “I am such a big fan of all your prompts, they inspire me so!” She claimed as she guided Fear inside her office.

Joy was left awkwardly at the door and then she decided to simply go in as well.

Subconscious’ office was a literal mess. There were sheets of paper all over the floor, dozens of typewriters with unfinished work and cups of coffee in varying degrees of consumption. It was a madhouse.

“If you’re here… then who is feeding me these?” Subconscious went over to a strange-looking machine and started rolling out a long piece of paper and reading it out loud. “Lena ruins Alex’s wedding; Lena can’t save National City in time and everybody dies; Kara breaks up with Lena; Lena has a decease and dies a slow painful death; Lena has to fight Supergirl because she’s actually a villain.”

Then Subconscious let go of the paper and walked back to Fear, placing a hand on her chest. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving these... they’re really getting my writing juices flowing, but who the fuck is doing it if not you?”

Fear was in too much shock to answer. She was still trying to grasp the disaster that was Subconscious’ office.

“Hello? Brain to Fear!” Subconscious waved a hand in front of Fear’s eyes.

Fear was startled awake from her trance. “I never sent out any prompts, what are you even talking about?”

“Okay yeah… not consciously, but this machine- it spies on you guys up in HQ, it then picks up the subliminal messages and sends them to me as prompts and I write the scripts for the dreams.” Subconscious explained.

“You’re spying on us?!” Fear was more than alarmed.

“Yes! I mean- no, not literally, I cannot exactly hear what goes on in there… just this prompts from the machine.” This Lena with glasses pointed again at the piece of paper that kept rolling out more and more prompts.

“Oh! Well… if it’s picking up what’s going on in HQ right now, then these prompts come from Anger, Disgust and Sadness.” Fear explained.

“Well… then they’re copying you because these are very similar to what I’m used to getting from you. You should sue them for plagiarism or something!” Subconscious then sat down on a disgusting-looking couch and took a cup that was on the end table and drank whatever it was in there.

“Why have you come to visit me?” She asked Fear.

Joy stepped in. “We heard that you no longer were working on Romances and that the actresses are really upset about having to act out nightmares. Can’t you just go back to romance?”

Subconscious gasped as if terribly offended. “I’m sorry, but I do what the muse commands me. And right now she’s sending these-” she grabbed the roll of prompts for illustration. “And I am compelled to obey. I am no more than a slave to the muse.” She stated in all seriousness.

“Okay so… the root of the problem here is HQ itself then.” Fear concluded.

“And the fact that I’m no longer there.” Joy added.

“Who are you exactly?” Subconscious asked Joy.

“Haven’t you heard about me? I’m Joy… I’m in charge of Lena’s positivity.” Joy elaborated.

“I heard there was a new emotion- a yellow one, but I didn’t know it was Joy…” She then paused in thought. “You’re the reason I was getting all these corny prompts about silly stories with happy endings? That’s not anywhere up my alley, you really threw me a curveball there. My craft is in the dramatic arts! Not comedy!” Subconscious said with conceitedness.

Joy rolled her eyes. “Give me a break! Not because a story has romance or a happy ending it means that it’s less than- than ones with violence and death. That’s just dumb! Romance can be very rewarding and complex!” She bit back.

Subconscious sighed as if defeated. “I do enjoy porn though…”

Fear had to blink away the stupidity of this conversation. “Let’s just go!” She said to Joy. “We need to fix the root of the problem, which was what we were already trying to do to begin with.”

Both of them turned to leave.

“It was a pleasure to meet you!” Subconscious told them on their way out.

After arriving back on the street they found Winter-Cabin Kara and Lena again.

“So? Will she write romance again?” Winter-Cabin Lena asked them.

“Not as of right now, but pretty soon yeah. Soon this will all be over!” Joy explained.

“Okay, thank you! She’s refusing to talk to any of us… so the fact that you at least got to talk to her means a lot.” Winter-Cabin Kara told them and then gave them two muffins. "For your journey!"

_God was she attractive!_

Fear just waved goodbye and kept on walking, leaving Joy with the pair.

“We’ll fix it and we’ll fix it for good. Don’t worry!” Joy guaranteed as she took the muffins and then got back into the golf car.

Fear started the engine.

"At least we got breakfast!" Joy observed as she took a bite out of a muffin.

* * *

As the DEO computer worked to decrypt the weapon’s software with the new key—which happened to be a very large amount of data—Lena sat on with her laptop working on some LCorp related tasks (which she had left unattended for several days now mind you!).

Anger was at the helm of operating Lena, but after a whole three hours had gone by, her patience was starting to run thin.

“How much longer is this going to take?!” Anger asked in exasperation.

“Who cares?” Sadness asked in a dejected voice. “Don’t you see… Lena’s actually related to Lex. We now have empirical _undeniable_ prove.” She then started wiping away her tears, but they were coming on too fast.

“What’s important right now is decrypting the software… then we can find the damn fail-safe and everything will be alright.” Anger countered, her eyes starting to get red.

“I still can’t believe it myself… There was still this thought on the back of my head that the two of them were lying.” Disgust joined the conversation.

“That’s what I hoped for too… Actually, that’s why-” Sadness’ crying hiccups did not let her continue.

Disgust nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I thought so…”

“What? What are you guys talking about?” Anger asked in confusion.

“Sadness… she was pushing the DNA idea in part because she wanted to know for sure if Lena is in fact a Luthor.” Disgust explained with a pained expression.

When Anger was just about to lose it because of the whole Lena is a Luthor meltdown, the DEO computer beeped.

“We’re in!” Anger yelled as she saw the results on the screen.

“Let’s check out the schematics for the weapon!” Anger started typing away and so did Lena.

“Jeez… we were never going to figure it out in time!” Disgust concluded. “It looks like an amalgamation of all of his previous fail-safe designs.”

“Yes! We fucking got this! It’s on bitch!!!” Anger shot flames out of her mouth as she typed away on the computer, trying to develop a software that would remotely activate the fail-safe.

* * *

Fear shook in her seat as she drove the golf car. “As I understand it, this one is kind of dangerous. Anger said there’s a gun shop at the entrance. We should probably-”

“What? But it says _family_ … why would we need weapons?” Joy was freaking out. “Could we die?”

“No… Not really. It’s just painful that’s all.” Fear explained. “We need to get _them_ before they get us.”

“Get who? Lillian and Lex?!” Joy asked, worry laced her voice.

“And Lionel, don’t forget Lionel!” Fear added.

“This is insane.” Joy crossed her arms over her chest. “Why can’t there be a Caribbean Island? Or a Cotton Candy Island? Instead we have to go through this barren cowboy town where we’ll most likely get shot!”

“There’s the shop. Let’s see what we can get.” Fear parked the little car off to the side and she and Joy got out and walked to the gun shop.

“Hello ladies! How may I help you today?” A hairy man with a white mustache asked them as soon as they entered.

“Hi yes, we’d like to get something for protection. We need to get through to Box Island but I hear that it’s pretty dangerous around these parts.” Fear leaned over the counter and talked amiably with the shop-keeper.

“Do you happen to be Fear by any chance?” The man asked the purple-dressed woman.

Fear nodded. “Yeah I am, and this is Joy!”

Joy smiled politely.

“Well my oh my… aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes. Only Anger comes over here, I’ve always wanted to meet other emotions.” The man seemed very excited to meet them.

“Nice to meet you sir.” Joy shook hands with the man.

“Very well, let’s see what we’ve got here.” The man grabbed a pistol. “This here is your usual _fuck you_ pistol.”

“Excuse me!?” Fear was taken aback by the man’s vocabulary.

The man was startled by Fear’s response. “I’m sorry. Is there something wrong?”

“You just- you- Joy! Explain to the man what he just did!” Fear elbowed Joy.

Joy was just as confused. “Did you just say _fuck you_ pistol?” She asked for confirmation.

“Yeah this one is one bpcw.” The man explained…?

Joy squinted her eyes at him. “One bp what?”

“One _bullet per curse word_ ma’am.” The guy then pointed the gun to a target at least 5 feet away and then screamed _fuck you_ and the bullet shot off.

Both Joy and Fear smiled nervously and nodded as if everything was normal.

“I see why Anger enjoys this place…” Joy whispered through a smile at the charming shop-keeper.

“I see that too now.” Fear answered back through her own forced smile.

Fear then cleared her throat. “Uhm… Excuse me sir, but do you happen to have any weapons that do not rely on curse words?”

The man started coughing out of complete and utter shock at the question. “No curse words?!”

“Y-yeah… I uh- I’m not too fond of them.” Fear supplied.

“I uh- well… I mean- Let me think, I have a shotgun that- yeah I mean… Let me just-” And with that the man left the room through a door.

“I think you broke him.” Joy observed. “Let’s just take the pistol and I’ll do the shooting.” She offered.

“I don’t want to enter a murderous cowboy settlement without a weapon Joy!” Fear said in outrage.

Joy raised her hands in self-defense. “Okay okay, I understand.”

“I found it!” The shop-keeper returned with a shot gun. Both Joy and Fear turned to pay attention.

“Now this baby here is very powerful. It runs on back-handed compliments!” The man seemed very excited now. “Honest to God, I’ve never seen this baby in action, but give it a try.” He handed the weapon to Fear.

“Back handed compliments you say…?” Fear asked nervously as she pointed the weapon towards the target off to the side.

“Yup, go ahead. Do your worst!” The man encouraged her.

Fear racked her brain for what to say. “Mmm… You look good… uhhh- for your age...?”

The shotgun fired a round of pellets that obliterated the target.

“There you go. What a beaut!” The man complimented.

Fear’s face showed how completely terrified she felt and Joy, well… Joy started full on laughing.

“That is the best thing I’ve ever seen oh my God!” Joy said between laughs. “I love it so much!”

“And what will you have ma’am?” The shop-keeper asked Joy.

“Oh I’ll just take the _fuck you_ pistol.” She took the pistol off of the counter and felt its weight. “Yup, this will work just fine for me.”

Fear’s legs were shaking as the two of them walked back to the golf car.

“Do you want me to drive?” Joy asked her.

“Yes please. Just- just until I get my bearings back.” She said as she sat on the co-pilot’s seat with the shotgun.

Joy sat on the driver’s seat and started the car.

The Family Island literally looked like an old Western film, with a saloon and a dirt road that went through town.

“Go slow okay, we don’t wanna attract any attention to ourselves.” Fear warned.

For the most part, the people in town looked like regular folk, carrying supplies, parking their horses and getting drunk at the saloon.

Then Fear and Joy heard a “You’ll run the family company to the ground!” followed by a gun shot.

“Take cover!” Fear and Joy got out of the car to take cover.

“You’re nothing compared to your brother!” Another shot.

Fear lifted her face to see who was shooting at them.

“It’s Lillian.” Fear told Joy. “It seems that her weapon is triggered by hurtful comments.”

Lillian was standing in the middle of the dirt road with black boot, black pants, a long black jacket a white shirt and a black cowboy hat.

Joy was trembling now. “O-okay so… I’ll just shoot her, right? That’s it…” A trembly hand lifted the pistol and pointed towards the general direction from where the shots had come.

“Cunt!” Joy shouted and the gun went off.

Lillian laughed. “Is that all you’ve got! hah! I've never loved you!” the bullet landed on the golf car.

“Oh God, we can’t let her damage this car! It’s our only means of travel! Come! We have to take cover somewhere else.” Fear indicated. “You shoot and I’ll run to those barrels over there and then I’ll shoot and you’ll join me, okay?”

Joy nodded in understanding.

“Fuck! Shit! Bitch!” Joy shouted and the gun went off three times as Fear made her way to the barrels.

Fear signaled Joy that she had made her way over safely and then got into a shooting position.

“I really love that outfit on you, black is supposed to make you look thin, right?” Fear said and the shotgun went off.

Joy ran swiftly to take cover behind the barrels.

“What the fuck was that?!” Lillian shouted after having to take cover because of the shotgun's pellets.

“I’ve got more where that came from!” Fear warned. “Now… just let us be on our way and no one needs to get hurt.”

Lillian laughed some more. “As if I’d give up that easily! You should’ve drowned along with your whore of a mother!” The bullet pierced the barrel and liquor started pouring out.

“Oh God!” Joy exclaimed in alarm. “Fuck you! You stupid piece of shit! Whiny bitch!” She yelled at Lillian and her gun went off three times.

“This feels amazing. It’s so therapeutic!” Joy exclaimed excitedly at Fear.

“I think we’re gonna have to kill her.” Fear exclaimed, eyes completely bulged out with panic. “I feel it coming…”

“What’s coming?” Joy asked in a rush.

“The Fight or Flight Response!” Fear got up with the shotgun and started firing at Lillian.

“I wish I could pull off that orange prison jumper as well as you do!”

_BANG!_

“Being a widow must free up so much time for you, how nice!”

_BANG!_

“Your husband cheated on you when you were already thirty-five! How lucky!”

_BANG!_

Lillian ended up on the floor in a pool of blood.

“Hurry! This whole thing restarts in ten minutes” A guy taking cover behind some boxes by the saloon told them.

“Let’s go!” Fear took Joy's hand and together they ran back to the golf car.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” Joy said and the gun went off in her hand.

“AAAHH!” They both screamed.

“Put that thing down for Christ’s sake!” Fear yelled as she started the golf car and they continued their way.

* * *

“…And done!” Anger exclaimed with glee.

Lena took a pen drive out of the DEO computer. “Alex!” She called out.

After waiting for a few seconds, she realized that Alex was not coming. Lena decided to get out of the office to look for her herself.

“Alex!”

Anger was fuming. “Where the fuck is she? It’s ready! We did it!”

“Maybe she went off to help Kara or something.” Disgust suggested.

“Now her life is in danger… we didn’t make it in time.” Sadness lamented.

Alex then showed up around the corner. “What’s up?”

“It’s done! This right here-” Lena handed the pen drive to Alex. “Just plug it in a radio emitter and the signal will activate the weapons’ fail safe.”

“Oh God! Really?” Alex looked super excited.

“Really yeah! I mean… they have to be at least in a hundred mile radius, but other than that… yes!” Lena was smiling big as she spoke.

“O-okay yeah! Let’s do this. I’ll get a team right on it Lena. Thank you so much!” Alex gave Lena a pat on the back and then ran off.

Anger sighed as she sat back on her chair. “There you go! That’s how you do it.”

Disgust was barely keeping herself upright supporting her head on arm against the console and Sadness was full on crying as she hid her face behind her hands.

“What’s wrong with you guys? We just did a good thing!” Anger was more than frustrated now.

“Yay.” Disgust fake-cheered whilst Sadness just kept on crying.

“Whatever! I’m just gonna ignore you!” Anger made Lena pick up her things and make her way back home.

As Lena sat on the back of her town car, Anger looked at the screen that showed the streets passing Lena by.

_Now what?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for reading. We're nearing the end now, how exciting!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think :)
> 
> Oh! And support me on Ko-fi if you can.  
> https://ko-fi.com/thesameasmine


	18. Boxes & Dances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****
> 
> Please do not read this if you're feeling sad.
> 
> This chapter deals with:
> 
> A Parent's death.
> 
> *****TRIGGER WARNING*****

“I just don’t understand how they could’ve lied to us all these years.” Anger said as she cuddled with Sadness and Disgust on the break room sofa.

“And like- why?” Disgust joined her.

Sadness was stroking both their hairs now. “They hate Lena, they never wanted her to feel welcomed and, perhaps if they had told her when she was younger it would’ve-” She sighed deeply. “Forget it. I have no idea where I was going with that.”

“This whole thing just makes me think of mom, y’know?” Anger told the other two as she wiped away a stray tear. “If we had saved her… if we had helped her somehow then everything would be different.”

“You’re right. We should’ve been there for her. Then we’d have an actual family. Someone who really loves us and would never lie.” Sadness agreed.

“What do you guys think will become of us?” Disgust asked the other two.

“I think that-” Sadness took a deep sigh. “I think that somewhere along the line Lena is going to become obsessive over something, just like Lionel- just like Lex… and she will be consumed by it and- and… there won’t be nothing we can do to stop it because it’s just who _we_ are.” She started full on sobbing.

Disgust held her tighter.

“There’s nothing to do about it…” Anger repeated eerily.

Disgust nodded. “We will become this hideous creature with tunnel vision… just like them.”

“And everybody will always betray us.” Without any world-saving distractions, Anger started to see that Disgust and Sadness had been right all along.

“They will… because it’s what we deserve.” Disgust agreed.

“And then we’ll be alone. Completely alone and miserable.” Sadness concluded.

The three of them continued to bring out the worst in each other as they remained seated on the couch.

On her part, Lena was lying in bed in the middle of the afternoon, pondering all of these thoughts.

* * *

Joy and Fear managed to leave Family Island and cross over to Box Island. This Island had a diversity of boxes of all colors and sizes.

“So… what’s this about exactly?” Joy asked as she and Fear made her way in the little golf car.

“It’s a placed filled with boxes.” Fear explained succinctly.

“Well, that much I can see… but how come there aren’t any people around?” Joy looked around, trying to find someone, but all she could see were boxes along the path.

“Maybe this is just not that kind of island…?” Fear also wondered why nobody was around.

“What are all of these boxes? Lena’s fascinated with packing things or something?” Joy still did not understand what this island was about.

“It’s where we send unpleasant things… It helps us stay focused on the job.” Fear elaborated a little more.

“So these boxes… they’re not empty?” Joy looked around, there were so many boxes stacked one on top of the other as high as a three story building.

“No, they’re all supposed to have some thing or another.” Fear replied nonchalantly.

“Like what?” Joy was really curious now.

“Like- umm… like-” Fear kept trying to come up with something but it proved impossible. “I know they’re unpleasant things or distracting at the least.”

Joy was not satisfied with that answer.

“Can I open one?” She asked Fear, but without waiting for an answer she jumped out of the golf car and ran towards a box.

Fear stopped the car to a screeching halt. “I asked you not to do that ever again!” She complained as she got out of the car and followed Joy.

“Look! They’re labeled. This one says _Sally_.” Joy lifted up a small yellow box to show Fear.

“Oh God no, please don’t open that.” Fear tried to take the box from Joy, but Joy was too quick and opened it instead.

Both Fear and Joy now stood in Lena’s college dorm.

“You’re so-” Sally Havilland, Lena’s biggest crush in college was lying face down in bed with Lena as they both worked on a science project together on the computer.

Lena was blushing. “So what?”

“I dunno… so… _amazing_.” Sally told her, also blushing herself.

Joy watched the scene with a smile plastered on her face, but Fear instead was confused.

“I think you’re amazing too.” Lena said and then leaned in for a kiss.

As the two girls kissed everything around Joy and Fear started to fade and before they knew it they were back on box island.

“That was adorable.” Joy commented. “Why is that here? That wasn’t ‘unpleasant’ at all.” Joy looked to Fear for answers.

Fear started shaking her head. “That’s not how that happened. She didn’t- she never said that Lena was amazing. We were doing homework and then Lena went for it and then Sally told her she was dating Lizzie Woodward!”

Joy looked to Fear with worry. “What’s wrong? What does it matter if she said that Lena was amazing or not?”

“It matters because we always thought it was unrequited. If Sally was actually sending us some signals… then maybe we had a fighting chance!” Fear replied, her voice showed pure frustration.

“Who sent it here? Who decides what comes to this place? And why that memory?” Joy had so many questions, but it seemed all Fear could pay attention to was the girl telling Lena that she was amazing.

“We all decide!” Fear shouted.

“What was the last thing you guys sent here?” Joy needed to understand this place better.

“We- uh… we sent somethings about Lex, I think? No no… that was not the last thing. We- uh… I don’t know. I don’t remember very well. Why can’t I remember?” Fear was having one of her panic attacks and took a box at random and opened it.

Now they both stood at Lena’s apartment. Lena was crying over something… she was holding a letter in her hands.

Joy walked closer to try to read what it said.

_Happy 21 st birthday, I love you so much my daughter. _

_-Lionel_

“Why is she crying?” Joy asked Fear.

Lena started ripping the letter apart and then the scene faded and they were back in Box Island.

“That can’t be real! No no no no, when we turned twenty one father gave us money through a lawyer, that’s all! There was no letter!”

Fear had started crying now, but Joy still did not understand what was happening.

“It’s not real. It’s not real.” Fear started muttering to herself over and over again.

Joy did not know what to do. “What’s wrong? I don’t understand. If you could just _explain_ …” She pleaded with Fear.

“This has to be a fantasy island just like Imagination Land! It _has_ to be!” Fear was losing her mind. She grabbed another box and opened it.

Both of them now stood in Lena’s old room as a child.

Lena was seated on her bed quietly crying and Lillian was kneeling in front of her holding a stuffed giraffe toy behind her back.

“I think you’re obviously not ready to part with toys. I’m sorry I got rid of Miss Pizzly like that. I got you this to make up for it.” Lillian showed Lena the toy and as Lena held it close to her chest and her mother patted her on the leg, the scene faded and they were back at Box Island.

“No! No no no no no.” Fear was losing it even more. She was kneeling on the ground now hyperventilating.

Joy kneeled in front of her and slapped her. “Get it together!” She yelled at the other emotion.

Fear took a deep breath in as her eyes focused on Joy’s.

“Now, you’re gonna tell me what the fuck is happening!” Joy demanded.

“I don’t remember any of these, but they all look so real. I thought- I though here is where we send unpleasant memories, but I think… I don’t know- I don’t know what this place is.”

“I do remember the giraffe. We called it Mr. Freddie, but stopped playing with it rather quickly after Lex taught us chess.” Joy stated.

“Mr. Freddie?” Fear seemed confused. “I can’t remember it.”

“Why are you guys locking these memories in here? Why Sally saying Lena’s amazing? Why dad giving us a birthday note? And why mother trying to make up for having taken Miss Pizzly?” Joy needed answers and she needed them now.

“They don’t fit. None of them fit!” Fear yelled in frustration as she still knelt on the ground.

“They don’t fit so you send them here? Sally can’t like Lena but reject her at the same time? Dad can’t be an absent father and also love us? And mother couldn’t have cared about us and be cruel to us as well?” Joy asked in a rush.

“Sally never reciprocated our feelings. That’s not how it happened! And dad never cared for us and mother… mother is nothing but a callous coldhearted woman!” Fear replied between tears.

“You said you sent something about Lex here… where is it?” Joy looked around, deciding to ignore Fear’s outburst.

She found one of the boxes at the very top labeled Lex and made a climb for it.

It took several minutes to reach the top, but once she did, she opened it immediately.

Joy and Fear stood in the studio at Lena’s childhood home.

“It’s your turn, go ahead.” A younger Lex told a toddler Lena.

Lena took a white pawn and moved it one space up.

“You can move it two spaces on the first turn, go ahead.” He encouraged her.

Lena nodded and then moved the pawn up another space. Lex then moved one of his black pawns too.

“What are you thinking?” Lex asked Lena.

“I want to move the horse because it can jump over the pawns like you did on our last game.” Lena told her brother.

“There you go! You’re a fast learner Lena.” He smiled softly at his sister with nothing but tenderness in his eyes.

Joy and Fear watched them play for hours on end. They watched Lena’s hair get longer and they watched her get better and better at it.

Most importantly of all, they watched a loving brother creating a safe space for his sister during a hard time.

When the memory faded, they did not know how much time had passed as they both stood back in the island.

Fear was shaking her head in denial. “No! This can’t be. He was never kind to us.”

“Yes he was!” Joy yelled at her. “And you- you dismissed it and chose to erase it from Lena’s memory! Why? Why would you do that?!” Tears had started to gather in the corner of Joy’s eyes.

“Why?!” She demanded to know.

“Be-because… Because-” Fear was trembling now, her eyes blankly staring at the horizon.

“Answer me!” Joy ordered her.

“Because i-it was _easier_.” Fear started full on sobbing with her hands flat on the floor to support herself. “It was easier to hate them, than to acknowledge them with all their nuances and complexities.”

“So you decided to create a black and white world for Lena? A world where everything is clear-cut and bad people are always bad and you get to hate them without feeling any ambivalence?!” Joy was seething with rage now.

“Yes! Yes! That’s what we did!” Fear confessed. “I didn’t remember it, but yes! We made sure to protect Lena from that. It was just so _painful_. We- we loved Lex so much, so _fucking_ much and he- he-… we _lost_ him. We lost our brother, our _friend_.” Tears fell on the floor as Fear continued to cry.

“And you erased the little bits of happiness Lena had felt with these people. You erased _me_!” Joy cried out as she too fell to her knees and started to weep.

For a few moments all that could be heard were the two emotions crying. 

Joy kept trying to catch her breath, but it proved an impossible task. “I want mom!” She said aloud. “Mom’s memory must be here.”

Joy stood up and ran away, looking through all the boxes.

Fear followed. “Joy! Joy please don’t do this!” She called out to the other emotion.

Joy kept on running and reading all of the boxes tags until she found the right one labeled: _The Lake._

She ran towards the pile, jumping over other boxes and nearly tripping.

“Joy no! Please don’t! I can’t bear it!” Fear ran after her, trying to stop her from opening the box, but before she knew it they both stood in a sunny day by the lake.

A child Lena was playing in the water with her floatie. Fiona sat on the dock with her legs inside the water and she smiled at Lena and waved.

Lena swam back and together they had lunch. Cucumber sandwiches and some juice. Lena teased Fiona for getting some of the cucumber on her cheek and they both laughed.

After a while a light rain started and the people around them started to pick up their things and leave.

“Mo bláth beag, I’m gonna have me a wee swim before we head back, alright?” Fiona then stood up and took Lena’s floatie with her.

Lena laughed as her mother splashed her when she jumped in the water then she started packing her things on her little red backpack. First her little sandals and then her hat. Lena took out her runners and some socks and sat down on the dock trying to put them on as she waited for her mum to come back so they could leave.

The rain got stronger after a while and Lena looked up towards the lake, trying to find her mother.

Fiona was drowning and Lena screamed. She looked around trying to find someone she could ask for help, but everybody had already left.

“Mum! Mum!” Lena yelled and suddenly made a move as if to jump in the lake to go after her mother, before stopping and staying very still, almost paralyzed as she watched her mother drown.

The memory faded and then both Fear and Joy held on to each other as they cried.

“There was nothing we could’ve done. There was nothing we could’ve done.” Joy told Fear over and over again as Fear sobbed into her shoulder. “You saved Lena. You did what you could. It’s not your fault, none of it is your fault.”

Both continued crying into each other’s arms.

* * *

Lena was on her bed in the fetal position crying.

Back in headquarters all of the emotions had watched the memories of Lena with Sally and Lena and her father’s letter, Mr. Freddie and Lex.

But most heartbreakingly of all, they had watched the memory of Lena’s mother drowning.

“What is this? Why is this happening?” Anger asked between tears.

They heard a thundering sound and all of them walked over to the wide window on the back. “Family Island…” Disgust remarked, still crying uncontrollably because of what she had just witnessed.

The three of them watched as Family Island went down in rubble.

Sadness helped both Anger and Disgust to the couch on the break room and consoled them as they cried on her shoulder.

“There was nothing we could’ve done.” Sadness cried out.

The three of them continued snuggling against each other, wishing they had not seen their mother die a second time.

* * *

Joy and Fear heard the sounds coming from Family Island and it snapped them out of their crying.

“What’s going on?” Fear asked Joy, her eyes red.

Joy shook her head. “I don’t know, but we need to keep going. Lena needs us!”

Fear nodded and together they made their way back to the golf car.

After a few hours they arrived on the next island.

They were welcomed by Sam, who wore a white robe and glowed. As she approached them, Fear realized that she was not walking, but gliding across the floor.

“Hello weary travelers. My name is Samantha, please join me.” She said to them in the sweetest of voices.

Both Fear and Joy nodded their consent and Sam guided them further into the island.

They were essentially walking in a jungle, filled with beautiful big-leafed plants and flowers. They reached a small town with quaint huts that surrounded a giant statue of Sam with a fire at its feet.

“You must be hungry.” She said and dozens of Lenas gathered around and offered them plates of fruit, corn and different beverages.

“I hope these please you.” Sam said to them with a kind smile.

Joy and Fear sat by the fire along with the other Lenas and ate. After they were done, Sam approached them again and gave a hug to each of them.

It felt nice, all-encompassing and warm.

“Your beds are on that hut over there.” Sam pointed towards a nice hut just behind the statue. “We will hold a celebration in just a few moments and the both of you are invited, but please refresh yourselves and rest for a while, there’s still plenty of time.”

Joy and Fear nodded and said _thank yous_ before heading for their hut. The interior of the hut was much bigger than the exterior and it had everything you could possibly need. A small kitchen, bunk beds, a fireplace and a nice bathroom with both a nice tub that seemed to be made of dry mud.

“You go first.” Fear said to Joy.

“Thank you.” Joy entered the bathroom, leaving Fear all by herself.

Fear walked over to a bookcase by the fire. All of the books were about learning how to make things, embroidery, ceramics, drawing, knitting, painting, making candles and soaps, cooking, etc.

Fear grabbed one on building a canoe and started to read it by the fire.

After a while Joy got out of the bathroom. “I feel like a million bucks.” She told Fear.

Fear smiled and then went in the bathroom herself.

Joy had left the tub filling up with water already and in to time Fear was able to get in with the water reaching her collar bone.

It was the most relaxing bath Fear had ever taken in her entire life.

She got dressed and went out.

Both Sam and Joy were seated by the fire having a chat.

“Are you ready?” Sam asked Fear.

“I am.”

Once they got out of the hut, Joy and Fear watched as all the Lenas met in a circle around the fire Ruby walked towards Sam and offered her hand to her. Together the both of them walked over to some drums and started playing them.

The Lenas started dancing. It was not choreographed, but rather spontaneous.

Joy smiled all teeth and pulled Fear with her to join the dancing Lenas and together they danced around the fire.

Fear felt that all the negative things in her life were fading away, to be burned and cleansed.

She moved, feeling her heartbeat thrumming against her chest, feeling the Lenas’ raw energy in the air, and listening to the rhythm of the drums, ringing pleasantly in her ears.

She could feel sweat gathering on her forehead, but she did not mind. She was dancing like she had never before, moving freely and letting everything go. She no longer was Fear, but she was now one with the universe and one with the love that was almost tangible around them.

Lena loved Sam and Sam took care of Lena.

And as Joy took her hand to spin her around, smiling and laughing with glee, Fear knew true happiness in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Stay safe out there :)


	19. Joy: Part III

_“I’m not feeling too well…” Little Joy as a child told the other emotions. They were all wearing little summer dresses with their respective colors._

_“Is it the headaches?” Anger asked her._

_“Yeah but, it’s more than that.” Joy replied._

_Fear put her little arm around Joy. “You’ve been sleeping a lot lately. Maybe it’s that?”_

_Joy shook her head. “I just- sometimes I feel so cold and I know I go to bed early, but I don’t feel like I’m sleeping enough and I have bad nightmares.”_

_Fear felt her heart sinking. Joy was her best friend in the whole wide world and to see her in pain was bad._

_“Guys, it’s our turn.” A little Lena in a blue dress told the group._

_“Okay Sadness, I’ll help you out, no worries.” Anger walked closer to the small console and together they tried to figure out which piece to move._

_Disgust went over to a little space where they all kept their lunchboxes and brought out hers. “I have water here. Do you think that will help?” She asked Joy._

_Joy looked at her with tenderness and love, but then started to shake her head. “I don’t think it will.”_

* * *

Lena got up that morning to the of a doorbell ringing.

“I don’t wanna pick that up.” Disgust voiced to Sadness and Anger. They were all in Sadness’ room cuddling together and had left a sort of nanny cam on the console to be able to see and hear what Lena saw.

“What if it’s important?” Anger asked the other two.

Sadness shook her head. “There’s nothing important.”

“Maybe the software we developed did not work? Maybe it's Alex asking for our help!” She stood up from bed and ran over to the console.

Lena got up from her own bed and looked through the keyhole.

It was Sam.

“Ignore her!” Disgust yelled from Sadness’ room, having been able to see San with the nanny cam contraption.

Anger felt bad about ignoring Sam.

“What if she needs us? What if something went wrong with Ruby and she needs our help?” Anger insisted.

Then Sadness yelled out: “We’re not in any position to be helping somebody else when we can’t even help ourselves. We’d just be a hindrance to her.”

Anger realized that Sadness’ words were true.

“Lena! Answer me! I know you’re in there!” Sam yelled through the door as she knocked on it with her fists.

Anger jerked up in attention at that.

“You just left without even texting or leaving a note? I told Ruby you were gonna stay with us and we were gonna watch movies together. You made me look like a fool in front of my kid!” Sam continued yelling.

Suddenly Disgust and Sadness were standing right beside Anger and together they pressed a button on the console.

“Go away!” Lena yelled back.

There was silence after that. “I can’t leave you alone. Not after what happened with your mother, please let me in.” Sam said in a calmer tone.

“I don’t wanna see you right now. Please just go.” Sadness and Disgust made Lena say.

“Seriously? What the fuck Lena! You really shouldn’t be going through this all alone. At least give me Kara’s number so I can call her and tell her about all of this.” Sam’s voices semmed a little pissed now.

“No! Just leave. Leave me alone. I _want_ to be alone.” Lena yelled through Sadness’ and Disgust’s direction.

“Don’t be like this!” Sam banged the door.

“I’m done with this conversation.” Lena replied and then walked back to her bedroom.

* * *

That morning they woke up to the beautiful aroma of flowery oils.

Fear was the first one to go outside and check out what was going on, whilst Joy stayed inside the hut, still getting ready to continue their journey.

All the Lenas were naked around Sam’s statute and massaging each other with essential oils whilst Sam, seated at her own marble feet, played music with a harp.

Some Lenas were humming along with the melody, but other seemed to be really engrossed in conversation as they massaged each other.

Fear ran back into the hut and upon closing the door yelled: “This is a sex cult! _We’re_ in a sex cult!”

Joy’s eyes widened almost comically. “Really?!” She asked excitedly and then ran to the window to look outside.

“They’re not having sex… it looks more like an R rated spa day.” Joy remarked.

“They’re _preparing_ for sex and they’ll probably be here any minute asking us to join them!” Fear said in alarm.

“No c’mon… that can’t be right. Why would Lena want to have sex with herself on Sam’s Island?” Joy reasoned.

Fear stopped at that. “Okay okay… that somehow rings true to me.” She admitted.

“See? It’s no biggie, it’s just a naked spa or something? Maybe it has to do with Lena remembering to take care of herself?”

Then the entire ground started shaking and Joy and Fear looked to each other in panic.

“What is this? Is it a palpitation!?” Fear yelled as she grabbed Joy by the arm and pulled her outside the hut. All of the Lenas were running in a panic and Sam’s statue now had a crack right in the middle.

Sam had these glowing thing around her that extended upwards to the statue. It was as if she was trying to hold it together so that it would not fall and hurt the village.

Fear met eyes with Sam.

“RUN! GET OUT OF HERE WHILE YOU CAN!” Sam yelled at them.

Fear did not have to be told twice, she yanked Joy by the arm and together they got back on the golf car.

As they sped through the path that led to the other side of the island, All Joy could see now where the jungle trees and the very top of Sam’s statue. Then she watched it fall.

“Sam!” Joy called out. “Fear turn back! They need our help!” She begged Fear.

Fear shook her head. “There’s no turning back now. We must go on and finish this. We need to find you and we need to save Lena for good.”

They continued driving at full speed, hoping against hope that everything would turn out well in the end.

* * *

It took them about an hour to finally make it to Kara’s Island.

The shift from jungle to forest was what gave it away.

At the beginning the trees were tall like sequoias and then eventually turned smaller like those you would find in a regular park.

Finally they arrived a clearing where children were playing and laughing. There was literally a kid with a white gymnastics’ ribbon running in circles around other children and creating almost a beautiful white turbine around them.

There must have been around 20 children, ranging from 2 to 8 year-olds. Most of the children had dark hair, but a few of them were blonde.

Fear and Joy stopped the golf car just at the edge of the forest, right before the clearing and then slowly got out of the car, not wanting to scare the children off with any sudden movements.

“Mama!” A blond boy ran to them and then looked from one to the other in confusion. “Mama?” He said to Joy and then turned to Fear and also asked. “Mama?”

Joy and Fear kneeled down to be at eye-level with the small child.

He kept looking from one to the other in complete and utter bewilderment until somehow he figured it did not matter and then shouted “Mamas!” and went to hug the two at the same time.

Both Fear and Joy hugged the child with tenderness.

“What’s your name sweetie?” Joy asked the little boy.

The little boy scrunched up his nose. “You don’t remember?”

“We’re not your mama sweetie, we’re… ummm, we’re your mama’s sisters.” Fear lied.

The boy’s eyes illuminated with pure joy. “My name is Div Zor-El.” He told the two emotions.

Joy and Fear looked at each other with fascination. That was Kara’s _real_ family name!

“Div, could you take us to see your parents?” Joy asked him. “We’re here for a little visit.”

Div beamed excitedly and then took Joy by the hand and guided her further into the clearing. All the children noticed them now and gathered around to greet them.

“Mama!” “Mama!” They all shouted.

“Aunties!” Div corrected and the children who managed to hear him started shouting “Aunties! Aunties!” until the information reached all of the children.

Joy and Fear had never seen so many children together. Most special of all is that they all looked like Kara or Lena or a strange combination of the two.

It filled their heart with love to see their blue and green happy eyes.

“What’s going on-” The question got lost in Lena’s lips as she watched her twins playing with her children.

Joy and Fear turned to address Lena and waved excitedly.

“Hi!” They said to her.

And Lena smiled back as she got closer and closer. “Who are you?” Now all the children were hugging and running around all three look-alikes.

“I’m Joy and this is Fear.” Joy answered.

“What?” Lena scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. “Why do you look like me?”

Fear looked to Joy with confusion, usually everybody knew who they were.

“Fear…? The emotion up in HQ…?” Fear told her more specifically.

Lena raised her left eyebrow. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“No. We don’t know each other.” Joy pitched in. “We’re the embodiment of your emotions relating to fear and joy.” She further explained.

Lena started laughing nervously. “What?”

“We’re in your brain right now. On a representation of an important aspect of your personality: The love you feel for Kara; and Joy and I are the emotions that control you day to day. We’re you, the inner you.” Fear tried to clarify.

“Okay…? Just… c’mon in, we can talk further about all of this in the house.” Lena guided them, the children still clinging to all three.

“Juhla! Please let go, mama needs to attend to these visitors.” A little blonde girl let go of Lena’s arm with a pout. “I’ll come back with snacks for all, okay? Don’t worry.”

The kid, Juhla, smiled and then started running away along with the other children.

“Are these all yours?” Joy asked Lena.

“Yes, mine and Kara’s.” Lena replied with a hidden smile in the corner of her lips.

“They’re all very beautiful.” Fear complimented.

“Thank you.” Lena replied, her cheeks becoming rosy.

They arrived at the house, a small quaint cottage and Lena let them go in first.

“Babe!” Kara took Fear in her arms and gave her a big kiss.

Kara’s lips were so warm and silky soft, and Fear got lost in the feeling of kissing them, until she felt Kara pulling back abruptly.

Lena was yanking on Kara’s shoulder.

Kara looked from Fear to Lena in confusion. “What- Wh-” She was speechless.

“These are Fear and Joy. The- umm… what was it? My emotions you said?” Lena told Kara although she herself seemed confused about what she was saying.

“I’m sorry babe.” Kara apologized to Lena and then picked her up in her arms as if she weighted as much as a pillow and kissed her passionately.

Fear and Joy blushed at the scene.

By the time the two women had finally let go of each other, at least three minutes had gone by and Joy and Fear had taken the liberty of sitting on a couch nearby to wait it out.

“So…” Lena started, her cheeks entirely red and still panting because of her previous activity.

“So…” Fear joined in. “We’re your emotions. I’m Fear and I’m in charge of negative thinking, taking precautions and safety.”

“And I’m Joy. I’m in charge of positive thinking, and the search for happiness and fulfillment.” Joy introduced herself as well.

“I’m Kara and I’m in charge of spousal duties and child-rearing.” Kara walked over to the emotions and shook their hands. “What can we help you with?” she offered and then grabbed a chair from the dining table and sat in front of them, patting her lap and getting Lena to sit on her lap as they talked to the two emotions.

“Joy here, she’s- umm, how do I explain this?” Fear looked to Joy for help.

“I’m not complete! Another part of me seems to be missing and without the whole me, Lena cannot truly be happy.” Joy started to explain. “The first memory I have is of appearing right here on your forest and we’re just wondering if you could point us in the general direction of where I first appeared.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can help you.” Lena answered.

“But the children can!” Kara interjected.

* * *

_“Fear, she’s not getting any better.” Sadness in a little summer blue dress, told Fear._

_“I know.” Fear lowered her eyes to the floor. It was so scary to think what would happen if Joy kept being sick._

_“What will we do without her? She’s our commander, we need her!” Anger was exasperated._

_“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Fear yelled at her. Then she herself stopped her own outburst and in a calmer voice said: “Please don’t ask me these types of questions. I don’t even wanna think about it.”_

_Anger turned her back to Fear and left for her room._

_Tensions were really high lately and her leaving was probably for the best._

_“I don’t like how you treated her.” Disgust remarked. “If we’re going to make it through this, we have to stick together as a team.”_

_“You’re right and that also sounds like something Joy would say so… we should do it.” Sadness agreed._

_Fear sighed, she felt so tired; without Joy here to guide everybody, it seemed more and more that they were all expecting Fear to step up to the plate. It was nerve-wracking.“Yes, of course. You’re right.”_

_“We just need to be there for her, she’ll get better any minute now.” Disgust concluded._

_Fear was truly afraid of that not being true._

* * *

“The repair man saw her there auntie.” Div told the two emotions as he pointed towards a small clearing in the woods.

They had spent about an hour now walking through the woods, Kara and Div in front of them hand in hand.

Fear never again wanted to walk and Joy instead ascertained constantly how much she loved nature.

They had been walking through the woods for the better part of an hour because Kara had told them that Div, who was constantly asking questions to people, knew where a member of the maintenance crew had spotted the yellow person.

Fear ran towards the clearing, suddenly gaining back an energy she had never known before.

In the meantime, the emotions back at HQ heard a knock whilst they were lying in Sadness’ bedroom, but it was a particular knock, the kind that came from knocking on glass, not on wood.

“It’s Kara.” Sadness deduced. “She must be at the balcony.”

“She can’t see us like this. We’re disgusting.” Disgust complained.

“We must know about our software and if it worked. We _have_ to see her!” Anger sat up on the bed and then slowly made her way back to the control room.

“Anger please! Please don’t let her see us like this!” Disgust got up from the bed and followed Anger.

When Anger got to the control room, she went straight to her seat and then pulled her lever.

Lena got up from the bed as best she could, and made her way out to her living room area to meet Kara. She was only wearing an old MIT shirt and some panties.

Upon gazing into Kara’s blue eyes, the blonde woman waved with a half-smile on her face.

Lena waved back just as awkwardly. They had not seen each other since nearly two days ago.

“Oh God, she looks amazing and we look like crap.” Disgust remarked upon reaching the control panel room, Sadness then entered as well, looking just as dejected.

Anger made Lena go over into the balcony’s door and open it. “Kara.” Lena let out in a breath.

“Lena.” Kara entered and then, seeming 7 feet tall, leaned down and embraced Lena.

Disgust and Sadness’ mouths gaped at the feeling and then slowly went to take their seats over at the console.

“You saved us all.” Kara whispered to her as she embraced her.

The emotions in HQ turned to look at each other in amazement. Lena then leaned back and met Kara’s eyes.

“It worked?” Lena asked her.

“It did and it caught them completely off guard and it was so easy afterwards.” Kara answered her.

All of the emotions let out a sigh of relief. “We didn’t fail.” Sadness whispered in utter astonishment.

“We didn’t.” Disgust joined her.

“That is so fucking great!” Anger raised a fist up in the air, a sign of victory.

Lena’s body sagged against Kara’s. “You have no idea what that means to me.” She confessed.

Kara held her tighter and then lifted her up in her arms and carried her further into the apartment. Lena let herself be held.

Kara walked with her to her bedroom. Perfectly quiet.

Anger, Disgust and Sadness started to feel more at ease surrounded by Kara’s warmth.

Kara then put Lena down on the bed and knelt right by her side.

“Are you tired? I’m sorry… I just assumed because of the way you felt in my arms.”

Lena nodded. “I am tired. I’ve had a really rough couple of days.”

Kara took her hand in hers and stroke it with her thumb soothingly. “Is it like when we last saw each other?”

Sadness took over the controls.

Lena shook her head. “It’s worse. Learning that I’m actually a Luthor has jogged some new memories… and I’ve been dealing with that.”

Kara sighed. “What are you remembering? If you don’t mind me asking…”

“You can ask, that’s okay.” Lena gave Kara a small smile. “I’ve been remembering my family in a new light. “For so long I just understood them as this rotten lot, but now… Now I keep remembering these moments of tenderness towards me, kindness… even love.” She elaborated.

“Lex, he is so perspicacious, always has been; but before he started using that to demean people and ascertain their weaknesses, he would see your pain and try to help you, try to provide comfort.”

Kara listened intently.

“And mother, she… she’s cold and tough, but perhaps it came from a necessity of eradicating any weakness in herself. Still, she was able to see when she went too far with me and regretted it.”

“My father instead, I don’t think he was ever able to recognize his shortcomings, but he loved me… in his own deluded way he actually cared.” Lena felt her eyes starting to water.

They both stayed silent after that and Kara stayed right next to Lena quietly stroking her hair.

“I blocked all of that… and now that it’s all coming back, I don’t know how to deal with it.” Lena confessed.

Kara let out a deep breath before speaking. “You don’t have to have it all figured out right this second. Right now you’re taking all of this in and that’s okay.”

“I just- I wish I was more of a grown up about these things. I wish I knew what to do.” Lena finally felt tears streaming down her face.

“You are doing exactly what you need to do right now.” Kara objected.

Anger frowned. “What the fuck is she even talking about?” She asked the other two emotions up in HQ.

After taking in Lena’s confused look, Kara cleared her throat and elaborated. “You are going through a lot Lena, but instead of bottling it all up and pretending things are fine, you’re at home, taking some well-deserved rest and trying to come out the other side all the much stronger. That’s not easy, and an immature person might not want to face this so… you are an adult and you are doing exactly what you should be doing.”

Anger, Disgust and Sadness were taken aback by this. Could it be that they were properly dealing with their issues like Kara had just explained?

“I haven’t sent anything to Box Island…” Sadness let out in a small whisper. “I’ve actually been taking all of this in and thinking things through… and I’ve been depressed as well of course.”

Anger thought about her own behavior. “I upheld our duty to help out with the Children of Liberty and I haven’t punched any walls or thrown any tantrums.”

Then both Sadness and Anger looked to Disgust. The green-dressed emotion shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know… I kept Lena well fed, made her take showers and brush her teeth?”

“We _have_ been doing well.” Sadness concluded.

“We have. Given the circumstances, we totally have.” Anger agreed.

Lena raised her hands to Kara’s neck and made her lower down for a kiss.

“Thank you.” Lena told her.

Back in Kara’s Island, as Joy was inspecting the clearing Div had pointed to, she knelt on the grassy floor and touched it. Suddenly the clearing opened up and a deep hole appeared on the ground.

Joy ran away from the hole, frightened by the entire event. “Does that happen often around here?” She asked to Kara and Div, who were now standing even further behind and looking intently at the hole.

“No. This is the first time we’ve seen something like this. Right bud?” She asked Div to confirm and the child nodded his response.

“Okay, what do we do now?” Fear asked Joy.

Joy ignored the question and instead tentatively stepped closer to the hole.

“Watch out! It might widen at any second!” Fear warned, but Joy instead got to the very edge and then kneeled and looked down.

“Fear, this seems very familiar to me…” Joy, still on her knees turned to Fear to address her.

“What!? Don’t tell me you came from a hole in the ground!” Fear was freaking out now. If Joy came from a hole in the ground… then that meant…

“I think we should go in there and see where it goes.” Joy stated.

_Oh God no…_

“Do we have to!?” Fear asked in a panic.

Joy then addressed Kara. “Do you have some rope we could borrow?”

Kara nodded. “We’ll be right back!” and then she left with Div in hand.

“Are we seriously going to do this?” Fear hesitantly approached Joy.

“Remember when I told you we’d be able to find me because I’d feel it?” Joy asked in return.

“Yes, I do.” Fear answered her and then knelt down right beside her.

“I’m feeling it right now. This hole will lead us to the right place. I just know it.” Joy said with nothing but conviction.

“Then I’ll help you.” Fear took Joy’s hand in hers and squeeze it.

A few moments later Kara was back with a rope and a flashlight. She tied it to a tree nearby and then gave it to them.

“Listen, you guys look a lot like my wife and I just love her so much… please be careful and stay safe.” Kara hugged each of them, gave the flashlight to Joy and then helped them down.

Both Fear and Joy rapelled down the hole, they both used their feet against the holes wall to support some of their weight as they travelled down it got darker and darker.

“Joy, can you turn the lantern on? I can barely see.” Fear requested.

“Yeah, no problem.” Joy had the flashlight pressed against her body with her armpit and as she went to get it, it fell down the hole.

“Please tell me that wasn’t the flashlight.” Fear begged from up above.

“I can’t tell you that.” Joy answered her.

“Okay I’m going up now, I can’t just literally be in the dark like this. I can’t even see my own hands in front of me.” Fear was starting to panic as she went back up the rope.

“Fear look!” Joy called out.

Fear looked down and saw that Joy was glowing in a yellow light. “That’s amazing!” She started to make her way down towards Joy.

“We’re getting closer Fear. I can feel it. Let’s keep going!” Joy encouraged, and together they descended even further.

After at least ten minutes had passed Joy felt the ground on her feet. “I made it!” She informed Fear.

“Oh thank God! I thought I wasn’t going to make it. My arms are burning.” Fear complained as she too reached the ground.

“Now what?” Fear asked Joy.

Joy looked around, everything was dark. She crouched down and picked up a sphere from the ground. The both of them looked at it.

It was a memory, but it looked cracked, faded and dusty. It played Lena as her mother bathe her as a baby.

“We’re in the pit.” Fear concluded. “This is where things are permanently forgotten. Joy must be somewhere in here.”

“Joy!” Joy yelled into the darkness. “Joy! Where are you?”

“Joy, we need to be careful.” Fear looked on the floor until she found the flashlight Joy had dropped. “We need to be able to find this rope again so that we can return. I’ll leave this here turned on, okay.” Fear tried to make the flashlight turn on as Joy ignored her and continued to yell into the distance. The flashlight flickered, but eventually turned on and Fear placed it down on the floor with the light going upwards like a beam.

“Alright.” Fear said to no one in particular because Joy was still yelling into the distance. She stepped in front of Joy and got her to shut up.

“Stop yelling and let’s go!” Fear told her and Joy nodded.

Both made their way further into the darkness.

Back in HQ, the emotions were now all huddled up by the control panel as Lena laid in bed with Kara.

The superhero had taken her uniform off and was now wearing some of Lena’s pajamas and Lena was caressing her blonde hair as they just basked in each other’s company.

“I’m so grateful you came into my life.” Lena confessed. “You brought such happiness to me. Happiness I hadn’t known in decades.”

Kara smiled at her. “I’m thankful you came into my life too. I wouldn’t have it any other way and you also make me super happy.”

“But I’m not well Kara.” Lena told her as all of the three emotions controlled Lena at the same time.

“That’s okay. What’s important is that we know this and we can get you any help you need. This thing with your family, finding out you’re actually a Luthor, reliving these memories. You have all the time in the world to sort it all out.” Kara told her.

“I haven’t told you the worst part of it all.” Lena said in a whisper.

Kara moved to be closer to Lena on the bed. “What is it?”

“I used to have this very distinctive memory of my mother dying. It was on a lake during a summer trip I was four years old, it was sunny and there were families around I could’ve asked for help as I watched her drown, but didn’t.” Lena said between whimpers.

Kara moved her arm around Lena to hold her.

“But now… now I remember it all so differently. It wasn’t sunny, it was raining and there weren’t any families around because they had left to find shelter from the rain and I _did_ scream and called for help. I did everything short of jumping in there with her.” Lena was crying now as she again relieved the memory.

“I’ve blamed myself for her death my whole life Kara. And now… now I’m not so sure there was something I could’ve done. Now I’m not so sure that it was my fault.”

“Oh Lena.” Kara held her even tighter. “Of course it wasn’t your fault.”

“I don’t know what to do with that information. That and being a Luthor, I am so confused Kara.” Lena lamented into the other woman’s shoulder.

“We’ll get you some help Lena. My sister’s wife, she can recommend a therapist to us and we’ll go from there. What do you think about that?” Kara whispered.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to discuss all of this with a stranger.” Lena answered and then wanted to cry even harder.

Sadness held strongly to the other two emotions for support as she touched a button.

“I want help, but I just don’t think I deserve it. I don’t know… a logical part of me thinks that I do, obviously everybody deserves help, but another part of me thinks I’m just as rotten as all the Luthors and then all of those memories flood back and I keep getting so confused.” Lena just needed some glimmer of hope in her life. Something that told her this was the start of a new journey and if she went through that path and put in the work, everything would turn out alright in the end.

“Even your family deserve help Lena. Even if they were completely evil and rotten as you say, but now you know they’re not, there is some good in them mixed in with the bad and being a Luthor does not have to mean anything more than a name. It doesn’t make you who you are. You _choose_ who you truly are, with your decisions and with your actions every single day.” Kara then kissed Lena’s forehead. “And you my love, you are wonderful.”

All of the emotions back at HQ started to cry in each other’s arms.

* * *

_Fear watched as Joy convulsed on the floor, but she and the other three emotions could not help themselves. Mother had just told them that their father had died and they were all losing it, smashing buttons left and right as fast and as hard as they could._

_Hours passed before Fear checked back to see if Joy was okay._

_She was gone. Nowhere to be seen._

_They went everywhere to try to find her but it all proved futile._

_She was gone now._

* * *

Fear instead followed a glowing Joy into the heart of darkness. She sometimes would slip because of a memory sphere lying on the floor, until instead of stepping up and down in order to walk, she instead started to drag her feet.

Joy tread on relentlessly, she was an emotion on a mission and she would not rest until she found herself.

After a while they saw a small light flickering in the distance and Joy started running towards it, with Fear right on her tail.

Then Joy slipped on a sphere and fell to the ground. Fear ran over to try to help her, but Joy was already up and running again. Nothing would stop her.

The flicker of light got nearer and nearer as they ran at full speed.

“I see her!” Joy yelled back and Fear turn to look upfront. There was a glowing person sitting on the floor, but she could not quite make out if it looked like Lena.

They ran for another minute and that was when Fear was able to distinguish a Lena lookalike, dressed in a yellow dress, barefooted and looking down to the floor.

“Joy!” Joy yelled.

And the Lena lookalike turned toward them. She tried to get up to meet them, but seemed to weak and fell back down.

The moment Joy reached her she knelt down on the floor and held her. Fear standing just behind her.

The other Joy looked even weaker than the first Joy had when she was at her worst.

“Who are you? What’s going on?” Joy asked the two of them.

“We’re here to take you back home. You’re safe.” Joy replied and as she held on to the other Joy she started to meld back into her.

Joy pulled back, hyperventilating for a moment.

“What was that?!” Fear asked in alarm as she looked between the two.

“We were joining.” Joy explained as she tried to calm down her breathing.

The other Joy looked from the yellow emotion to the purple one with pensive eyes. “You’re what left me, aren’t you? She asked Joy.

“What are you talking about?” Fear asked the emaciated Joy.

She’s nothing but a shadow of me. Back then, we received a calling and I thought I was finally going to get out of here, but I didn’t… instead I split in two and she was the one that got to leave. I made her swear she would come back for me and then she was pulled away but, she’s a part of me.” She took Joy’s hand and again they started to meld together.

Joy pulled her hand back. “What happens once we merge back together?”

“I’ll be complete. You’re ephemerous. Our calling was strong, but it came from a happiness from the beginning of a love relationship. That’s not real, everlasting happiness. Once we’re together, I’ll be strong enough for lasting happiness.” The other Joy explained.

“Will she-” Fear interrupted. “Will _you_ be able to remember everything that has happened since you split in two?”

“I don’t know.” The gaunt-looking Joy answered her. “I guess there’s only one way to find out.” She extended her hand out to Joy, but Joy looked at it with fear.

“Fear! Joy went to her and embraced her. Thank you. Thank you for everything. You saved me.” She held on for dear life.

As she held Joy, Fear watched the other yellow emotion approaching to hold on to Joy as well.

Fear turned their bodies around, wanting to hold the Joy she knew and loved a little bit longer in her arms. As a result, the other Joy ended up touching Fear instead.

Thousands of memories came back to Fear, memories of first existing and meeting little Joy and having her explained how everything worked.

Memories of their friendship and the good times they had had together. Memories of Joy fighting with Sadness over sending the memory of mom dying to box island or not, memories of Joy finding the good in Lex and Lillian and truly seeing them for what they were; memories of Joy as their commander, sitting at the center of the console and playing her piano, and memories of Joy vanishing and what it had felt like to lose her best friend, how she had mourned her and how they had all decided to forget her so that they could move on.

“Joy!” Fear cried out. “I remember it. I remember it all now. I did this to you. It was all my fault!” She cried even harder.

“I saw all of it. I remember everything too. It wasn’t your fault, you did what you could. We were only children back then Joy. You did a good job, you kept Lena safe and now you’ve rescued me. I love you so much.

“I love you too.” Fear told her.

A sudden light that went upwards shone from both of the Joys bodies as they were transported towards each other.

Fear let go of Joy and watched as the two yellow emotions met and melded into one single being of light.

Joy’s body seemed unconscious as she started to float upwards and upwards.

Fear jumped in time and held on to Joy’s body as it continued to fly up. Fear held on to Joy’s torso and as she looked into the other emotion’s face, she noticed that she was in fact unconscious.

Suddenly Fear could see the pit down below and all of the islands they had travelled to. Kara’s Island with the children still playing in the distance. Sam’s Island was completely destroyed and so was Family Island, she could even see dream productions and Imagination Land.

Then Fear turned and the Headquarters were right behind her. Joy’s body flew towards the large wide window of the office and it was as if the glass was not even there as they both together stepped into HQ.

Anger, Disgust and Sadness gathered around them.

“Fear! Joy! You guys made it back!” Anger exclaimed as she took Fear in her arms and held her tight, both Sadness and Disgust were holding on to Joy now.

“She’s back together. We found the other Joy and the both of them fused.” Fear explained.

“How did you guys fly up here like that?! Thank God I had opened the window earlier this morning.” Sadness told Fear.

“I don’t know, Joy just- she just flew and I held on to her.”

“We’re so happy you guys made it.” Disgust told Fear as she joined the hug between her and Anger. “We helped Kara take care of the Children of Liberty and we’ve been handling some issues with some memories that popped up yesterday.” She informed Fear.

“Were the memories about Lex and dad and Lillian? And… and about mom’s death?” Fear asked them. She could not believe they had also seen all of that, it must have been so hard on them.

“They were yes, how did you know?” Anger said.

“Joy and I triggered those. They were all packed away on Box Island.” Fear explained.

“Fear, we understand now that you were never to blame for mom’s death. We were so wrong to do that and I don’t know how you could ever forgive us.” Sadness told Fear as she still held on to Joy.

“Guys, I don’t hold any grudges towards you. I also agreed with you that it was my fault… but we were so young and it really affected us, we were all victims of that.” Fear moved closer to Sadness and now the five emotions were linked together in a group embrace.

“We love you.” Anger told Fear.

“I love you guys too.” Fear replied.

“Is Joy gonna be okay?” Disgust asked.

“I don’t know. My biggest worry is that she won’t be the Joy we all love and remember.” Fear admitted and then realized that the other three emotions did not know the truth about Joy being Lena’s first emotion.

“Are you guys talking about me?” a small voice asked them and they all turned to look at Joy. The moment Joy opened her eyes more memories poured out to Anger, Sadness and Disgust.

Joy stood up as all of the other emotions looked to her in awe. She was glowing a beautiful yellow color, wearing a dress and completely barefoot, a beaming smile in place.

“Commander.” Anger whispered.

“Yup… now, what’s this? Why is everybody lounging lazily on the floor? Get back to work people!”

The other four emotions stood up and ran towards her, holding her in a group hug and all of them crying happy tears.

“You’re okay.” Fear said to Joy as she cupped her face between her hands.

“I’m more than okay. I’m better than ever and is in no small part to my right hand and my best friend.” Joy leaned in and kissed Fear’s forehead. “Thank you. Thank you for everything Fear.”

Fear clenched her eyes shut and felt new tears streaming down her face.

“I’m so happy!” Anger exclaimed to the group.

“Me too!” Sadness joined her.

“Well, you better get used to that feeling. Because I’m here to stay!” Joy voiced to the group.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Fear agreed with a big smile.

They were all going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end!  
> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> I know this is probably my least popular fic, but it was a passion project of mine and I'm definitively happy I got to finish it.
> 
> Next chapter will be an epilogue with Alex's wedding.  
> If anybody wishes to suggest something they want me to include, be my guest.
> 
> Lots of love for everybody and please stay safe during these troubled times.


	20. Epilogue

“We’re late!” Fear shouted at the other 4 emotions.

Joy, sitting to her left, placed a calming hand on her shoulder. “Kara said she’d fly us there. There’s plenty of time.”

“But the we’re supposed to be there in 10 minutes and Kara’s still not here!” Fear continued to panic.

“Let’s call in our LCorp helicopter. That way we’ll fly ourselves!” Anger, sitting all the way to the left suggested.

“Okay, but like- seriously… where is Kara? I’m more worried about that. This is her sister’s wedding we’re talking about.” Disgust, sitting to Joy’s left, refocused the group.

They all stayed quiet for a moment.

“Something’s wrong!” Fear yelled. “They got to her or something! Oh my God!”

Sadness said nothing as she controlled Lena and helped her put on some final touches of make-up.

“Everything will be fine. Kara’s probably on her way over right now. There’s nothing to worry about.” Joy tried to calm the group down.

“Let’s just call her!” Fear stood up from her chair and shouted. “We’ll call her and she’ll answer and that way we’ll _know_ that she’s okay.”

“That makes sense to me.” Disgust agreed.

Then they all looked to Joy for her verdict.

Joy took in a deep breath and then let out an equally big sigh. She was wearing a yellow dress that went all the way down to her bare feet. “Okay let’s do it. Go ahead Fear.”

It was still a tiny bit weird having Joy be the commander, but they were bound to eventually get the hang of it. Especially because Joy was a very generous emotion and always made sure that everybody was at ease. A gentle hand on another emotion’s shoulder would sometimes go a long way.

Fear looked at all the buttons. There really was no rush to do this. She could choose one of the switches up top, or the lever to her right… Perhaps the little red buttons at the bottom of the console…

Fear lifted her hand and placed it on a little handle that went in a circular motion. It looked a lot like the pressure valve they would use to release the pressure when Lena masturbated. That thought alone made her blush. Fear went for it and cranked it.

Lena took her phone from that was placed on top of her vanity table and then called Kara.

“Easy does it.” Joy told Fear with a smile, not wanting her to go overboard once Kara answered her.

The phone rang once, then twice and thrice… by the sixth time it went to voicemail.

“She’s dead. She died and that’s why she can’t answer her cellphone! Oh my God Lena’s girlfriend’s dead. Does that make her a widow?”

“Shut the fuck up! She ain’t dead!” Anger made her way through Disgust and Joy to try to get to Fear.

“Everybody calm down! Return to your sit Anger!” Joy admonished.

Anger’s red eyes sent daggers to Fear as she backed away and returned to her seat.

“Lena I’m here!” Kara called out to her.

Joy stood up from her seat. “Kara!” She shouted with glee and then pressed some buttons to make Lena run to her girlfriend.

“Kara!” Lena said with emotion upon gazing at Kara standing by the balcony already in her gown.

“C’mon we’re late!” Kara beckoned her with her hand and then did a double take. “My God you look gorgeous!”

Lena was wearing a beautiful maroon dress that showed off her collarbone. Joy made Lena do a little turn for Kara. “What? This old thing…? Why thank you Kara Danvers. You’re not looking so bad yourself!”

Kara on her part was wearing a blue dress that Alex and Kelly had picked out for her as one of the maidens of honor.

Joy walked Lena towards the balcony and upon reaching Kara they shared a tender kiss.

* * *

“Oh God do I love kissing that woman!” Joy elbowed Sadness playfully. “Isn’t she great?”

Sadness, seated to Joy’s left in her usual blue Kryptonian gown, smiled kindly. “She is.”

“We better hurry or we’re not gonna make it in time…” Fear, seated to the far left also in a traditional Kryptonian gown like Sadness but purple, warned the group.

“I really don’t wanna be late. C’mon! Kara’s the maid of honor!” Disgust joined in.

“They’re right. Let’s do this!” Anger stood on top of her seat, her red cape flowing with a wind that nobody was quite certain where it had come from.

Sadness nodded in agreement. “Well, let’s do it guys. Joy, please go on and take us to the wedding.”

Joy smiled that big smile of hers and then rolled up the sleeves of her bright yellow sweater and got to work.

“Are you ready?” Kara asked Lena after their kiss had ended.

Lena smiled with tenderness and placed her hands around Kara’s neck. “I’m ready.” She said in a soft voice, with a tone only meant to be heard by a lover.

Joy pressed some buttons on the console that made Kara crouch a little bit before taking flight.

As a precaution, they flew way higher than usual in order to avoid being seen by people on the streets.

“You know that we have like seven minutes to make it there, right?” Lena asked her with her eyebrow thing that made Kara’s heart skip a beat.

“Hah!” Anger let out a big laugh. “As if that were a big deal for Kara!” She then hit her chest right on the insignia of the House of El on her tight red Supergirl costume.

Joy laughed at that and pressed a yellow button.

Kara smirked at Lena. “I assure you that seven minutes is more than enough time.”

“I see… and why were you so late in the first place?” Lena smirked at her right back.

After their big talk about Lena’s family, just a few days prior, Lena seemed much better. More confident in her own skin and open to new possibilities.

Lena had really scared Kara for a moment there. She hated to think about Lena and her breaking up because, in all honesty, Lena was a big source of inspiration for Kara.

Her love was a woman that had overcome so much in her life and had come out the other side both stronger and softer.

Sadness placed her right hand on Joy’s shoulder. “I’ll take over for now.”

Joy leaned back on her seat, letting the commander take over.

Kara took in a deep breath before answering Lena’s question. “I was getting ready, but then I heard this little girl crying… and it wasn’t faraway at all, it was only two blocks away from my apartment. So, I put on the costume and went to her. She couldn’t find her mom and she also… she needed a little bit of cheering up.”

Lena gaped for a moment. “That’s- that’s very sweet of you.”

“It was just the right thing to do.” Kara did not really wish to make a big deal out of it.

Sadness continued to control Kara as she flew with Lena across town. The sunset was on the horizon and suddenly everybody up in HQ realized that the entire setting was extremely romantic.

Anger, seated to Sadness’ left, raised her eyebrows at her in a suggestive manner. “I kinda wanna kiss Lena now.”

Sadness let out a little laugh. “Be my guest.”

“Give her a good one on my behalf!” Disgust, seated all the way to the right, in her green chinos and button-up shirt, yelled to Anger in encouragement.

Anger rubbed her palms together in anticipation and then got to work.

“Lena…” Kara flew confidently, carrying her girlfriend bridal style.

“Yup?”

“Did I tell you that you look incredibly beautiful?” Kara said with a smug smile.

Lena looked to the side in thought. “No, I don’t believe you have…”

“Well, you do.” Kara stated as a matter of fact and then leaned her head closer to Lena’s and gave her a passionate kiss.

Joy started full on laughing. “That’s way too cheesy! C’mon!” She lifted her legs up to her chair and leaned back to watch the show.

Anger paid no attention to the haters and continued her handiwork.

“Man… that’s hot.” Disgust commented, eyes indelibly glued to the screen up front.

“That’s enough.” Sadness told Anger.

“For now…” Anger whispered to herself as she let go of the controls and then Fear snickered in pure delight at her antics.

* * *

Once they arrived at the wedding, Fear started to hyperventilate.

“What if Lena doesn’t like our family?” Fear asked out loud.

“I don’t even like our family sometimes, y’know? It’s no biggie.” Anger quipped.

Joy laughed at Anger’s joke, but then answered Fear’s worry through a couple of residual giggles. “Fear don’t worry. She’ll like them! What’s not to like? Eliza and Jeremiah are both scientists like her!”

“Kara’s parents are good people.” Sadness intervened as well. “Lena will connect with them on that level.”

Fear felt infinitely better after hearing Sadness’ words. If they connected on that level, then perhaps Eliza and Jeremiah could play an important role in Lena’s life. Hopefully it would all work out in the end.

“I wanna take Lena’s hand though… It’ll make me feel a bit better.” Fear awaited her commander’s permission—which came in the form of a nod—before pressing a red button in front of her.

Kara instantly took Lena’s hand as they entered the wedding’s venue.

The room was filled with at least 100 people.

“There’s Eliza!” Disgust pointed out with excitement. And Sadness controlled Kara as she and Lena made their way towards her.

Upon meeting each other’s eyes, both Eliza and Kara smiled with pure glee and hugged each other with warmth.

Once they separated, Sadness asked Joy to take over for her.

“Eliza, I wanted to officially introduce you to my girlfriend: Lena Luthor. Lena, this is my mom Eliza.” Kara introduced both women to each other with gallantry.

Lena went for a handshake at the same time that Eliza went for a hug, then the two women stopped and regarded the other one’s actions for an awkward second. Laughing it off Lena then went for a hug.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Eliza.” Lena told her with genuineness.

“You too Lena! When Kara called me two months ago asking if she could bring a plus one I nearly wanted to kill her because the seating arrangements had already been sent to the planner!” Eliza started to say in a hurry. “But once she explained to me that it was her girlfriend, I was so very excited! It truly is an honor to have you here with us. Alex told me how you helped save the city!” Then she leaned back in and gave Lena another hug.

Anger leaned back, relaxing completely in her seat. “Everything’s going fine, you see? This was such a great idea.”

Fear, seated just to Anger’s left, still felt apprehensive. “First let’s see how Lena reacts to this, you know she sometimes gets awkward with compliments…” She warned.

After the hug between the two women finished, Lena smiled all teeth at Eliza. “Thank you so much. That’s so kind of you to say, I really appreciate that.”

Joy cheered. “Lena likes Eliza!!!” She then turned to Disgust, to her right and high-fived her.

Fear let out a sigh of relief.

One down and another one to go.

Joy got to work.

“Eliza, do you know where Jeremiah is?” Kara asked straightaway.

Eliza looked around the room as she said. “Last I saw him, he was hanging out with our neighbor Tom.”

Sadness pressed a green button to the side. “Alright people, let’s scan the room.”

Suddenly everything in the screen turned to slow motion as all 5 emotions examined everybody in the room.

Hundreds of faces were scanned in just one single second.

“There he is!” Disgust pointed out.

Kara looked to her right and then touched her mother’s forearm. “I found him. I’m just going to go introduce Lena for a quick moment. Do you need me to help with anything?”

“Well, your sister’s expecting you so actually, you better hurry up.” Eliza pointed to some double doors just behind her.

Anger jerked up immediately. “We need to go to Alex!”

“Yes! She needs us!” Fear agreed.

Sadness took over the controls.

“Lena, I have to go meet Alex, but Eliza here is going to tell you where to sit and I’ll meet you there pretty soon, okay? I guess you’ll meet Jeremiah later on.” Kara said whilst blushing profusely.

“That’s okay. No worries! Say hi to Alex for me!” Lena received instructions on where to sit from Eliza and then, after giving Kara a small kiss, left for her seat.

Kara made to leave, but she felt as Eliza gently grabbed her by the arm.

“I really like her!” Eliza told her with a big smile. “I’m really impressed Kara.”

Sadness smiled softly as she made Kara reply to what her mother had just told her.

“I love her.” Kara said in all honesty.

“I can tell you do. I’ve never seen you quite like this. I’m really happy for you Kara.”

Kara went for another hug. “Thank you.”

After that, Kara made her way through the crowd, having to stop here and there to say hi to family and friends, eventually she got to the double doors. Upon opening them, Kara found herself in a hallways with several door to both her left and her right.

“Anger, please help us figure out where Alex is.” Sadness asked.

Anger got up from her seat and pressed a switch on the upper part of the console. Immediately Kara lowered her glasses and they could all see every single room.

“Oh my God! The kitchen’s back there?” Disgust asked out loud. “You guys… that cook’s sweat is about to fall on that pot.”

The image on the screened zoomed in on the man’s drop of sweat, falling from her forehead to his nose and…

Disgust took over the controls and next thing they all knew Kara was gently bumping into the cook and getting the drop of sweat to fall on the floor.

Anger then took over.

“Heyyy there pal… you might want to dry off some of that sweat on your face.” Kara told the man in a sort of menacing way.

The man stood completely surprised at Kara’s presence that had literally materialized out of thin air.

“Y-yeah of course.” He replied and then took a towel from his pocket to dry his face off with.

Joy started laughing. “His face! Did you guys see his face?!” She kept on laughing as Sadness directed Kara back out to the hall.

“Okay, where were we?” Sadness said aloud as they all looked into every room.

One of them was a bathroom, the other one had Kelly in it along with her mother and aunts and, finally Alex was on the other side, sitting on a couch looking like a nervous wreck.

“Bingo!” Anger shouted.

In just one second Kara was standing right in front of her sister.

Alex stepped back with a fright. “Fuck!”

Joy laughed again. “Oh man, her face! Did you guys see that?”

The other four emotions ignored her as they always did.

Alex stood up and went to hug her sister.

Disgust’s eyes widened in surprise. “She looks incredible!” And went to press a black button in front of her.

“Alex you look so amazing.” Kara told her sister. Alex was wearing a white tailored suit, with a deep blue flower on her lapel.

“Why are you so late? Did something go wrong?” Alex dismissed her compliment entirely and got right to business.

“We’re not late!” Anger shouted at the screen. “She told us to be here at 5:30… it’s 5:37 right now, that’s not late!”

Sadness looked at Anger for a moment and then took over the controls.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just lost track of time. What do you need? Are you okay?” Kara offered quickly.

Alex let out a sigh of relief. “Okay umm- thank you for being here.” She said in an awkward tone.

“She sweating, her breathing’s like crazy and her pupils are dilated.” Fear started to point out to the other four emotions. “This woman’s losing it!”

Sadness nodded in acknowledgement and pressed some buttons on the control panel.

“You know… Kelly’s a wonderful human being.” Kara said out of nowhere. “Anybody she marries is one lucky woman.”

Alex’s face turned to recognition. “I’m not getting cold feet Kara.”

Sadness looked to Joy. “Okay, let’s back it up a little. I think I went in a little too strong there, she’s getting defensive.”

Joy nodded and took over.

“I know, I know… but what do you want me to say when I see you all sweaty and jittery like that?” Kara smiled big at her sister, trying to tease her a bit.

‘I’m just the right amount of nervous.” Alex countered. “I’m getting married! It’s perfectly normal!”

“It is! It’s perfectly normal!” Kara agreed. “But I promise you that everything will turn out alright.”

Alex let out a sigh she seemed to have been holding for a while now. “I know, I know.” She stood up from the couch and went to hug Kara.

All of the emotions felt that hug.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

In the end, Alex and Kelly’s wedding was incredibly beautiful.

Kara stood by her sister's side and watched her take a leap of faith with the woman she loved. It was incredibly inspirational.

Afterwards they were told to go for a little cocktail and the newlyweds went to take pictures for posterity.

“Kara, would you excuse me for a moment?” Lena had asked Kara, once she had spotted Sam taking a drink with James, Nia and Brainy.

“Ooooh…. They’re still not talking, are they?” Disgust asked out loud.

“Nope… which must suck a lot. That’s Lena’s best friend after all.” Anger observed.

Sadness then pressed some buttons.

“Sure Lena, I’ll be right here, take your time.” Kara answered her girlfriend.

Lena then leaned in to give Kara a small peck.

* * *

“Okay let’s fucking do this!” Anger shouted at the group. “We were stupid assholes and we need to properly apologize to Sam!”

“You’re right. Let’s do this.” Joy agreed as she made Lena march decidedly to Sam by the little cocktail table.

“Sam…”

Sam looked away from Nia and turned to see who had said her name. “Lena…” She replied with contempt.

Nia, Brainy and James all said hi to Lena quickly, even though they had just observed the tense interaction between her and Sam.

Joy turned to Sadness quickly and nodded for her to take over.

“Can we talk for a second?” Lena asked her friend.

“Oh so now you do want to talk to me?” Sam said with sheer sarcasm.

“I do, please.” Lena tried again.

Sam inhaled deeply and then let out a long breath. She then turned to the other people on her table. “Please excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

The guys nodded and then both Sam and Lena walked to a secluded corner of the room.

“What I did to you was wrong. You were only trying to be there for me and I- I was cruel to you and pushed you away.” Lena started.

Disgust stood up from her chair and walked over to the wide window at the back of the room.

She looked down at Sam’s Island with a sad-looking expression. It was completely destroyed with no sign of it being rebuilt any time soon.

“It was. I’m glad you see that.” Sam agreed.

Lena could feel her eyes watering. “I’m so sorry. You’re my best friend in the entire world and you mean the world to me. I’ll do anything to gain your forgiveness.”

“Good. You’ll babysit Ruby for the next four Fridays the.” Sam replied in a matter of fact tone.

Everybody in HQ started to laugh.

“I will. You know I will.” Lena replied in a rush.

“Good.” Sam then pulled Lena in by the neck and gave her a hug. “Don’t you dare treat me like that ever again. I was really scared for you.” Sam said with sincerity.

“I know… I- I’m not well Sam. I know I need some help, but now I feel ready to take those first steps and go to therapy- talk all of this out… I had never felt this hope I feel now.” Lena said candidly.

“That sounds amazing Lena. I’m happy to hear you say that.” Sam held even tighter to her.

“I love you.” Lena told her.

“I love you too.”

Disgust gasp. “Guys! Guys! Guys!”

Joy, Sadness and Fear joined Disgust by the window.

“Look! There’s a truck with construction materials arriving at Sam’s Island.” Disgust remarked.

The other three emotions looked down and watched as several trucks arrived at Sam’s Island, and the construction team started to unload the materials.

“It’ll take some time to rebuild, but Sam’s Island will eventually be back!” Anger told them after she hung up the red phone.

“That’s amazing!” Joy said excitedly.

Anger joined them and all five of them hugged lovingly.

* * *

“Could I have this dance Ms. Luthor?” Kara had stood up from their table, after finishing their dinner and now she had extended one of her hands towards Lena.

Joy stood up from her seat and jumped up and down excitedly. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“Do not reply to her like that. We can’t show her we’re so desperate!” Disgust admonished.

Joy looked to Disgust and shrugged, pressing a yellow button and then pulling down a lever, the console opened up to show her beloved piano keyboard.

“C’mon! let’s all play!” Joy encouraged the others and then started playing a cheery melody.

Lena took Kara’s hand and stood up from her seat. Together, the two women walked over to the dance floor.

The other four emotions also took out their instruments.

Fear was the first one to join in the melody with her violin, then came in Disgust with her Viola and finally both Sadness and Anger entered the melody with deeper tones.

Kara grabbed Lena by the waist with one of her hands and then took Lena’s hand with her other one.

They started dancing.

Joy kept playing the key melody of the piece and they all followed and watched das Lena danced and danced with nothing but happiness and glee.

“Damn Danvers you really got some moves. Are you a professional dancer?” Lena quipped.

Kara laughed. “No, I’m just a reporter… and a superhero on the side of course.”

“You could’ve fooled me.” Lena replied with a smirk.

Kara smiled with tenderness in her eyes and then leaned down to kiss Lena.

Lena kissed her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> I hope this little weird story resonated with you in some way or another.
> 
> (Can't wait to hear from the binge-readers now hahahaa!)
> 
> Anyways, see you guys on the next one!
> 
> Ohhhh and check out the fanart of all of the emotions from the Pixar movie as Lena Luthor. It's on a link right below! hehehe.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Inside the Mind of Lena Luthor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22968946) by [SketchJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SketchJ/pseuds/SketchJ)




End file.
